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highlight

Bulletin Board User
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About highlight

  • Birthday 29/07/1995

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    cumbria , seascale

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  1. Thanks for the reply. Imagining it makes me nervous, but no where near as nervous as I would if I did the exposer. Should I imagine the worse case? I imagine my intrusive thoughts coming true and me and my family dying. Or the most realistic?
  2. Hello, the only way I think I have a shot at being free of my OCD is by getting over the core fear underlying the current theme. First some background. I have been on this form before quite a few times, but for those of you that don't know, my theme is quite unique. In my teenage years I got into parapsychology (research of psychic abilities) and became convinced it's real... Which is really really really bad if you have OCD. In fact it's probably the last thing you want to know. But anyone I developed a fear of thinking about germs. I would terrify myself whenever I thought about germs teleporting/materialising to my hand or mouth. I would be convinced I was going to suffer a horrible end. Anyway years passed and nothing happened. The fear is still there but not as bad as it was. But within the past few years things have gone from bad to worse. I started to think that any altered state of mind is risk I can't take. I have developed a strong fear of not being able to sleep for an extended period (such as a week or two) which I fear will make my thoughts about come true and me and my family will get horribly ill and die. I know this is very odd fear and I wish I could talk to someone else who has something like this, but I haven't met anyone like that yet. This fear seems silly, but it left me housebound for a year and a half (I'm over that now thank god). It has caused me so much suffering. I need to be free of it. But the only way I think I can is to expose myself to it. How the heck do I do that? I'd have to stay up for at least 3 days to make even a dent in it, which sounds really unpleasant and I don't even know whether it would work, but what else is there?
  3. I don't know whether this is common. But in my case my rituals seems to get more and more complicated ,demanding anxiety provoking and strict until I cannot actually do them "properly". At this point I usually avoid the thing that I need to do the ritual for (this could be turning on a laptop or leaving the house). I have a laptop that I have not used in months because I know about the near impossible ritual that I have to do in order to use it. What should I do? PS: I am currently taking CBD for the OCD. I have been taking it for a few days. It may of had an effect but it's hard to say. If it has the effect is not large enough to be worth the effort as of yet. However it could still help you so don't let this completely colour you view.
  4. I want to fight back against the ocd because it has ruined my life. But I don't know where to being. I mean I have lots and lots of rituals that are extreamly anxiety prevoking. Part of me is tempted to just "flood" and try and get it over with. Or I could start with the most frequent rituals and work from there. Before you ask yes I have seen multiple therepists and tried a few antidepressants. But now I am worse than ever..
  5. My latest OCD theme which is pretty much running my life. Is a theme built around the fear of not sleeping. Basically if I don't do a ritual then the anxiety from not doing it can make it hard to fall asleep and then furfill the fear I had! I don't know what to do because the whole idea around getting better is the idea that the feared outcomes does not/will not happen even if you don't do the complusion! Is this a known barrier to OCD recovery? What do I do?.
  6. Hi I have been trying some ERP today. I have to say whenever I try this or even just fail to do a compulsion I get very unpleasant anxiety. Does it always have to be this way? Or is the a more pleasant and effective way I can get better. As for medication I am on citalopram and have been for the past 3+ months. It has had maybe a subtle effect at best and no effect at worst.
  7. I have been given Citalopram 10mg. I have just taken half of a tablet today just to see if I get any side effects. So far nothing remarkable has happened. This is a far cry from Zoloft which made me pretty ill. So I was wondering how long will it be for the effects to kick in? I have been told it will take a month.
  8. I keep getting told that some antidepressants work better for some people than others. You could ask your doctor about changing meds.
  9. That's interesting...my fears actually seem to revolve around psychic stuff. But also contamination. Basically I think that if I think of a disease I will get it. But I don't think you are schizophrenic if you were you would not think you were going crazy. Schizophrenics are not that in touch with reality.
  10. I have flu like symptoms... A mild sore throat that comes and goes , a headache, chills and hot flushes, dizziness, fatigue (I feel really tired) and just a general "bad" feeling.
  11. hi I'm highlight? my main fear is of disease (dying a slow painful death as a result of some rare and some dangerous infection ) :( So I am VERY hypochondriac/health anxiety. But now I actually do feel ill and my anxiety is using this against me. But I am convinced that sometimes my anxiety can make me feel ill there are many times when this has happened. But then again I do feel pretty bad. what should I do? I'm s*** scared.
  12. A year or so ago I asked whether anyone else had the same theme as me. Although I found some people with similar themes I have never found out if anyone else had the same theme as me. The theme is as follows. When I was about 13-18 I started to get interested in the paranormal. (big mistake for an OCD sufferer) At about age 16 I developed intrusive thoughts. The thoughts were that if I though about a disease like say Rabies I would get it and die. Later on I also developed a fear of any mind altering event for fear it would make it come true. Seems like a strange and far fetched fear, But it has caused me quite a hell in the past. Although at the moment I feel okay. So my question is this. Has anyone else had a obsession like this? Or perhaps another question how has what you learned affected your OCD?
  13. I am having this in college right now. As there are many people around and they are falling ill all the time. I am afraid that is just the way it is. The only thing that works for me is telling myself I am crazy and therefore probably wrong most of the time. But I see no reason why you should be worried. It sounds highly likely you will not be sick. It sounds like he got food poisoning. But he had a burger and you had pasta two completely different meals and I see no reason why you would get food poisoning from some pasta. You got nothing to worry about. ;)
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