Hi

[Guest Nattters]

Hi everyone, I am new to this sort of thing and just wanted to hear other people stories about OCD as I am unsure if I am a sufferer. I get intrusive thoughts that can paralyse me for 10 minutes to over 8 hours, I have to carry out routines to protect those I love and care about and if things go wrong I believe and know it is my fault as I have not done a routine correctly. I cannot tell another person this face to face as otherwise they will also get hurt, either mentally or physically. Thanks for reading this ❤

[Symps07]

Hi Natters,

Welcome to the forum! :original:

What you have described sounds very much like OCD & if you read many of the other posts on here I'm sure you will see many similarities between what you are going through & what other people are describing.

I take it from what you say about not being able to tell anyone this for fear of them getting hurt that you have yet to see your GP about it?

Whether it is OCD or another mental health issue, I would strongly recommend that you see your GP about it & describe what you are thinking & how it makes you fel, or if you can go straight to your local mental health service, even better.

If you are wanting to know more about OCD, take a look at the 'Learn about OCD' part on the main OCD UK website, it's really useful & there are also some 'Personal OCD Stories' you can read under the 'Your OCD' tab, you may also find these helpful.

Regards

Symps

[Guest Nattters]

Hi!

I haven't been to my GP yet because I dint want to believe I am ill, I don't think I'm ill, I feel like its normal to be like this. It is denying my school, social and work life and effects everyday choices! I just dont know what to do anymore.

This forum is a life saver ?

[Symps07]

That's the problem with OCD, it makes everything seem normal :-/

But with help you can begin to unravel all the illusions it puts up there :original:

[Guest Nattters]

HiSymps07,

Is there a way to get rid of OCD without going toa GP as I dont want anyone else to know, like school and home and work as I think it will effect their perception of me?

Thanks for being so helpful!

?

[Symps07]

I believe there are self help books you can use & obviously this forum for support & advice, but why would it be a bad thing for you family, school or work to be aware of your OCD? I know it can be daunting to tell people, but it's your prerogative how much you tell them, you don't have to go into all the 'gory' details.

[Guest Nattters]

Ok, that all sounds very useful, I will do a bit of research on this. I wouldn't want anyone fining out because they would react badly and probably think I was making it up and being dramatic and not let me go and do things that I enjoy. Everyone would treat me differently and I don't really want that, although at school I feel like I'm being rude and I think my teachers think I am a moody rude student when in fact I can barely talk to them due to being in a paralysed state, I dont think they would understand ?

[Symps07]

It's surprising how understanding people can be & I don't see why it would mean people would prevent you from doing the things you want to do?

When it comes to school, only your teachers need know anyway or maybe only your head or school councillor.

[Guest Nattters]

My family aren't that accepting about mental health I feel they would take it the wrong way. And I think my teachers would just smother me even though I am taking my alevels. It's so hard for people to understand the difficulties and intensity of each 'episode' Symps07, you have been so helpful, are you a sufferer?

[Symps07]

Unfortunetly, yes.

I am currently going through my second batch of therapy & I am on Citalopram. I find them both very useful & am also using the therapy to work my other issues, general anxiety & low mood.

Not that I would recommend hiding your problems from others, but could you not go into therapy without having to tell your parents or inform your school?

[Guest Nattters]

I could but I fear it going on my records as I feel it would effect future jobs and placements at uni as it would be there with mw for the rest of my life as it isn't something you can get rid of, also I think I would find it hard to go to weekly sessions without telling anyone. This whole ordeal goes round In circles.

How intense is the therapy? And is medication necessary? This is such a horrible thing to go through its so nqsty

[Symps07]

No, I'm afraid it's not the nicest of things to go through, that's why I would recommend therapy.

Therapy can be intense as at some point you have to confront your OCD, but your therapist will be there to support & advise you through it & you won't be thrown in the deep end, your therapist will usually grade your obsessions into a table, from those that cause you the least anxiety to those that cause you the most, & you will start on the one that cause you the least anxiety first & once you are able to deal with that one, you'll move up the table.

As for medication, that is entirely up to you whether you want to take it or not, personally, I find it helpful (as do many other people), but, it is your choice.

I can't see any reason whatsoever why having OCD would effect you getting a uni placement & as for jobs, surely there's less chance of it causing a problem if you are able to deal with it, than if you leave it & let it develop?

[Guest Nattters]

I'm thankful for this forum as it is helping me get through and talk and think about getting help, the therapy sounds very interesting and as for medication I am completely torn, I dont think I want medication as I dont think it would be a good idea.

I feel that if I was diagnosed I would be labelled and then this would restrict my opportunities in the future. But I dont know. The idea that I will be labelled for the rest of my life with this condition.

What was your experience like?

[Symps07]

My experiences are mainly positive, my boss's & work colleges know I have OCD, as I am currently having treatment on Friday mornings. They've been great about it & I don't get treated any differently, I actually went for an interview today, regarding volunteering as a befriender at the local hospital (I'm looking to going back into education, possible sociology) & the volunteer lady wasn't concerned about me having OCD, & I'll be working with patients in a hospital!

The only sticky point is with my dad, who is rather old fashioned & doesn't really understand mental health (or emotions really!), but he still asks me how I am, & my mum & friends are fine about it! :original:

Like I say, with medication, it's up to you. I find it makes my thoughts & moods more stable, more 'concrete', than without them.

At the end of the day if you've got OCD, you can either face up to it or try & hide away from it. But in my experience, it's less of an issue if you know how what your dealing with & to treat it & I don't think mental health is as much of a stigma than it used to be (although there's still away to go).

Edited March 3, 2015 by Symps07

[Guest Nattters]

I am similar to you family wise, they are all a bit backwards with their thinking and don't seem to understand mental health as an illness.

I am currently leaning towards going to my GP as it is becoming more difficult to handle but I dont know what I would say when booking an appointment or if it would be confidential as I am 16? Also I think, if I was diagnosed, I would struggle to go to therapy weekly as i have many other commitments.

The bottom line is I dont want to have these thoughts and rituals anymore as its effect my education etc. And I don't want to mess up my a levels die to something that could be sorted yet mentally I'm still in limbo about this as I dont want anyone to get hurt due to my actions.

Thanks for your consistent responses symps07 its really helpful and insightful to understand and be able to talk about mental health without being judged. ?

[Symps07]

No worries Natters, I'm happy to listen :original: & remember, whatever you decide, it's your choice.

As for the confidentiality side of things, I think now that you're sixteen, it'll just be between you & your GP/therapist, but you could always check, there maybe something online telling you about you rights, etc...

Also, my sessions have only been an hour a week (moving to fortnightly now) & the more you can get your OCD under control, the more you'll be able to free up your thoughts to concentrate on your studies :original:

[Guest Nattters]

Thank you, this is all very informative. I might look uo the rights as I'm curious to know about confidentiality. I still think that sessions would be difficult to go to, as I don't know where they would be held. ?