hana

so i guess nobody experience the same thing. i am not normal. thanks.

hi guys. it has been a long time since my last post. and here i am again. glad to meet you all back im not sure whether this is a type of anxiety or what, but im still worried. does anyone have red spots like petechiae that formed after scratching? in my case, sometimes the red spots also formed without scratching, but just one or two spots in a time, and it will disappear after two or three days. does anyone also experience this? is this really a symptoms of something bad? should i make blood test? i already made blood test around three years ago (because i was very worried abt my health during that time as some people say im pale), and the doctor said nothing is wrong with me, it's just i need to take supplement because my lack of iron. and as far as i know, blood test is supposed to be taken 1 time in every 5 years at most. what should i do? should i take the blood test again? will the doctor say i am overreacting just because four or five red spots in my body? but what if something is wrong? im too scared. i never realised the red spots before bc i dont take full attention in observing my skins. but last two weeks i just coincidentally saw the red spots and starting from that moment i constantly checking my whole body and getting anxious. i hate this feeling so much. what should i do? is it normal? or am i being weird? does anybody also experience this? help me please

what's popping guys. long time no see. how you guys doing? idk if anyone remember me but it doesn't really matter thought. i've been quite busy lately with my study. so it's quite seldom for me to visit this site. well actually it is me who prevent myself from visiting this site, yeah so that i can forget for a while that i had ocd. yeah it works. just for a while though. so here i again, sharing my problems. so, nowadays, the intrusive thoughts still come in, but the problem is, it's quite weird because i don't really do the compulsive stuff or feeling anxious like what i usually do. but what make the things worse is, i feel relax instead. can you imagine, feeling relax when the intrusive thought come. it's not really a comfortable feeling because the thoughts are still there, but every time i feel terrible because all the intrusive thoughts, i would feel to go straight to sleep, instead of doing compulsions. and yeah of course i will feel quite worse in the morning. am i becoming immune to the thought or what? am i in process in becoming normal or what? and ya know what, almost all my assumption actually happened this week. for example, i'll suddenly think that, "ouh maybe the test today would be cancelled". and ya know what? it's actually happened! i really don't like this situation. because what if my intrusive thoughts will actually become true like my assumption abt the test? i really don't like what people say abt sixth sense whatsoever. so we as students sometimes would do some activities such as camping and whatnot, but the thing is, usually we would feel very tired after doing such things, but i still feel energetic, when my friend would be sleeping for hours, and i actually never have been like this before! i dont feel tired when i should. and i don't think this as normal at all. and also, it's quite weird when i'm feeling slightly more happy than before. i mean, i got a new handphone, i got good result in exam etc but why am i having all this? people said that don't feel too happy otherwise something bad will happen. what if it's actually like that? what if my intrusive thought come true? i would prefer having the intrusive thoughts and doing all the compulsions, rather than feeling like this. thanks to anybody who reading this long but not so long post. i really need some advices rn. i'm okay but not really okay. i feel normal but i don't really feel normal.

Hey i just came back from vacation. It's quiet fun and all so i gotta escape from my depression for a while. As soon as i came back another new thought on health anxiety haunted me. This was started because of some triggers about a health condition (i dont even have courage to put the name of disease here, ocd sucks) and suddenly i feel cold all over the body, which is one of the simptoms (from google,of course). It's funny when i only feel the cold after the trigger. I am afraid and keep compulsing but im trying not to and just ignore the thought. Feel very awful, of course, but hey, let's be positive. (Lol my mind wouldn't let me to think positive, sadly it's just a sentence to comfort myself)

Hey guys. There's a saying that state, dreams may be signs of something. And because of this, im scared to dream because of on the next day I'll become so obsess about it and start doing compulsion. So i stay up late in order to get less sleep. However i think im getting more dream. What should i do? The more i try to prevent it, i think i dream more frequently. Any suggestion?

The trigger keep coming in everything I do. No matter if I'm watching tv, listening to music, reading newspaper, chatting to friend, there must be any words that are related to harm. I mean, it almost not like coincidences. How can it be coincidences if it keep coming in whatever i do?

The trigger keep coming in everything I do.

Have been wondering, have you ever feel like the obsessions feel different from before. Let's say, haven't been in obsessions for some time, and then when it occur again, the feeling is different. It feels much more real and I feel that I kinda agreeing it to happen. I try to believe it was OCD and avoid doing compulsion, or proscrastinate to do it but it feels like actually I just fed up and I'm actually agree for my obsession to occur, but I really don't want it to happen. So I make myself busy by listening to music or watching tv or exercising. I think the triggers keep coming even I actually avoid the cause of the triggers. Is this part of treatment or what? Or it shows that actually this is not OCD? Or actually I would never be cured? I don't think ERP is working for me, I feel worser then before. I don't even know what my compulsions anymore.

Have been wondering, have you ever feel like the obsessions feel different from before. Let's say, haven't been in obsessions for some time, and then when it occur again, the feeling is different. It feels much more real and I feel that I kinda agreeing it to happen. I try to believe it was OCD and avoid doing compulsion, or proscrastinate to do it but it feels like actually I just fed up and I'm actually agree for my obsession to occur, but I really don't want it to happen. So I make myself busy by listening to music or watching tv or exercising. I think the triggers keep coming even I actually avoid the cause of the triggers. Is this part of treatment or what? Or it shows that actually this is not OCD? Or actually I would never be cured? I don't think ERP is working for me, I feel worser then before. I don't even know what my compulsions anymore.

Thanks everyone. So today is my second day here and i'm still feeling terrible. And it keep increasing. A lot happened today. Hoping for the better tomorrow ):

Wow. I'm on anxiety right now and then i read this thread. I feel terrible ):

I kinda regretting my decision to come here tho ):

So today i'm going back in a place which is my greatest trigger, for my ocd treatment. So for the first day, i couldn't help but i feel like i lost with this trigger. I hope it'll get better tomorrow and so on. :/

if only being a cold turkey is easy... *sigh*

hey PB :original: thanks for your advice. i'll be working on it