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Why do we take what ifs so seriously??


Guest Stu.

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My brain has been tormenting the living daylights out of me now for a week, purely from a what if, with what if images to go with it!!, why cant we just dismiss this rubbish and put it behind us?, ive tried my best to not engage with the thoughts but I just cant do it, its always there!!

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That's the disorder. It won't let you easily disconnect from the thoughts and just dismiss things like other people.

Even if the thoughts are hammering away inside your brain, you can detach yourself from them. You just haven't figured out how yet. Practice, practice.

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Does engaging with the thoughts help? :no:

We can't banish the thoughts, we can't make them stop.....but impossible as it seems sometimes, we can refuse to engage with them. They will keep re-emerging and the compulsive side of this disorder tends to push us towards dialogue, towards trying to work them out. Like mosquito's we have to acknowledge they're annoying, intrusive, they bite...but we have to keep swatting them off and continuing with our day despite them.

If we could simply dismiss them there would be no such disorder as OCD......we're all a work in progress and have to keep practising even in those times when it seems futile. That's when it's probably most difficult but also effective.

Hang in there :hug:

Caramoole :)

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Does engaging with the thoughts help? :no:

We can't banish the thoughts, we can't make them stop.....but impossible as it seems sometimes, we can refuse to engage with them. They will keep re-emerging and the compulsive side of this disorder tends to push us towards dialogue, towards trying to work them out. Like mosquito's we have to acknowledge they're annoying, intrusive, they bite...but we have to keep swatting them off and continuing with our day despite them.

If we could simply dismiss them there would be no such disorder as OCD......we're all a work in progress and have to keep practising even in those times when it seems futile. That's when it's probably most difficult but also effective.

Hang in there :hug:

Caramoole :)

I think I could dismiss them if they wernt just so disturbing and horrible :(, as soon as the thought is there the anxiety hits me, even though its something ive made up its like my brain is trying to pass it off as real!?

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OCD (and other mental health issues) are particularly tricky because they mess with us in ways that we normally associate with our sense of self. We OCD sufferers tend to fall into the trap of "well I feel real fear/anxiety so the thing I fear must be real too!" It's totally understandable and something I'm definitely guilty of. There's a couple of things I like to remind myself that help me out.

First, I remind myself that we can feel real fear or anxiety, even when there isn't something to actually be afraid of. That's why scary movies work, we can feel the fear, yet we know what's happening isn't real. Or the reason strange noises or unexpected things (like a friend leaping around a corner and saying boo) can make us feel nervous, proving even real life situations without any danger can evoke fear responses.

Second, as someone who has had asthma since birth, I have a good reminder that our bodies don't always function in an ideal fashion. Sometimes, for no good reason, I feel out of breath. While it's true that people can become out of breath for real things, like running a long distance or being at a high altitude, it can also be caused by asthma. Likewise with OCD we sometimes feel fear and doubt for no good reason, fear and doubt CAN happen for real reasons, but they don't ALWAYS happen for real reasons, and since I have OCD I know that's where my fear and doubt can come from, just like my shortness of breath happens because of asthma.

In both cases, it's not like I WANT it to happen, it just does. And in both cases while I can't cure it, I can manage it.

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OCD (and other mental health issues) are particularly tricky because they mess with us in ways that we normally associate with our sense of self. We OCD sufferers tend to fall into the trap of "well I feel real fear/anxiety so the thing I fear must be real too!" It's totally understandable and something I'm definitely guilty of. There's a couple of things I like to remind myself that help me out.

First, I remind myself that we can feel real fear or anxiety, even when there isn't something to actually be afraid of. That's why scary movies work, we can feel the fear, yet we know what's happening isn't real. Or the reason strange noises or unexpected things (like a friend leaping around a corner and saying boo) can make us feel nervous, proving even real life situations without any danger can evoke fear responses.

Second, as someone who has had asthma since birth, I have a good reminder that our bodies don't always function in an ideal fashion. Sometimes, for no good reason, I feel out of breath. While it's true that people can become out of breath for real things, like running a long distance or being at a high altitude, it can also be caused by asthma. Likewise with OCD we sometimes feel fear and doubt for no good reason, fear and doubt CAN happen for real reasons, but they don't ALWAYS happen for real reasons, and since I have OCD I know that's where my fear and doubt can come from, just like my shortness of breath happens because of asthma.

In both cases, it's not like I WANT it to happen, it just does. And in both cases while I can't cure it, I can manage it.

thanks dksea, I guess that's why the call it a disorder as we get real fear and anxiety from something that's not even real, its just this made up thought just keeps coming back over and over and over, its highly distressing :(

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Sure it seems real. That's why it's a disorder. Even if the thoughts were of something real you'd still have to get on with your day.

getting on with my day is becoming a problem!

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Guest xsarahxlouisax

My brain has been tormenting the living daylights out of me now for a week, purely from a what if, with what if images to go with it!!, why cant we just dismiss this rubbish and put it behind us?, ive tried my best to not engage with the thoughts but I just cant do it, its always there!!

set yourself a project I am going to start a patchwork quilt soon with my mum in order to distract my mind x

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set yourself a project I am going to start a patchwork quilt soon with my mum in order to distract my mind x

im not really upto doing much at the moment, watching tv or being on here is about it :(

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That's the disorder. It won't let you easily disconnect from the thoughts and just dismiss things like other people.

Even if the thoughts are hammering away inside your brain, you can detach yourself from them. You just haven't figured out how yet. Practice, practice.

How do I detach myself from them?, I really need to know this.

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You detach yourself from them by not giving them any attention, not performing compulsions.

You allow the thought to come in and you just leave it alone. Let it be there, floating around. It's just a thought. Don't try to push back against it. Don't engage in some useless compulsion. Just let the thought be. It's not your thought, it's OCD's thought.

The moment you get one of these thoughts you start to get anxious. You immediately feel the overpowering urge to push back, fight it and perform compulsions. That only makes things better temporarily. It also reinforces that there is something terribly wrong with the thought. Then the cycle repeats.

You need to learn to allow the thought in. Let it be. Your anxiety might go sky high but it will go down on its own. Practice will make the situation better. Repeated exposures like this result in anxiety peaking at lower and lower levels and the length of time for anxiety to go back to normal levels decreasing.

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@Stu - I totally understand how you feel, I've been there myself where I'd rather just stay in bed all day and do nothing, but here's what I've found, that doesn't help things get better. I know how it can feel like doing anything seems impossible, but I've found that even if I have to force myself, getting up and doing SOMETHING, always always pays off in the end. Even something as simple as going for a ten minute walk can really make things better. It doesn't have to be big or grand, you don't have to go travel around the world, or invent the cure for cancer, but doing something other than sitting around will help put OCD back in to its place. That's not to say you can't still enjoy some time crashing on the couch and catching up on your favorite shows, but try not to let it be how you hide from the world. Trust me, it's worth the effort.

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We take them seriously because OCD is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Logic no longer matters because the part of your brain that tells you you're in danger isn't working properly. It should be noted, however, that you are not 'broken'. Simply needing some repairs :) And those repairs, whilst difficult to apply sometimes, will always do the trick if you persevere. At least, that's what I've found.

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Guest Starlight505

getting on with my day is becoming a problem!

I totally understand. I been feeling really anxious since april time. Somedays its worse other days its less. I don't like leaving the house much. I'm wondering whether its the medicine I take, if thats causing the anxiety perhaps. Its really disabling.

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I totally understand. I been feeling really anxious since april time. Somedays its worse other days its less. I don't like leaving the house much. I'm wondering whether its the medicine I take, if thats causing the anxiety perhaps. Its really disabling.

I restarted back on fluoxetine last night, I was previously taking nothing and I have to say I have felt a bit better today, but im taking nothing for granted, ill see what tomorrow brings, what are you taking?

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@Stu - I totally understand how you feel, I've been there myself where I'd rather just stay in bed all day and do nothing, but here's what I've found, that doesn't help things get better. I know how it can feel like doing anything seems impossible, but I've found that even if I have to force myself, getting up and doing SOMETHING, always always pays off in the end. Even something as simple as going for a ten minute walk can really make things better. It doesn't have to be big or grand, you don't have to go travel around the world, or invent the cure for cancer, but doing something other than sitting around will help put OCD back in to its place. That's not to say you can't still enjoy some time crashing on the couch and catching up on your favorite shows, but try not to let it be how you hide from the world. Trust me, it's worth the effort.

I spend most of the day in bed watching tv as my anxiety is less in bed, I don't know why!?

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We take them seriously because OCD is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Logic no longer matters because the part of your brain that tells you you're in danger isn't working properly. It should be noted, however, that you are not 'broken'. Simply needing some repairs :) And those repairs, whilst difficult to apply sometimes, will always do the trick if you persevere. At least, that's what I've found.

I think you hit the nail right on the head there.

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