Christmas

[sunshineseeker]

Does anyone else find Christmas really really difficult? I am absolutely dreading it this year. I feel like I have let everyone down by being depressed and anxious all the time because of my stupid obsessive thoughts. I haven't even been able to muster up the energy to write any Christmas cards or do hardly any Christmas shopping and we have family coming over for a meal and I have no idea how I am going to cope. So fed up of this horrible illness taking over my whole life :-(

[OCD_Guy_UK]

Yup, I've not found christmas fully enjoyable for many years. This year it'll be harder as I'm not in a good place atm with OCD. It'll be upsetting for sure, but I'm going to try my best to enjoy what I little I can.

[Guest Tricia]

I dread Christmas and I know it's all down to my OCD.

[daisy]

I am also dreading Christmas and it is all down to my OCD as well as other things that have happened this year,i am supposed to be taking my disabled son away tomorrow and i am absolutely petrified!

I have let him down this year because i should of taken him to the Panto's, and also to a place to see Santa,(he went with the care home to a panto)but i have been feeling so bad.

I have to go out today and i just feel like i am paralised with fear,then that stops me doing anything, but i have to,so i guess i am just going to have to go for it!

It hasn't helped that i have just had a phone call from a woman that my partner had been having an affair with,she just rang me then put the phone down!

Oh well better try and get out!

[Guest Orwell1984]

Daisy so sorry to hear this. Please do talk to a friend about phone call. You need people to help talk this over with and not stew on your own about it because OCD will find a handle in there to grasp onto. What your partner did was not your fault, it was entirely his fault.

[daisy]

Thank you Orwell,i have spoken to a very good friend about this,but my biggest problem really is my partner,he just gets so angry about everything even though he has said he wants to work on our relationship.

I am worried that when we get away he is likely to storm off and go,leaving me with my son!(he is always doing it)

He did say the reason he had the affair was because he was jealous of my son,not the fact i have ocd although i know that probably paid a big part.

Anyway i just wish i could stop feeling so guilty about not doing some things for my son,i guess i will just have to try and get on with things and try and give him a good time as best i can,and that is only what we all can do x

[taurean]

I am not in a great place OCD-wise*, but we are where we need to be on Christmas purchasing.

I usually love the music but it is passing me by a bit this year.

* Problems with making negative associations to distress.

Essentially this means "free associations"- where we think of something then think of a link from it . My brain is looking to find a link to distress rather than happiness. I have never had this so bad before. The therapist has given me a tool to use to challenge it, but I really am looking to cut down the amount of it. I think I just need to raise my resilience a bit and look to make more happy links or just not make links.

[ailo]

Im pretty much in the same place sunshineseeker. Havent bought one present, not written one christmascard, no christmastree. I dread christmas, and afraid i will ruin the joy. I even dread getting presents and all the expectations.

Daisy: Im sorry to hear what you going through this christmas. We cant do better then our best. Im sure you are doing your best for your son. Dont blame yourself for your partners behavior. Give yourself some credit!

[CJay]

I find Christmas difficult to cope with too though anybody other than my husband probably wouldn't be aware of that.

Christmas cards get written out several times over and presents repeatedly wrapped and rewrapped.

Buying presents isn't easy either as I won't go anywhere without my husband and busy places terrify me anyway.

So much anxiety over one day.

[Symps07]

I'm not really a big Christmas person tbh, but I am determined to enjoy this one. Although I should point out that for me Christmas is just about Christmas Eve, Christmas Day & Boxing Day, not the months of commercial build up.

I sincerely hope everyone here can relax enough to have as good a Christmas as they can due to their circumstances! & if not, I hope the New Year brings better luck. :original:

[daisy]

Thank you ailo,i just wish i could do more,but to be honest i really do not feel well besides my OCD,and this time we have to stay awake at night to watch my son as the care home isn't sending any night time cover,so i think i am putting too much pressure on myself to make it almost perfect!

CJay i am the same as you,i bought a few things on line this year but now i don't feel they are clean,as they have been on the ground,i know logically they are,but i can't really convince myself it!

Before i had OCD,i really used to love Christmas,but this year has been especially hard!

Well i guess all we can do is our best and try and enjoy what we can,and don't expect too much of ourselves.xx

[Guest Stu.]

Im not doing a single thing for xmas and ill be on my own, its heaven to be honest, I cannot stand xmas!

[daisy]

That really is just what i could do with right now i feel so exhausted!

[taurean]

I had a better Christmas-ish day today - tree and lights are up and we did that together. I feel i can let go a bit now that is done. And relaxing is what I need to do, I am very tense.

Tension is often due to wrong thinking, and my thoughts have been locked by intrusions - but we carry on.

I shall try I think to let everything go and enjoy some fun and some togetherness - we like to watch "family" style films - heartwarming stuff. Plus the music.