Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I need to claim disability benefit but I don't know how, I phoned citizens advice bureau but they never called back. I lost my Mum three weeks ago and she didn't want me to claim benefit because she took care of me, but now I have to. But I have a lot of problems. Firstly, I'm agoraphobic, I have been since I was twelve. I have not been outside except to get into a car, once, In nineteen years! I have very bad OCD. I can not cook for myself, fire phobia, knife phobia, germ phobia, so I need someone to cook for me. I can not be left alone foe more than a few hours and only if someone else is in the house. For instance my brother is taking care of me, but he can only leave to go shopping because my Dad lives in another room, (his very frail and stays in bed). I need people to clean things, the toilet and such or I wont use it, can't touch it myself. I' am very, very social phobic, I can post on forums but get panicky if someone tries to talk to me in messaging and I can talk on the phone but it is very, very hard and leaves me very, very anxious and exhausted afterwards. I can not bare to be seen, if someone comes into the house I hide, I can not bare being seen, I can't! I also can not bare being touched or breathed on, can't bare it. I' am terrified of doctors, I have a lot, a lot of health phobias, the very mention of a doctor or any health issue makes me completely freak out, I'v had this since I was ten. I have this weird phobia were I feel as if I' am made of glass, (not literally), but I feel that if I move around too much I will break or hurt myself, so I don't I don't know what to do...I don't mind talking to a psychiatrist or someone like that, as long as its from behind a curtain. I'm sorry, I must sound very strange... Link to comment
carolj Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Hi and welcome to the forum. Im so sorry to hear you lost your Mum a short while ago. No one on here will think you are strange, but will hope that one day you will feel strong enough to get some help to get back out into the World. Have you ever had any treatment? Please apply for disability, its so important, as much as anything your national insurance contributions are credited to you, which will protect your pension rights in the future, however far away that might seem. Dont feel alone doing this, your brother can help you and can even talk to them for you, you just need to be there when he does. When my son applied we found them to be very helpful and not at all judgemental. I think you can apply for ESA and PIP. PIP is the old Disability Living Allowance. https://www.gov.uk/pip/eligibility The charity Rethink have some very good leaflets about how to apply http://www.rethink.org/living-with-mental-illness/money-issues-benefits-employment/personal-independence-payment Can I suggest that you (or your brother) ring the Rethink helpline at the top of the page, Im sure they will have all the answers for you. There are lots of people out there to help make sure you get the benefits you need and are entitled to. Does your brother claim carer's allowance? It sounds as though he should. I hope you get this sorted out quickly and please keep in touch, there are lots of people on here who can sympathise with your situation. Carol Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Thank you for answering Um, no I've never had treatment because of my terrible doctor fear, my fear of being touched and seen and going outside. Does that matter? Um, I can't go to an assessment and I can't talk to anyone face to face, only from behind a curtain, and I've only done that once, for about five sentences I have no health care professional, I'm terrified of doctors, terrified! Edited May 27, 2014 by anonymous0910 Link to comment
carolj Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 No it doesnt matter at all that you havent had treatment, only for your own sake. Dont worry about the assessment for now, if you have looked at the Rethink information you will see that they can come to you under certain circumstances. When my son has seen them, they have been very understanding. Does anyone know about your situation? Does the doctor know, even if you never go there? Does your Dad have anyone coming in to see him? If you have been unable to leave the house since you were 12, did you manage to finish school? Sorry for the questions, just a little worried for you. I really would get your brother to ring the Rethink helpline so that you can work out which benefits to apply for. Please dont not do it just because of an assessment, there are always answers to these things. Carol Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 I don't mind an assessment too much if I can do it from behind a curtain and it is not a physical medical. I was home schooled by my Mom. My Mom took care of us and her loss was very sudden and very unexpected... I don't have a doctor at all, last time I tried to see a doctor he took no notice of me, told me I was over weight and sent me for a blood test at the hospital which was place impossible for me to go to, that was ten years ago. My Dad refuses to see a doctor, we have tried to encourage him, but... Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 I phoned rethink but they think it might be difficult without a doctors diagnosis and being behind a curtain... Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Hi Anonymous I'm so sorry to hear that your life has become so complicated and so very difficult because of your mental health problems, it must be awful. Can I ask a personal question? Putting aside all the current difficulties you have about seeing or talking to someone, apart from the problems re Disability Benefits, what do you hope for for yourself in terms of your mental health? If it were possible, would you like help to overcome the many problems that you have? Caramoole Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Honestly, I've had them so long, I wouldn't know how to live without them, In truth I'm terrified of the thought of living, I'm not very adventurous but...I know I should say I longed to be cured and though there is that part of me, In truth I'm so used to it that I would be terrified if I was, that must sound strange... To be honest, I'm so frightened by everything that it feels like being paralysed, even the simplest thing is exhausting, I do have very bad problems facing things... but I'm so frightened all of the time it is impossible to even put one foot forward... Edited May 27, 2014 by anonymous0910 Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I think it's probably a bit scary to look at the whole big picture, it's bound to feel far too daunting...especially when you've lived that way your whole life. In truth I'm so used to it that I would be terrified if I was, that must sound strange... It doesn't sound strange, no....it's what you've become used to so it's understandable. Having said that it must be dreadful to live every day with such fear and anxiety....and there could be practical problems too. Just as you've found following the death of your poor Mum, which I'm so sorry to hear about.....what would happen if your Brother developed a problem, say he had to go into hospital for an operation or something. Would you be able to cope on a day to day basis without his support? Even when things have become as difficult and complicated as they have, there is always a way for improvements. At the moment the picture and the task in hand just looks too big...but bit by bit that can be changed, even though you might not be able to imagine that. I know that you've explained that you're afraid of Doctors but could talk to a Psychiatrist. How would you feel about talking with someone like a Psychologist Fortunately, todays marvelous technology enables us to do things like that via applications like Skype. Would that be an option do you think? Each and everyone of us here understands what it's like to live with extreme fear and anxiety. We know what it's is like to be paralysed by the power of our own thoughts but many have learned gradually (maybe at different speeds) how we can improve that situation and start to claim lives back. We're here to help out and support you in anyway we can. You deserve to feel so much better. Caramoole Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I have this weird phobia were I feel as if I' am made of glass, (not literally), but I feel that if I move around too much I will break or hurt myself, so I don't Weird knows no bounds in an OCD World. I don't know if you watch much TV but one of our Patrons of the charity is Ian Puleston-Davies, the actor who plays Owen the builder in Coronation Street. No-one would guess that someone so in the limelight might suffer from the very same problems we do. You might find reading his story interesting and find some parallels to your own fears http://www.ocduk.org/ian-puleston-davies-daily-mirror Caramoole Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) I know that you've explained that you're afraid of Doctors but could talk to a Psychiatrist. How would you feel about talking with someone like a Psychologist Fortunately, todays marvelous technology enables us to do things like that via applications like Skype. Would that be an option do you think? I can talk to a psychiatrist via the internet?! And no, I couldn't survive a day on my own. Edited May 27, 2014 by anonymous0910 Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I can talk to a psychiatrist via the internet?! Sorry, was that a question? It may be possible to do that, would that be something you'd be interested in? Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Yes it was a question. Yes, I would be very interested in talking to a psychiatrist over the internet. Edited May 27, 2014 by anonymous0910 Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Unfortunately, he's away for a couple of days but I wondered if you'd be able to talk to our CEO Ashley via the telephone or not? I don't know how you are on the phone....but if that was a problem I've sure something could be done by e-mail. Let me have a word with Ashley and see what the Charity can do to see if we can sort some help out for you. And don't panic, you're in control How would that be? Caramoole Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I should also point out that Ashley himself is an OCD sufferer so he knows how difficult things are. Without being rude (I know I shouldn't ask a ladys age) ....(certainly not mine! ) but I just wondered roughly how old you are Caramoole Link to comment
Phili Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Could we start with PMing on the forum, it can take days for my nerves to recover from a phone call and I have trouble talking over messaging, I get uncomfortable like I'm being forced into a corner. Also, when my nerves feel strong, usually during or just after a crisis, my physical health feels strong, but when my nerves are weak, my physical health feels weak, is this normal? Oh, and I'm 30 T.T Edited May 27, 2014 by anonymous0910 Link to comment
Caramoole Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 That wouldn't be a problem, I'm sure. Let me have a word with Ashley and see what we can do. As I say, he's away on business for a couple of days so it might be later in the week. Also, when my nerves feel strong, usually during or just after a crisis, my physical health feels strong, but when my nerves are weak, my physical health feels weak, is this normal? Yes, I think that's quite understandable And it must have been a very stressful time losing your Mum so suddenly, it's bound to have been a big shock. Please don't feel pressured, take this at your own pace, no-one wants to push you into a corner. If there's anything you'd rather ask privately, I'm happy for you to PM me if you'd rather not post it on the forum. Caramoole Link to comment
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