Kind of fed up a bit

[NicoletteCB]

I've been with my current girlfriend for little over a month now, and I'm currently in what I consider a "recoverey" phase from my OCD. It's been two months that I've re-introduced myself to triggers that used to cause tons of anxiety, my intrusive thoughts are greatly reduced, and my anxiety is also low.

I had sexual orientation obsessions so honestly I took a really big dive and gamble with deciding I want to be with my girlfriend and not let my OCD bully me when it comes to pursuing someone I really love. In some ways I'm really so thankful and blessed I'm with her because she knows I have OCD (tho she is unaware of my "theme") and she is extremely understanding, comforting, and supportive. She is all about my victories against the disorder and is very patient and loving.

Anyway honestly I really love my girlfriend but we are in a long distance relationship (one hour difference) and so we do text a lot and so my OCD has been getting a bit nasty. Since I've gotten with her I am constantly getting OCD thoughts that I don't "feel" in love with her or am not getting the right feelings when she sends me messages telling me things I have always dreamed about other girls telling me.

The thoughts are really bothering me because she'll send me a very adorable message and the second I read it I get a thought like, " If you're not feeling happy about what she wrote you, you must not be in love with her."

I hate these thoughts and they're ruining my joy in this relationship honestly I feel so awful for having these thoughts in my relationship and I'm not sure how to proceed in getting over them?

[LizzyHoy]

Hello, just to clarify, what are your sexual orientation thoughts? Is it that OCD says you like women or that you don't?

I think films etc. do us a disservice by portraying love as dramatic feeling. Some people can identify a feeling of love, but not always. Often the relationships that feel like highly romantic film/book depictions of love start with a bang but don't last. A friend who has recently got married told me he was marrying his best friend. Another married friend said she doesn't get butterflies any more when she sees her husband, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love him.

Also, you've only been with your girlfriend for a month - it's rare to fall in love within a month. I think the best thing to do would be to try hard not to ruminate on the thoughts. At this stage of the relationship it doesn't matter whether or not you are in love anyway, as you're still in the early stages. As long as you like her and want to stay with her then that's all that matters. I would try to ignore the thoughts, and enjoy what you do have and feel.

[Guest lizinlondon]

Maybe it is just nerves getting in the way. Have you met her in person yet?

[Guest nervous]

First of all congratulations on your success in your recovery and moving on with your life. I think you should consider that as you do move forward there will be new challenges to face and I wouldn't put it past OCD to start trying to make you doubt yourself again. Keep going the way you have been and leave the doubts in the past.