HIV OCD

[Guest mc18]

Hey I am new to the forum. Basically I think I am gay. However as I have started to become aware of this I have developed really bad anxiety about having sex with a man. I am scared that I will get HIV, even from safe sex and oral sex. I am really anxious about this. It has stopped me from getting close to anyone. I have already had three HIV tests when I kissed a guy. I have never had sex with a guy but I still think I have got HIV.

[dksea]

Hi MC18, welcome to the forums. Health fears are not uncommon with OCD, I've worried about a variety of them over the years. Unfortunately you've already discovered one of the major difficulties with obsessive fears, even when we have strong evidence to counter them we still feel anxiety. Logically you recognize that your chances of having HIV are nearly zero, but you still feel anxious, so you continue to worry. So the bad news is the way you might normally tackle a problem like this (getting tested, avoiding risky behavior, etc.) won't be effective because of how OCD affects you. The good news is there are ways to tackle these fears that do work, though not as quickly or easily as you might without OCD. I encourage you to check out the info on OCD, how it affects people and how it can be treated on the main OCD-UK site and of course feel free to jump in on the forums. You are not alone!

[Tez]

Yes, HIV fears are not at all uncommon. OCD tends to exhibit what I call "cultural tracking" so that things that are in the news or about which there is a lot of publicity tend to be a source of anxiety for people. HIV has been one of those things, on and off, for the past thirty years or so.

I can say from some experience, as I have volunteered for an HIV charity on and off for some years, that in all the millions of HIV diagnoses that have taken place, no one has been infected from a kiss. But, as Dksea points out, reassurance is not the way to go to alleviate the anxiety - it's structured CBT and response prevention therapy.

Welcome to the forums and keep using them - they are a constant source of support and guidance from people who understand and care.

Best wishes

Tez :original:

[Guest peteredwards]

Hi mc18!

Welcome aboard! (I'm new here too!). You've taken an important, brave step by doing this so... CONGRATULATIONS!

The others are right - CBT is definitely the way forward for you.

During my mid-teens, I was unsure about whether I was gay. Apparently, OCD can mess with your head with that stuff too and it turns out that I wasn't. But if you are, that's completely cool too.

Remember that OCD is an anxiety disorder and that, untreated, it will always find a way to make you nervous, scared, unsure or convince you that you're horrible. Trying to ignore it or shut it off will not work.

For the record, HIV is now very treatable and I believe that a cure breakthrough is coming very soon.

Please make an appointment to see your doctor (about your OCD). You'll feel better!

Peace and love to you, brother.

Peter

[Guest Princess👑Panic]

Well said Peter x

[Tez]

Yes, Peter is right: HIV is highly treatable and is not the concern it was (although obviously, it is still a major, chronc health condition). But you don't need my reassurance: just structured ERP and other talking therapies and possibly some medication.

And yes, anxiety about sexual orientation is also a major focal point for a lot of people's OCD. For the record, this can cut both ways. So, just as a lot of straight people get "Gay OCD" or "HOCD" as it is sometimes unofficially known, so it is perfectly possible for gay people to get anxiety about whether they might be straight. Basically, it is the illness striking at the heart of a persons identity.

Kind wishes and be as kind as possible to yourselves.

Tez