OCD and Social Anxiety

[Guest heartplace]

I'm aware that everyone experiences social anxiety from time to time. But I'm noticing in myself that I have it so bad I can't stand it most of the time. I'm not afraid to leave the house or anything like that, but when I'm working at my dad's business my anxiety worsens when I have to talk to a customer. It's almost unbearable when I'm talking to them. I end up tripping on my words and acting clumsy and my heart starts pounding, etc. Then when I'm done talking to the person I start kicking myself for how stupid I think I was when I was talking and trying to help them. It's humiliating. :/

My dad was diagnosed with SAD, but he has even worse social anxiety than I do. I have never been evaluated for it. Is it possible that this is just one of the quirks that comes with OCD? Being obsessed over not acting the way I think I should, or saying things the way I think I should, around people and then feeling humiliated beyond belief after everything is said and done? It's gotten to a point where I can't bring myself to even say hi to certain people. I walk by them, but I'm scared to death to say anything. And I won't go into certain places alone for fear of awkwardness or embarrassment. I have difficulty socializing with certain people (not everyone) unless someone I'm close to, like my sister, is also with me.

Edited July 29, 2014 by heartplace

[IncesstantThoughts89]

Hi Hearplace

It's possible that it could be a quirk of OCD however what thoughts/feelings do you get before talking to these people. Perhaps it's worth discussing it with your therapist or doctor?

x

[Guest heartplace]

Hi Hearplace

It's possible that it could be a quirk of OCD however what thoughts/feelings do you get before talking to these people. Perhaps it's worth discussing it with your therapist or doctor?

x

I feel an overwhelming sense of dread if I have to speak to someone I've been too shy to talk to. After a while I ease up a bit but before I start talking to them I feel very, very tense. I'm usually only like this with people who are in their late teens to early 30's. I'm 21.

[taurean]

Social anxiety isn't just an OCD thing of course.

A trained therapist should be able to unlock what is going on in your mind, and suggest a plan to tackle it - it features very much in anxiety self-help books for example.

I wish I could bottle what I have and send it to you - I have no such anxiety with social connections, but then I was an amateur singer performing in public from about the age of seven, then took an outside representative role - I suppose I never had an opportunity to form a phobia or fear with other people, there was no "learned response" which would trigger a phobia.

And I notice that with the youngsters working in our business - they have no fear of talking to the customers or insurers, because they've never experienced fear in their schooling and upbringing I suppose, or if they have it was quickly experienced then overcome - it both amazes and impresses me, but it must be in their background or upbringing, or perhaps in the screening when they are interviewed.

From what I have read in the self-help books, social anxiety is a treatable problem .

I suspect fear is undermining your confidence, but whether that is triggering an OCD response or a phobic/lack of confidence response I can't tell from here, not do I have the expertise to form an opinion.

Edited July 29, 2014 by taurean

[carlleo123]

I've had social anxiety all my life it used to be alot worse though, to be honest I may be on my own here but I think in some ways I understand why all different disorders have labels, but I think ocd, social phobia, agoraphobia and everything else are basically all related to the same thing, anxiety, it's all down to fear. If you could switch off the fear they'd all go, that's why I often wonder if they should all be treated in the same way, trouble is I don't think there is a treatment to switch the fear response off. Don't know if that makes any sense, I'm not very good at explaining what I mean

Edited July 29, 2014 by carlleo123

[PolarBear]

They are certainly related, carlleo. Some people with OCD avoid certain situations. So do people with social anxiety and agoraphobia. General anxiety disorder involves people who worry about a lot if things. Some people with OCD have many types of obsessions so they look similar.

All of those disorders can be treated with CBT. There is no way to turn the fear off but all involved can change the way they react to the fear.

Edited July 29, 2014 by PolarBear

[Guest jayjay89]

You also don't want to switch the fear response off for good - because then you would get hit by the next car going down the road as you tried to dart across lol.

[carlleo123]

True jayjay lol just the inappropriate fear might be better then

[Guest nicolam381318]

I've often wondered this too. I've never been particularly confident socially, except with my closest friends. I'm constantly worried about how I come across. It's not so much about whether people like me (in fact I tend to automatically assume that they won't) but more about whether people might misunderstand something I've said or written. It's my response to all this that makes me wonder whether it's OCD-related. I will replay the scenario over and over in my mind to check whether there is anything that could have been misunderstood. If it's a written exchange (email, Facebook etc.), I'll re-read my messages and any replies just to check that people have taken it the right way. It's worse if it's work-related, when these things have the potential to be used against you so readily. It's got to the point where I would prefer to avoid such exchanges, but that would just be avoidance and no help in the long run.

[gingerbreadgirl]

I have terrible anxiety round others and I try to treat it in the same way as ocd - I.e. face the feared situation and resist the urge to avoid it or analyse it etc. It's a tricky one to beat though x

[PolarBear]

Nicolam, yes that's OCD. The tip off is the checking after. It's a compulsion.

[Guest Azamour]

It is quite easy for them to be related. I suffer from social anxiety (although more so in the past than now) which causes me to obsess about my fears even more around social occasions. I will be anxious before social events and especially after them when I will obsess about things that have gone wrong. Things people said. Things I said. Social occasions cause my OCD to spike.

[PolarBear]

I had OCD induced social anxiety. It's difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone while simultaneously thinking about doing nasty things to them with a fork. Avoidance was my big compulsion.

[Guest heartplace]

Thanks for all the replies.

My social anxiety is so weird, though. Some days I will be scared to death to talk to anyone I don't know well, some days I'll feel a bit more comfortable. The part that remains constant is the fear of my peers. Sometimes my obsessions cause it, sometimes it just feels like plain social anxiety for no known cause other than fear of looking stupid/embarrassment. I go out in the ministry a few days a week and of course I talk to strangers all the time when I do that, but for some reason I'm even more scared when it's a customer at my dad's workplace I'm dealing with, or when I'm out shopping, etc. Sometimes I can't even talk to my friends because I need a ton of time to think about how I'm going to talk or act around them...I've had this problem for years, and I'm done with it. :/

[taurean]

Hi heartplace.

That is tough and so restrictive, I am sorry to hear this..

Look, I don't have experience in tackling social anxiety per se, but one thing I can observe - there are several issues fuelling your problem, not just one.

And from what I do know, there will pretty well always be some kind of fear underpinning the anxiety.

So perhaps if you break down your social anxiety by expanding a little more on those different features you mention above,and into individual "boxes" then a strategy can be put together to address each of them - are there about 3 - that's not too many.

Knowledge is power, and when we know what we are up against, and what is keeping that fear alive, it can be addressed, and improvements can be achieved..

[Guest heartplace]

Hi heartplace.

That is tough and so restrictive, I am sorry to hear this..

Look, I don't have experience in tackling social anxiety per se, but one thing I can observe - there are several issues fuelling your problem, not just one.

And from what I do know, there will pretty well always be some kind of fear underpinning the anxiety.

So perhaps if you break down your social anxiety by expanding a little more on those different features you mention above,and into individual "boxes" then a strategy can be put together to address each of them - are there about 3 - that's not too many.

Knowledge is power, and when we know what we are up against, and what is keeping that fear alive, it can be addressed, and improvements can be achieved..

I just had an aha moment...when it comes to work, I have a terrible fear of being dishonest in my work/making poor judgments in work. I don't know if that could subconsciously be in the back of my mind when talking to customers or not, but I know it's one of my worst fears to lie to people at work. Not just at work even, just in life in general. I think that makes me afraid to deal with people when working. When I'm volunteering in the ministry I'm not selling anything, so I feel better about talking to people then.

Edited July 31, 2014 by heartplace

[taurean]

I think you have it there. That's likely the source of the problem, and if you can apply the right OCD treatment approach to tackle that (irrational) fear, I would think you could overcome that problem.