New Member: Intrusive Thoughts/ROCD

[Guest gracelouise123]

Hey there, I'm a 17 year old girl that has been suffering with OCD for 4 years, however I only got diagnosed July last year. It started out as Intrusive Thoughts (hurting people) that I still get today, however it has spiralled further and got it's hooks into me. I've recently started CBT and can feel myself progressing, however the last few weeks I have been very low. I have been suffering severely with ROCD also. I've been with my first and only boyfriend for a year, and I love him very much. However there has recently been some teasing about me and another guy at school, and it's sent my mind into overdrive. I have myself convinced that I'm going to fall for this other guy at school and fall out of love with my boyfriend. Or i'm worrying that I already have feelings and I'm in denial. I know losing my boyfriend would tear me apart, something that would take me strength that I don't think I have to overcome. I have many irrational fears, that my therapist and I have discovered are based around Loss. I had many family bereavements, lost ALL of my hair due to alopecia universalis (i now wear a wig) and my parents got divorced, all in the space of 2 years. And my therapist suggested that loss is one of my biggest fears because of this, this is true. But I just need some advice, I just can't control my emotions or my tears, I keep breaking down and having panic attacks. Please help.

[PolarBear]

Hi Grace. Welcome to the forum.

First I'll tell you to give yourself a break. You've had a number of real life stressful situations to deal with in the past couple of years. We know that stress makes OCD worse, so it's no wonder you're in a pickle right now.

You're in therapy, which is great. That will help you out tremendously. Beyond that, learn to take care of yourself. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, that you exercise, look into relaxation therapy and eat properly. All these little things can help you cope with your disorder.

[Guest gracelouise123]

Thank you so much for replying PolarBear. It's really helped. Thanks for the welcome! I've never heard of relaxation therapy before, I'll have to look into it! Certainly sounds promising. I feel that the CBT is definitely helping, but it's early days yet. This is only the beginning, and I guess I have to get worse before I can get better. Because I have to face it, instead of running away from it. But again thank you for replying, it means more than you think

[Symps07]

Hi Grace,

I'm glad to hear that you are in therapy & are making progress! I'm sure you'll see many more improvements in the future! :original:

I like the way you acknowledge they'll be rough times ahead as well & that you have to face up to them, OCD is really difficult to get to grips with at times, & sometimes I think everyone feels like giving up, but when you remind yourself it is 'just' OCD, remind yourself how far you have come & make the choice to keep going forward, then I think they can be some of the moments when you can really loosen OCD's grip on you!

I hope you find this forum & site useful & feel free to join in :original:

Regards

Symps

Edited February 24, 2015 by Symps07

[Guest gracelouise123]

Hey there Symps07! Thank you for the warm welcome! And yes I guess facing your obsessions is the scariest thing, but what stops them from occuring! It's such a vicious circle. But hey, I know with a positive attitude I have a clear chance of recovering and living in peace with OCD. I'll definitely be using this site, not just for the benefit of myself but for others too. I really hope others take my advice and my experiences as support, as giving support is just as important. Thanks again for the reply.

[Symps07]

I don't think you can stop intrusive thoughts, after all, the way it was explained to me is, that everyone gets intrusive thoughts, so to stop them altogether would be unnatural. The point is, to remove the meaning we attach to those thoughts & stop them from becoming an obsession. This is done, as I'm sure you'll have learnt or will learn in therapy, from stopping ourselves from performing compulsions & by gradually exposing ourselves to the obsessions. Therefore, a thought may still come, but instead of panicing & worrying about what it means, etc... You'll be able to just let it come & go without all the anxiety & obsessing :original:

[Guest gracelouise123]

Symps07, yes that's what I meant. The obsessions disappear however the natural occurance of instrusive thoughts will forever be present. However at this moment in time it's more about my boyfriend. Due to some childish teasing at school about me and another guy 'fancying' each other, it's sent my mind into absolute sprials and obsessions. As I said in the first post, I've experienced a lot of loss in my life. And I know that if I were to end up with this guy from school, I'd lose my current boyfriend and that makes me feel ill. The thought of losing someone close to me again makes me feel very uneasy and very dark. I just need to learn to accept that my relationship may end one day, and that yes it is a possibility that I may end up with the guy from school. But accepting that I might lose something so perfect and precious to me is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I'm finding it very distressing.