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OCD dreams are terrifying me to death


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My OCD focuses on sexual obsessions and I am constantly harassed with intrusive thoughts about doing sexual acts with the gender I do not like, or more specifically their genitalia.

I've been doing good with the intrusive thoughts but the dreams are something that I struggle with.

Sometimes concerning my OCD I have these dreams where I am like half asleep and am "controlling" but not completely in control of my dreams. I'm not sure what is going on in my head but I hypothesize that since I am half asleep I must be getting intrusive thoughts and dreaming them but the problem is I feel like I am choosing to dream those sick things.

I just took a nap and this happened again (usually I have these dreams during naps) and basically it was like my mind asked me to choose what I wanted to dream about: the good sexual act, or the bad and for god knows what reason I chose the bad because apparently in my dream I thought the good was boring.

I'm so freaked out because now I'm worried maybe I have some secret "true" personality that only comes out in my dreams and enjoys engaging in these behaviors?

I feel like this is all my fault on why my OCD attacks me with the sexual questions about male genitalia. I used to masturbate using penetration from an item and my brain feels like it cannot understand that just because I could experience pleasure from the toy doesn't mean I want to with men, I don't.

I'm just mortified that I act these things out in dreams I mean it's just terrifying to me. Sorry I have another active post on here but I want to rant and am stressed out.

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Guest Sisyphus

Hi NicoletteCB,

I don't really have the answer but it struck me how similar this was to a conversation I was having with Bo in another thread.:

http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=63710&page=3

We were talking about dreams and Bo said something about how in China they consider bad dreams a good thing. And I went onto say:

"That's interesting about bad dreams being considered good. This is interesting to me because they say the drug DMT is heavily involved in dreaming and taking DMT can result in good or bad hallucinations. When taking DMT in the form of ayahuasca they argue that the bad things you experience are in fact good for you because they are getting you to face and conquer your worst fears. Like an exposure.

I don't know if it's true, but some people seem to get over fears this way."

Now I don't really know if there's anything to all that, but it just occurred to me maybe your subconscious mind is using the DMT trip of your dreams to expose you to something you fear/dread to partially heal the fear maybe? It's a bit out there I know but it's just an idea.

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Guest OCDChineseFighter

Dreams are reflections of the thoughts we had in the day time even it's just a fleeting one. Dream is just not real! don't take it seriously! Take some deep breath and try not to slough desperately off it. Instead, paying less or no attention lets those thoughts slough you off gradually.

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Thanks guys, I guess I should regard intrusive dreams like intrusive thoughts and just let it go since dreams are just dreams. Good news is I've moved on from it, I should have waited for my panic to subside before making a the post but the dream had really freaked me out.

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