In need of advice + question about unusual OCD theme

[Guest viking79]

I don't want to repeat the whole story again, but from a former post, I have had issues for some months concerning an episode with my dog eating human faeces. This occured last September and didn't give me any bad issues at the time it happened, but some recent stress (breakup with partner, mum got ill) started me ruminating about the episode.

Been on Fluoxetine for seven weeks now, still waiting for the real effect to kick in (I've read some people need to wait 2-3 months to feel any benefit).

It is not just the thought that my dog ate the poop, but I ruminate about the person who actually "left" it there. Since I was in school, I have always divided people into good and bad ones, based on their looks, intelligence, tastes etc. In school there was a girl in my class who was very dirty, antisocial and very unpopular. I made compulsions about her, for instance, I had to think about a nice girl instead of her in quite a few actions throughout the day (made rituals like handwashing etc.) When I left my homeplace, I "forgot" this girl, but another "dirty" woman was working for a short period in our office. Since then, she has taken the place in my mind of a bad, dirty person I don't allow myself to think about. Because of this set of compulsions, I think there is a slight, microscopic chance that the faeces my dog ate is the poop of this woman. It really digusts me, even though I know it is very unlikely.

I try to rethink the whole situation from September, whether my dog for instance licked my shoes, or clothes, or any furniture at home. I have washed some of my shoes, and of course made him eat and drink and showered him before he was allowed to run about in my flat. Still, I think that any of my shoes still are not clean, I think I need to wash the shoeshelf once again with antibacterial soap. I also ruminate about whether the dirt/smell/bacteria/germs whatever that might have been licked to the shoes are still there after the machine wash.

I do CBT and ERP with my therapist. I recognize that I might used some of my old shoes to early, since it gave me high anxiety two days ago. I bought some new shoes yesterday and think of just using them, throw away the old ones and even the shoe shelf. My ERP training the next week is listening to a voice record of myself retelling the story of my dog's faeces eating over and over again (five times a day) and note down the levels of anxiety created.

I am just too tired of this and in need of advice. I also wonder whether others have got this kind of OCD - i. e. separating people into good/clean and dirty/bad ones?

Love

[Guest viking79]

No one to give advice or feel somewhat the same?

[PolarBear]

Concerning separating people into good or bad, stop doing it. I can't see any benefit in doing so.

The problem with the dog poop is you're fixated on it. You keep going over it in your mind, again and again and you're not getting anywhere with it. This just makes the situation worse for you. It's a compulsion and it's something you need to work on stopping.

As you can imagine, cleaning your shoes again or throwing them out would be compulsions and that's definitely something you don't want to do. It won't fix the problem. Even if you threw out all your shoes you'd think of something else that might have been contaminated and the whole thing will continue in your head.

Try your best to not ruminate over this. Leave it alone. Let the thoughts of feces pop up in your head but don't react to them. Just take an apathetic view to them.