Mixed Emotions

[ACE]

I have a lot of mixed emotions I think well maybe they do come from the illness perhaps or the illnesses in my case of course the OCD,Major&Bi Polar depression,BDD&Anxiety.For e.g usually I'm quite stable but I can have the suicidal thoughts still come in my head,I can have the thoughts also that something is going to happen to me maybe some harm but I don't feel it is paranoia or being paranoid really just a type of feeling.For e.g it does feel in my head I don't think I'm going to be happy very long and something or someone will come along and I'll be gone from this world.They can be mood swings at times but other times they aren't really mood swings I do feel and are mosr just types of feelings.I was wondering can anyone realte to this at all? :original: .

[Guest lizinlondon]

I get that too. It started happening since I took fluoxetine. I can feel quite stable and happy one minute and then a thought comes in my head like "I want to kill myself". When this happens I get a shock. I think of all the good things in my life and know that I don't want to kill myself but the thoughts still come through.

I also get thoughts that someone will harm me or I will harm someone. This mainly happens when I am in busy places and I get stressed because there are so many people around.

Maybe these are just intrusive thoughts related to OCD but they lead to my mood swinging too.

[FoosBoo88]

I can relate with my OCD. When I'm under pressure my mood is volatile! I get angry so quickly! I become cold, snappy, then I get tired, resentful and depressed. It's all part of the package I'm afraid

FoosBoo88 x

[Guest lizinlondon]

It's good to know other people experience this. I really thought I was losing it. I guess it is just another thing I will have to learn to live with!

[ACE]

Thanks very much for your comments I really appreciate them very much so Liz&Foos.I've been able to contain the thoughts for quite a while now although they can get quite distressing and overwhelming really and my mind can just feel pretty overloaded really :original: .

[Guest OCDAY]

Hi ACE,

I get this too, especially the suicidal thoughts (although deep down I know I wont action them). We cant help what thoughts pop in our head!!! I took a gamble and decided to tell my psych about suicidal thoughts (thought I would be sectioned), it went well and he confirmed it was my OCD.

[NicoletteCB]

I actually got an intrusive suicidal thought today, I went into the medicine cabinet to grab my accutane and saw my dad's pill bottle and a thought randomly popped up, " What if I grabbed all those pills and overdosed?" I forgot about it until I saw this post, but I let the thought go.

I also have suicidal intrusive thoughts when coming out of the car when my side of the car is on the street I get thoughts telling me when I climb out of the car I'll loose control and run into the street. I'm not suicidal but those are pretty common OCD thoughts so you're not alone.

Also same with expecting something to come knock you down when you're happy. I get that a lot too, but my therapist told me that when you expect to be knocked down by somethig then it's easier for you to get put down even by the littlest thing because you're dreading and anticipating it.

[Guest OCDAY]

Hi Nicolette,

Yeah all common intrusive OCD thoughts.

Well done for letting the pill bottle thought go :original:

[ACE]

Thanks very much for your replies once again OCDAY&Nic,I'm very sorry Nic that you had those feelings.I've been still having those types of feelings yesterday I had a bad sort of feeling with my BDD my nose as usual, I don't know really I've had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember and I think for e.g if I didn't act on them when I was so depressed i'm so unlikely to these days.Although another part of me seems to think I still may one day.

[Saad]

I agree very much with Foosboo, it is all a part of the package unfortunately. When I'm in the grips of a serious obsession I try to keep away from people out of fear at lashing out at them for no reason. I'm lucky never to have encountered BDD, but it sounds just as agonizing as I can imagine. If you're thinking you aren't going to act on your thoughts now then it's a definite start, just got to keep soldiering through my friend.

- S

Edited August 29, 2014 by Saad

[ACE]

Thank you very much for your reply saad I really appreciate it,I've been able to get through the urges of ending my life many many times before even when i was severely depressed although it's always there.On the weekend it came strong again thinking for e.g my parents and everyone else are better off without me around and I couldn't help but feel it was/is true .I'm seeing my dr again this afternoon anyway and I hopefully will have a good talk with him.

Edited September 1, 2014 by ACE

[Guest OCDAY]

Hey ACE,

How did your DRs appointment go??

Hope your ok.

[ACE]

Thanks a lot for your concern&support OCDAY much apprecited :original: .My Dr's appointment went ok I'm just feeling a bit down really .