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Guest liss6794

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Guest liss6794

I'm never really sure if this is related to OCD or not but basically I have a low tolerance level to coping with people. Like some of my friends or people I know irritate me so much that I can't bear to talk to them anymore so I ignore them which I feel really bad for. I just feel like people are always lying to me and I know some are cos I've caught them out on lies they've slipped up on. My relationship with my family has been a rocky one and especially an immediate family member who I recently became closer to but now all they do is complain to me and I'm dealing with my own issues and they don't seem to understand that they bring me into family problems and that it bothers me to the extent where I feel depressed all the time and don't want to do anything. I'm so tired of all this lying and other people's issues, its stressing me out so much. At the moment I'm basically pushing everyone away from me because I can't stand to take everyone else's problems as well as mine. I don't mean this to come across as selfish because I do help them out and support them and try to be the best listener I can but I just can't take it anymore. I also don't really have the balls to tell them that they bother me. They don't think about how I feel yet I'm always having to be there for them. I don't know what to do!

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Guest liss6794

How did you deal with it? I have a community mental health team but I haven't told them about this, we're just focusing on one thing at the minute and I'm never good at knowing when to bring up new problems so I just don't say anything about them at all. They don't ask how I am sometimes and just focus on the thing we're doing instead

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Guest lizinlondon

I found taking an SSRI helped. Also doing CBT with my therapist. Basically I am nourishing the relationships that help me get better and moving away from those that harm me. I am also trying to make new friends by going to social groups. If you are having therapy you need to discuss this problem with your therapist. It is really important because our relationships have a massive impact on our mental health.

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Guest liss6794

I take an antidepressant and an antipsychotic and have done for a while now yet nothing much has changed, things only seem to get worse or stay the same. I haven't been given the option of CBT with this team. Done it couple of times before but again nothing changed. I had advice from a friend about family but its hard to ignore them or shut them out because they are family and doesn't have anyone else but they don't understand how they impact on me - I'm totally stuck on what to do with it. I won't do anything like social groups as I get too anxious about meeting new people,I'm always quiet and don't talk much or at all. Thanks for sharing how you've dealt with your issue.

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Guest lizinlondon

Family will always be around and I guess we have to learn to manage them in small doses. There is nothing wrong if you don't want to see your family a lot, as they say you can't choose your family.

I would recommend you have some therapy to help you with how you relate to others. It helped me see what patterns of behaviour I kept repeating in cutting people off. I find it hard to trust people. Now I am working with my therapist to learn to trust people abit more - the thing that worked for me is to realise that rather than having to trust others, I have to learn to trust myself. If I can trust myself that I will be confident to handle myself in situations that I come across, then I don't have to trust everyone, I will know whatever happens I will be able to handle it. With this realisation I am starting to socialise again and testing things out - I also have social anxiety problems. Learning that you can cope in social situations will help you.

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Guest liss6794

Yeah I know what you mean with family. It all makes sense with what you're saying and I wish I had the confidence to speak up more so that I can solve or manage these issues. My therapist challenged me to do social things like going to the shop on my own or going to the gym on my own but I fear it too much with being around people I don't know and having to compete against intrusive thoughts. I felt a bit like they were throwing me in at the deep end and expecting me to do what they were saying and I feel like I've failed because I didn't do them. However once I told them I didn't do what they said, it has never been mentioned again so I also felt like they just gave up on me and I'm still at square one. I find it helpful to always be with people when I'm out and I guess that I've learnt to get used to that and now don't ever want to be on my own. I know that this is learnt behaviour and just needs to be unlearned but its easier said than done and I just don't feel able enough.

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I can relate to this as well. On a related note, is it possible for ocd to make you feel less affectionate? That's how I feel right now, and I'm not sure if I should attribute it to ocd. All I know is that it's damaging my relationships.

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Guest lizinlondon

Anxiety in any form and depression will make us less affectionate. They drain our emotional energy so we have less for affection. For this problem I pushed myself to be more social and affectionate and with time and taking small steps, my affectionate side came back.

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Guest lizinlondon

Yes this is what I did. I also watched romantic programmes on TV which helped too. But yes making some kind of initial contact is a start and will lead to more.

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Guest nervous

Relationship struggles just seem to come with ocd and it makes sense why. Our obsessions keep us stuck in a certain mind state that others don't understand we are just not in the same place. I don't know about you but in my case OCD takes a fair bit of my mental focus leaving little left over for other things or other people and the interactions I do have are always strained. Try and take this time to plan your how to battle OCD and the relationships will most likely improve on their own.

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