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Guest Needadvice

Hello, this is my first post and I have only just registered but I feel at a bit of a loss of what to do!

I believe that my boyfriend has OCD. I have done some research and he has all the symptoms. He will spend very lengthy times in the shower, washing his hands over and over again throughout the day, taking longer than it should to do day to day things like the dishes etc.

If I don't wash my hands the way he does he won't let me touch him. He will open public toilet doors with his foot (shoes on) rather than touch the handle with his hands. If my son gets dirt on his hands he will make me clean it as he cannot. If his clothes or towel touch the floor then they have to go in the wash, even if they have not been worn.

Sorry, I could go on, I just feel at such as loss. I am starting to feel like I am dirty and it upsets me when he won't let me touch him because I haven't washed my hands (even if they didn't need washing). My son is starting to catch on and he himself is now spending ten minutes washing his hands and he is only 3.

The problem I struggle with is that my boyfriend is reluctant to really accept he may have OCD and is refusing to go to the doctors or even realise how it is affecting me and my son. It is taking it's toll on our relationship and I'm not sure what to do?

Any advice would be grateful! Sorry to waffle on

Thanks

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Hi and welcome to the forum. Never apologise for waffling, we all find ourselves doing that when it comes to our loved ones!

Obviously none of us on here are expert enough to make a diagnosis, but I would also say a lot of people on here would recognise those symptoms both in themselves or their family member.

Its so difficult when you start becoming involved, especially when there are children who pick up on these rituals.

I would try in a calm time explaining to your boyfriend that none of you can go on long this, particularly as your son is getting involved. Tell him it may not be OCD, but you really need him to find out what is going on so you both know what you are dealing with. Its very hard when an adult doesn't want to get help, one of the problems being that the person knows they are going to have to challenge the things which make them feel safe.

There are lots of information guides on the main website which might help, this being one of them http://www.ocduk.org/ocd-information-guide

I hope you make some progress. Do let us know.

Carol

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello and welcome.

My boyfriend also has OCD so I can empathise with your situation. I agree with the above comment and would just like to add that though it seems like the right thing to do to ease your boyfriend's distress, you should avoid complying with his requests to clean a certain way, etc, as much as possible. I really wish I hadn't been so ready to "help" my boyfriend as much as I did in the beginning as things have just snowballed. it might be hard at first to refuse requests but it will help you both in the long run.

Er, I hope that doesn't sound like I'm telling you off because I'm not! I just wish someone had told me that right at the start of my adventure into OCD.

I hope it helps.

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