How do you answer this type of spikes?

[worriedjohn]

My obsession is centered around an incidents 15 years ago where I fear that I have done a very bad sinful thing. I have collected some memories from this event which proves that I didn't do what I think. But my problem is that the memories of these evidences are becoming vague and foggy and I tend to doubt them. I begin to doubt "what if it is not a real memory and just a thought?". Now I have come to a point where my entire illness is centered around one event and I am just doubting whether it did happen or I am imagining it. OCD thought often come like a question that is whether memory of this event is true or just imagination? Now my question is how to answer this question? How other people having same type of problem do answer question like this thrown by OCD. I have noticed that answering the question with "may be it is true, may be false" keeps me ruminating also. Only technique that works is just mindfully watching the thought and let it extinct on its own. Do someone have any better idea?

[PolarBear]

The correct answer is maybe it did happen. However, in addition you must work to not ruminate. You have to almost force yourself to not ruminate and let the thought be.

[gingerbreadgirl]

I've had this type of OCD and, for me, it was my worst theme by far.

I wrestled with it for a long time and the only way I have learnt to move past it is to absolutely refuse to engage with it - every time I feel the urge to ruminate, analyse, go over it, I firmly tell myself 'no' and turn my attention to something else. It was painfully difficult in the beginning - absolutely terrifying in fact - but the more I did it the better it got. I'm pretty much over it now, but I still make sure never to dwell on it because I end up right back at the beginning. Good luck x

[Guest Sisyphus]

I've had this type of OCD and, for me, it was my worst theme by far.

I wrestled with it for a long time and the only way I have learnt to move past it is to absolutely refuse to engage with it - every time I feel the urge to ruminate, analyse, go over it, I firmly tell myself 'no' and turn my attention to something else. It was painfully difficult in the beginning - absolutely terrifying in fact - but the more I did it the better it got. I'm pretty much over it now, but I still make sure never to dwell on it because I end up right back at the beginning. Good luck x

Hey Gingerbreadgirl,

And do you find that after refusing to engage with the doubt for long enough, the reality behind it starts to naturally emerge?

It's not a loaded question either - I genuinely don't know the answer - but am curious if this happens with such things.

Cheers

David.

[gingerbreadgirl]

hi David

No that's a great question - to be perfectly honest, I still know that if I engaged with it it would come back. I'm still not in a position where I can think "wow, how ridiculous that was" but I am able to get on with my life. I live in hope that one day I will be able to scoff at how ridiculous it is, but in the meantime the most important thing is that I can enjoy my life without being constantly obsessed with it x

[Guest Sisyphus]

hi David

No that's a great question - to be perfectly honest, I still know that if I engaged with it it would come back. I'm still not in a position where I can think "wow, how ridiculous that was" but I am able to get on with my life. I live in hope that one day I will be able to scoff at how ridiculous it is, but in the meantime the most important thing is that I can enjoy my life without being constantly obsessed with it x

That's a good honest answer. Much appreciated. I kind of feel the need to know this in order to know how to go about some of these exposures I'll have to do. Cos they're f##### hard and scary man!

Like coming off heroin, or smoking (or rollerblading for Father Ted fans).

So I find I need to take a run at it from a certain angle, a cetain mindset.

And you know what, I can;t speak from a place of experience, but from everything I've read about how OCD/neural plasticity works, I think you will get to that point if you continue to blank the obsessions - it's kinda inevitable whether you like it or not. So keep doing what you're doing.

x

[PolarBear]

I am of the mindset that you may never know in these types of situations. It is the quest to know that gets people in trouble.

[Guest Sisyphus]

I am of the mindset that you may never know in these types of situations. It is the quest to know that gets people in trouble.

POW - right in the kisser!

My nemesis - Polar Bear, always lurking in the shadows, ready to strike if I stray from the path.

You've seriously got to sort that Dirty Harry photo out man.

[Guest jayjay89]

For me, I had to accept that I may not ever know for sure - it sucks and it's an aweful feeling to start with, but eventually it worked out.

Good luck!

[worriedjohn]

So I need to answer it like that "may be the bad thing what I fear have happened"? Or the thing which cancels out the chance of the bad thing being happened may have happened? (Sorry if it is a bit complicated scenario). Let's make it clear with an example. Like I might have hurt Bobby. Or Joe might have said "Bpbby is alright, you did not hurt him." The second event proves that I did not hurt Bobby. I tend to doubt second event "did Joe really said that? or I am imagining it?...."

[Guest jayjay89]

You have to accept the bad thing might have happened - in your scenario you are getting reassurance, which probably worked for you in the past, but the more you use it the less effective it is :/