Its all going the wrong way!

[Falcontech]

Hi guys, I haven't posted in a while as I thought I was doing OK in starting to fight OCD. I started taking sertraline 2 weeks ago and thought it had given me a bit of strength to start the battle.

I feel like its all gone wrong now though. Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that among other things my ocd revolves around bats and rabies. I had been managing to realize that my fears are ocd. However, my partner has given me an ultimatum, I either snap out of it or he will leave. He says he loves me but is no longer in love with me because of what I have become. I've tried explaining its the ocd and he just says yeah I know you have ocd. I was feeling kinda proud that I'd stopped some of my compulsions and I'm gutted that its nowhere near enough.

I know he is right but I don't know how to snap out of it and this pressure isn't helping its actually made me go backwards a bit and I feel like I've undone some of my hard work.

I am still waiting for cbt it could be ages before I actually start it. Can someone please give me some guidance on what to do when things get even tougher. I don't want to lose what used to be a great relationship to Ocd. I feel so **** right now but I know I can't give in. What can I do right now to get back on track. I'm really scared that its not OCS and I'm actually going mad now.

When I explained my bat worries my partner says I should be sectioned btw.

Any suggestions would be grateful received. I'm lost right now.

[Guest Sisyphus]

Hi guys, I haven't posted in a while as I thought I was doing OK in starting to fight OCD. I started taking sertraline 2 weeks ago and thought it had given me a bit of strength to start the battle.

I feel like its all gone wrong now though. Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that among other things my ocd revolves around bats and rabies. I had been managing to realize that my fears are ocd. However, my partner has given me an ultimatum, I either snap out of it or he will leave. He says he loves me but is no longer in love with me because of what I have become. I've tried explaining its the ocd and he just says yeah I know you have ocd. I was feeling kinda proud that I'd stopped some of my compulsions and I'm gutted that its nowhere near enough.

I know he is right but I don't know how to snap out of it and this pressure isn't helping its actually made me go backwards a bit and I feel like I've undone some of my hard work.

I am still waiting for cbt it could be ages before I actually start it. Can someone please give me some guidance on what to do when things get even tougher. I don't want to lose what used to be a great relationship to Ocd. I feel so **** right now but I know I can't give in. What can I do right now to get back on track. I'm really scared that its not OCS and I'm actually going mad now.

When I explained my bat worries my partner says I should be sectioned btw.

Any suggestions would be grateful received. I'm lost right now.

So his way of supporting you through this common medically-recognised complex disorder of the mind is to tell you to just snap out of it or he'll put you through further trauma by leaving? And to try and convince you you are crazy?

Sounds like a hell of a nice guy.

OK so I'm sure there's more to it than that and I know it can be hard for partners/family etc.

But knowing how hard OCD is, it makes me angry when someone who apparently cares about you seemingly completely fails to recognise the gravity of the problem, or read up about it, or try and support you in it. But maybe there's more to it and he has done some of that before?

I suppose we have to take a step back and consider, if we did not have OCD, how much we might know about OCD and how we might regard it in someone else? Perhaps we might be disappointed by the answer to that?

I'm not over my OCD yet, so I don't have any advice on how to deal with the extra anxiety I'm afraid. But I can tell you that it still really sounds like OCD to me(I read some of your other posts) and you're not mad. But hopefully you are aware this is an extremely common doubt among OCD sufferers - about not having OCD and that they are just a uniquely broken or crazy person. I don't know why but it seems to come up an awful lot.

I think you need to acknowledge that having OCD is not your fault - totally beyond your control - so no-one is in a position to blame you for it or tell you to just stop it. And doing so is weak.

I don't want to speak out of line, but from what I've heard here, it doesn't sound like the problem is with you, it's with your other half.

David.

[PolarBear]

Falcontech, after reading your post I have to wonder which of you needs therapy more.

You don't deserve to be treated that way. You suffer from a well recognized disorder that requires much more than snapping out of it.

There is no magic cure that's going to suddenly make you well. The proper therapy will take time to work and he's just going to have to live with that.

[Guest LeaveMeOutIt]

Falcontech, if someone gives you an ultimatum like that in your state it speaks loudly to their suitablility as a life-partner

IN sickness and in health. You might have an easier time getting better on your own if this guy is asking like such a clown he's making it worse.

[legalseagull]

Have to agree with everyone, your bloke sounds like an idiot. Perhaps next time he gets a cold/flu/headache/pulled muscle/broken bone you can tell him to 'snap out of it'.

[Falcontech]

Thank you all for the replies. I have a lot of thinking to do. As if I don't do enough of that already!

Normally my partner is loving and supportive. He says he has had enough of it now. I know none of this is easy on him either.

I've told him I can't snap out of this. If it were possible no one would be on this forum and I would've done it long ago.

I guess everything is just dragging on and I'm not much help around the house sometimes. I also snap at him when I'm stressed or doing compulsions or if he gets in the way of compulsions.

I'm struggling and need support so I will have to decide what is for the best. There is so much more to it but I would be here all night and bore everyone if I wrote it all.

I did tell him that he is not allowed to reassure me or do any compulsions with or for me so that I can get better. I think he is doing this to try to "snap me back to the real world".

I'm going to think carefully. OCD sucks. Thank you all for your support. It means so much.

[Guest Saz]

Hi falcontech

Finally I'm replying to you! Firstly thank you for your kind words earlier on my thread.

Ocd is a rotten business without the added stress of a partner who doesn't understand or is unsympathetic. However I just think some people don't understand unfortunately-which I know is rubbish. Or they may understand but are just not as patient or comforting as others would be. Do you think perhaps he is stressed with any other issues, work for example? Maybe he has other factors effecting how he is being towards you. Like you said he's normally loving etc so maybe he's saying things and not meaning them.

I haven't told my partner about my worries as I don't think he would be too sympathetic and I couldn't cope with a negative reaction-hence why I often come on here.

On a more positive note I was on sertraline and it really helped me. I would say it perhaps needs a little more time to kick in and hopefully you will feel the benefit, it could take the edge off the anxiety for you.

Hope you manage to sort things out x

[Falcontech]

Hey Saz thanks for your reply. I think he is just stressed with me! Anyway things have calmed down a little though we are not quite on talking terms. I'm just trying to concentrate on recovery for now though the extra stress isn't helpful. In future I'm going to keep my worries to myself! I'm hoping the Sertraline will kick in soon that's just past two weeks now.

Hopefully you are feeling a bit better today. x :original:

[Guest Saz]

Glad things have calmed down a bit. The thing to remember is we all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment or when we are frustrated/stressed etc so hopefully your husband really doesn't mean any of what he said.

Fingers crossed the sertraline works for you. My doctor said its one with least side effects. I found it helpful and to be honest would possibly have stayed on it longer had I not got pregnant.

I'm ok, taurean started a good thread last night and put some really good info and advice down- the title of the thread has slipped my mind sorry but just click on his profile. I think its about if anyone is stuck! It mentions about 'awfulising' which is something I do, not sure if you do the same regarding your fears-but worth a look.

Best of luck

Sarah x

Edit-its called refocusing the camera the thread x

Edited July 31, 2014 by Saz