anxiety off the scale

[Guest penny0305]

I am really struggling at the minute.my OCd and bdd are off the scale and it's completely.taking over my life.I'm trying to apply cbt but falling miserably.I can't stop grinding my Teeth and I am making.such a mess of them and I am.constantly obsessing over my hair not being right.I think I am just weak because I can't seem to delay the compulsions.they are just constant.I feel in a constant state of unbearable anxiety from morning till night.I'm at my wits end and just feel ill with it all.I don't know where to go from here.I feel like I've exhausted all avenues of help and nothing seems to work.I don't know how much longer I can go on with this and feel so alone.

[Falcontech]

Hi penny please don't think you are alone when you can come on here. I'm sorry to see you are feeling so anxious just now. Have you spoken to your GP? If you need to talk you are welcome to give me a message.

Edited July 28, 2014 by Falcontech

[IncesstantThoughts89]

Hi Penny

Your not alone sweety are you on medication? Why don't you try some relaxation excercises, they take practice but they do work! Keep your chin up! You can and will beat this, your just going through a rough patch, there are self help lines, there is even an OCD self help line you can use! I agree with Falcontech, have you been to see your GP, why don't you try again, tell them how much it's affecting you

xx

[legalseagull]

You're not weak Penny. I've noticed from your posts you've been struggling for a while and you're still fighting - not weak at all. I wish I knew how to help you. I agree with the others, you have to ask/demand more help from everywhere you can think of. Have you been in touch with Mind? Someone on another post said they'd been helpful to her. There's probably other charities in your area that doctors don't think to tell people about. Keep going Penny, you never know when something could happen to turn everything around for you.

[Guest penny0305]

I've been through all the mental health system here and feel worse than when I started.it's like a constant panic attack and I just can't.control my compulsions no matter how hard I try.I can't Sleep and the compulsions are from morning till night.my gp won't.do anything without the psychiatrist say so and he just leaves me on mirtazapine.I've been on them for two years and my OCd.is much worse than when I started them but because I can't tolerate ssris he says there's no alternative.I feel absolutely desperate.I'm doing so much damage to my Teeth but I just cannot stop grinding them.the more damage I do the more I grind to check them.it's a horrible vicious circle and I can't get out of it.I feel so desperate.my family are fed up with it and have just abandoned me.I can't take anymore

[Caramoole]

I've been on them for two years and my OCd.is much worse than when I started them

It begs the question then..."Why are you taking them?"

Medication is given to make you feel better, to improve the situation. If there is no benefit, or it makes you feel worse it seems pointless to continue to prescribe it. Why take a medication that does nothing beneficial for you.

I'm not suggesting you stop taking it now but I think it would be pertinent to ask the Doctor why take it at all if it has no positive impact. You may find you're actually better off without it. It may be worth discussing if and how you could come off it gradually.

Have you thought about contacting Ashley to see if he could help you to find some proper, effective, specialist OCD treatment?

Caramoole

[IncesstantThoughts89]

Hi Penny

You need to tell your doctor's, it's not working, you need better help. Be firm with them, my Dad always say's tell them how you really feel don't leave anything out. I know not all doctor's are great and try and fob you off, however give it a go and if not see if you have any MIND clinic's where you are, they are very helpful

x

[Guest penny0305]

I've been to the doctors today and told them how bad things are, how depressed and anxious I am and that I have lost.control of my OCd.IM scared I'm going insane, I had a Dentist appointment this morning to have a new mouthguard made. I told her how rough the backs of my teeth are and that I cannot stop grinding Them. She polished the backs of Them and said there was nothing really wrong with Them but they still feel really rough to me and I can't stop grinding them. I feel like I am losing touch with reality, my mum says the rough parts have Probably always been there, it's just that I'm noticing them now because im grinding them and that's not a normal thing to do. I don't know if that's true or not. My.gp agreed that if I was this bad after two years on mirtazapine then it wasn't working and she would speak to a senior partner and try and.come up with a plan for alternative meds.the problem is I've tried Prozac and.sertraline in the past and they made my anxiety much worse.I am seriously depressed as well as the OCd but just don't know what to do now. I wish I could erase the thoughts and compulsions from my brain.I see people on here making progress and resisting the compulsions but I feel a total failure because I can't resist.

[Guest penny0305]

I'm so scared.I'm meant to be going back to work in four weeks but I feel so bad in the morning I can't function.I feel physically ill and my compulsions are just out of.control.it's like a permanent panic attack.I can't stop grinding my teeth even though I know I'm making a mess of them.I just have to do it to check the rough parts are still there even though logically I know they're going to be the same and I'm just making it worse.I feel like I'm going out of my mind and the worry about work is making it worse.I need to work but I don't know how I can the state I'm in in the morning.it just feels totally hopeless now

[PolarBear]

Penny, you come here to the forum periodically and each time you tell us how bad your situation is. Each post echoes the post before. They are repeating the same thing.

What do you hope to accomplish by saying the same thing over and over? Sometimes you get words of encouragement. Sometimes you get advice. Then there's a break and you post the same thing again.

Nothing will change about your situation until you resolve to make it change.

Before anyone can even offer advice you set the stage for failure by saying you can't resist. You set it up so that no advice will work and you don't have to do the hard work to get better. That makes sure you stay stuck in exactly the place you are now.

You have to dig deep and find the resolve to get better. Somewhere within you is the power to overcome this disorder that has dragged you so far down. The will to beat this ******* disorder is within you. You just have to find it.

You know the way out is to stop grinding your teeth. It's a compulsion and it must stop. But you don't have to go cold turkey. It took time for OCD to ramp up to the level it is now and it will take time to loosen it's powerful grip.

You can start your journey with five minutes. Just five minutes. Set a timer for five minutes, sit quietly and force yourself to not grind.

You can't even fail at this. You don't fail if you try. If you grind before the timer dings, you try again. And again. Eventually you will make it to five minutes.

From that point it's a slow progression of increasing time periods. But you don't need to worry about that. To start it's just five minutes.

You have the power within you to do this. You work so hard now on behalf of the OCD. I'm asking you to take some of that energy and use it to work for yourself.

You can do this. Are you ready to start?

[Guest penny0305]

Im sorry. I won't post anymore.I am trying so hard not to Grind my teeth I can delay it for a bit but keep finding new rough areas which scares me.I feel so, alone and this, forums was the only place I, could talk to people.I guess I'm just not, as, strong,as other people

[Caramoole]

forums was the only place I, could talk to people.I guess I'm just not, as, strong,as other people

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Penny :hug: ....You're missing PB's point. You are as strong as other people but you have to start by stopping making statements to yourself like this.

If you constantly tell yourself "I can't do this", "I'm not as strong" "I'll never get over this".....you'll never even get off the starting blocks, you Kibosh yourself from the outset. Even minute changes like "I really struggle to..." is a plus.

There are changes you can make. One being repeated trips to the Dentist. You know that the dentist can't stop this, it's not about your teeth, it's about OCD....so that is an area you could start working on.

My.gp agreed that if I was this bad after two years on mirtazapine then it wasn't working and she would speak to a senior partner and try and.come up with a plan for alternative meds.the problem is I've tried Prozac and.sertraline in the past and they made my anxiety much worse

Again, you're looking to outside sources/solutions to make things better, that's understandable...but sometimes we have to consider that there perhaps isn't a pill to make this better. Some people are fortunate and will find some help from medication...for others like yourself (and me) they can make things a whole load worse as you've found.

Have you thought about contacting Ashley to see if he could help you to find some proper, effective, specialist OCD treatment?

You didn't answer this the other day. Is it something you would consider?

Everyone here is a sufferer and do understand the power and devastation caused by OCD. We all know the pain, the levels of intolerable anxiety....but we also know that sympathy and a holding hand isn't enough on its own.

Are you ready today to try what PB suggests? Every hour to be determined that for five minutes you will resist that urge to examine your teeth. You may not be able to control the overwhelming urge that comes over you BUT the decision to check is one you make, unlikely as it may seem it is within your control, it's the anxiety that it provokes that you don't like, you have to work at ways of getting through that.

Don't get mad at the forums Penny, get mad at this wretched condition that is ruining your life and start to defy it and beat it.

And as for that word CAN'T do your very best to try and change it, you'd be surprised how powerful it is at controlling us.

Caramoole

[Guest penny0305]

I'm not mad at forums, I'm mad at myself because I find it so hard to resist the compulsions.I had to go to the Dentist the other day because she called me in to have a new night guard made.believe me I hate going.my mum had to come to Even make. Sure I went. I just, feel weak because I find it so hard to resist checking the rough bits on my teeth and grinding them.sometimes it's overwhelming especially in the mornings. I am trying to leave longer in between grinding them but I always give in eventually and I desperately want to stop for good because it's so destructive. It's almost like a form of self harm.I think I am so worried and depresses about work because I have an occupational health assessment coming up and I know I need to make a decision about going back.I want to go back because I need the money but I feel.so ill with panic I don't know if I can.I just feel trapped with it and it's making my OCd worse.ill see what the doctor says Tomorrow but no tablets have helped me so far so it feels hopeless.I'm sorry for always being so negative.I just feel bogged down and utterly tired of it

[Caramoole]

I am trying to leave longer in between grinding them but I always give in eventually

Make it into a formal exposure plan. Write yourself a chart and actively every hour (or two hours even) decide that on the hour you will refuse to check your teeth in anyway for at least five minutes. No matter how much anxiety it provokes, all of us can survive five minutes. Do this every day, every hour and tick it off on a chart. Are you prepared to try that?

Quote

Have you thought about contacting Ashley to see if he could help you to find some proper, effective, specialist OCD treatment?

You didn't answer this the other day. Is it something you would consider?

[lovid]

Hi Penny.The fact that you are trying to leave longer before grinding them but always give in eventually rather than being a negative thing tells me that you have the capability to overcome this.Obviously you always give in eventually at the moment but the fact that you are consciously trying to delay is the key.The more you practise this the more you increase the ability your brain has to resist the checking.Keep doing it and constantly try to increase the time before you give in and your brain will learn to do it longer and longer until you lose the compulsions altogether.That is how it happened with me .How long can you go before you have to give in?I used to "promise" myself that I would check the following morning if I could only manage to get through the rest of the day until I could go to bed at night and fall asleep.This was only possible when I got a little better but eventually I found it was a very good compromise to help me extend the time.Don't ever feel alone.You aren't.xx

[Guest penny0305]

Hi.it seems to vary throughout the day.when I first wake up I find it pretty impossible not to.check and grind them for a couple of hours.I get frantic with panic and always seem to.find some new problem.it lessens in the afternoon and sometimes I can.go for an hour or so without.checking them. It gets bad again in the evenings. If my.bdd is bad it seems to make it much worse, like I'm diverting my worries onto my teeth. I have to go for an occupational health.assessment at work tomorrow.it was meant to be at the end of August but they rang today and.changed it to tomorrow which has increased my anxiety.my care coordinator was going to write a, letter for me to take explaining my OCd but there is no time now., just feel swamped with it all

[lovid]

Penny how did the occ health thing go?An hour is good.Could you make it an hour and a half do you think?