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WHAT SHOULD I DO


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Hi everyone my name is Aya

I suffer from an eating disorder and OCD.

I also suffer from self harm.My OCD effects my life a lot as i don't go outside and don't have any friends because of it ( im not going to go into the long list of others ).I just found out that my uncle who is more like a dad to me is terminally ill with his cancer. I had to say my good byes to him the other day. I got home and cried for a few hours in my room. I have had suicidal thoughts for a while before i found out. I always feel so tired and weak from not eating and i just couldn't be bothered to eat at all. It sounds really bad but i just wanted to die. Theres no other way of putting it. I was just so fed up of not having any freedom. I was scared of everything i did. I want to go to the beach and walk down a street but i cant. The way i looked at it i didn't have a life only an existence. I got really upset and had an argument with my mum. That was it i completely lost it and decided i defiantly wanted to die. I started to self harm badly and wanted to just keep going. Eventually i stopped and i didn't die. My family don't know that i tried. No one knows until now. My mum doesn't even know that i self harm. Neither does my psychiatrist. If i tell my psychiatrist i self harm and have tried to kill myself how will she react ?

I'm scared encase she overreacts.

Should i tell her ?

Aya x

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Guest Shannon

Hi Aya.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. You are in the right place for support and there are a lot of people out here who want to listen- it can really help to offload all your problems and talk about everything.

Please do tell you psychiatrist about the self harming, this is a behavior that needs to stop and you need support, this is exactly what they are there for.If you ever feel vulnerable again then look at some of the help lines on this site, there are people to talk to.

You are having a very hard time and are vulnerable at the moment as you have had some sad news which is understandably hard to cope with. Please try to look after yourself, eating will give you more energy to deal with your problems and put you on the track to getting better. There are good times that lie ahead, waiting in your future, you will get over this tough period.

Lots of hugs x

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Yes, you need to tell psychiatrist everything. It's a scary thought, I know. Your psychiatrist is there to help you but can't do her job properly without knowing all the facts.

She can only try to come up with solutions for those areas of concern she knows about. Right now she's nor offering solutions for you for a big area of concern because she doesn't know about it.

You were brave enough to tell us about your self harm. You can tell your psychiatrist the same way.

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Hi Aya

I agree with Sharon and Polar Bear, i'm sorry about your uncle and the problems you are having at the moment, I think you should tell your psychiatrist, this is what they are here for, to help you, they can't help you if they don't know the problems. As for wanting to go out and walk outside etc the power ultimatley is in you to do that however there are things like CBT that can help? I have you had CBT before? Hope everything works out and remember we are here on this site if you need us.

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