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Feeling so low


Guest worminmyhead

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Guest worminmyhead

I'm still worried I've cheated, I'd like to understand more about blackouts and how it would affect my medication, I can't stop these horrible thoughts of sexual noises and saying that I screamed and everyone heard that night it really is horrible I don't know what to do please help

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Guest nervous

The answer is simple. You can't. Sorry I know that is most likely not the answer you were looking for. Every day I ask myself hundreds of times if what I am thinking is OCD or a real concern. Sometimes I concede that it is just ocd other times I give in and do the compulsion. This morning I was faced with a doozy of a dilemma and I happy to say I made the right choice, which is what I say now but this morning I was convinced that I was putting my families life in danger and it seemed very real to me.

Now for you, I could ask you your own question, how can you tell if it's true or false?

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Guest nervous

What you have to do accept is that you don't remember. If you console yourself by saying, well surly I would remember than you will only feel relief for a short while before you begin to doubt yourself again. What if a new image pops in your head?

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Guest nervous

I know it is hard, very hard. You have to accept that people have thoughts all the time but we (ocd suffers) attach so much meaning to just a few of them and we have done so for a long time. It is very hard to break these old habits because they are connected to our emotions and if there is a battle between what we feel and what think, what we feel always wins. With us humans our connection to our emotions is stronger than our connection to rational thought. This is designed so that in the old days if there was a threat we would react in an instant because it "felt" wrong. The difficulty for people with ocd is that feeling is showing up when it shouldn't, so things seem so real that we will ignore reason because if it feels this real it must be real. I said to my psychiatrist that ocd was such a diabolical illness because it doesn't need a scrap of evidence, it is completely self full filling and it doesn't have to follow any logic to exist.

But we can beat it, I have just made quite a bit of progress in a short amount of time once I found the way that works for me and you can too. Keep trying

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It's what I call "real or not real thought" very hard to seperate - But trust me u will now if u black out!!!!

I blacked out recently and you KNOW when its real.

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Guest worminmyhead

What is a blackout and if I had one would I remember something sexual because I was reading up and people said they have had sexual acts and not know they have done it untill people tell them

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Guest nervous

Hi worryinmyhead, a blackout is something people have when they have been indulging themselves too much. I am a recovering alcoholic and addict and I had lots of them back in the day. But thats not your problem here, your problem is doubt and you are doubting your memory. Trying to recreate the past can only end up with fictional information being filled in to the gaps, you have to stop researching this it is just a compulsion and will only increase your doubt. sorry if this sounds like a broken record but you have to give up trying to sort out these events.

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I used to worry about drinking and not being able to remember things. Stopped drinking. Now, I still worry about not being able to remember things....because maybe I was too tired, zoned out, etc. My point is that if you are like me, even if you eliminate the possibility of an alcohol induced blackout, your mind will likely come up with new things to worry about. So thinking about blackouts probably isn't going to solve anything if you're as screwed up as me.

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