Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I have been doing my best to keep myself busy and distracted. I am even in a relationship now and that helps a lot too. However, my POCD doesn't seem to want me to be happy. Again, I felt like I wanted to be with children or that I'm attracted to them, only this time I felt no anxiety at all and did not seek reassurance. Now I feel like I can actually capable or that I can carry my thoughts out. What is this? It's like, I'm hoping to be afraid. Link to comment
rchippex Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) I had something very similar a few weeks back where I noticed I was coping well with my harm thoughts and they didn't really scare me any more. Of course I couldn't just let go and I ended up questioning more and more and ended up back in severe anxiety again. I wish I had just let go and looked outward instead of continuing to inspect what was going on in my mind. All I can say to you is if you are able to then let go. Trust yourself and trust that you are just bored of the thoughts now and that they don't scare you because you know they are unfounded irrational thoughts. If you keep picking at the thread then you will inevitably end up tangled up in thoughts again. There needs to come a point where you start ignoring the intrusive doubt or the wheels of obsession will just keep on turning. Edited January 12, 2015 by rchippex Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I had something very similar a few weeks back where I noticed I was coping well with my harm thoughts and they didn't really scare me any more. Of course I couldn't just let go and I ended up questioning more and more and ended up back in severe anxiety again. I wish I had just let go and looked outward instead of continuing to inspect what was going on in my mind. All I can say to you is if you are able to then let go. Trust yourself and trust that you are just bored of the thoughts now and that they don't scare you because you know they are unfounded irrational thoughts. If you keep picking at the thread then you will inevitably end up tangled up in thoughts again. There needs to come a point where you start ignoring the intrusive doubt or the wheels of obsession will just keep on turning. It's just that I'm afraid I was okay with being attracted to kids and I can't seem to let go of that doubt... Link to comment
rchippex Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 It's just that I'm afraid I was okay with being attracted to kids and I can't seem to let go of that doubt... I don't want to reassure but I have recently done the same thing on more than one occassion. I couldn't let go of the doubt after I got over fearing the images and urges etc and guess where it led me. Label the doubt thoughts as just your OCD and refocus. Trust yourself. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is just more of the same, OCD9. You've been through this before. It's still all OCD and you should carry on the way you know. Resist your compulsions. Keep moving forward. Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is just more of the same, OCD9. You've been through this before. It's still all OCD and you should carry on the way you know. Resist your compulsions. Keep moving forward. So OCD can really do this? So without fueling my OCD, why does this happen? And why can't I see it as progress because many people tell me its's a sign of recovery. And I'm afraid I was okay with being attracted to kids and that I wanted to act on the thoughts. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 So OCD can really do this? So without fueling my OCD, why does this happen? And why can't I see it as progress because many people tell me its's a sign of recovery. And I'm afraid I was okay with being attracted to kids and that I wanted to act on the thoughts. You've repeated the last line above tons of times. That's a sign of rumination. Watch it. Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 You've repeated the last line above tons of times. That's a sign of rumination. Watch it. You are right. It's just so hard. I'm just afraid I was okay with being attracted to kids and felt no anxiety at all :/ Link to comment
Caramoole Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The lack of anxiety is something many feel, they feel the anxiety "proves" that they are repulsed by their thoughts. It actually shows that you're improving and is called habituation.......you're dealing with the thoughts more effectively. Keep going and don't slip into reassurance seeking Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The lack of anxiety is something many feel, they feel the anxiety "proves" that they are repulsed by their thoughts. It actually shows that you're improving and is called habituation.......you're dealing with the thoughts more effectively. Keep going and don't slip into reassurance seeking That's right, I take anxiety as a sign that I am repulsed by the thoughts and now that I felt like I was attracted to the kid and felt no anxiety at all and felt no urge to seek reassurance, I was left feeling like I was okay with being attracted to kids and that I could actually act out on this. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Well you've have the answer now but it will only be once. Now you have to work on this next phase and resist to ask this question every time it concerns you Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Well you've have the answer now but it will only be once. Now you have to work on this next phase and resist to ask this question every time it concerns you I'm trying my best not to care and just let them be there even though it feels so real like there really is an attraction and this time it feels stronger than ever. Not to mention, feeling no anxiety at all while feeling like I was attracted to kids a few days ago which in turn, made me feel like I was okay with it. But I'll try to dismiss it all. It's so hard because everything feels so real and now I'm just confused because I don't know what I want. Link to comment
Guest OCDsufferer9 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This makes me afraid because I get feelings like I want to be with them or do those inappropriate things and it feels like I really do want to do them, like they're coming from the heart and I'm just denying them. It's like, I want them. What does this say? Should I treat it as OCD as well? Link to comment
OCDCanuck Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 We've been through this before. You know what you should do...what you need to do. Link to comment
Guest bigkeefer Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 (edited) Hi 9, This is the next stage: you're following advice and doing what will eventually kill the Imp (OCD): it's working, so you're not ruminating on the fear (thus not generating more fear): so now you're not getting anxious over it at all (which is good); BUT now the Imp (OCD) throws at you: "Geez! So you're really not worried about this? What's wrong with you??!" It's still the Imp; it's still OCD. It's just another way it's trying to get you to keep "picking at the threads". Picking at them will lead back to anxiety, and ultimately back to square one. Don't listen to it. Don't pick Keep doing what you did in the first stages: ignore it (the worry about not feeling anxiety); don't ruminate on it and refocus on more positive stuff instead. Easier said than done of course, but stick with it mate! Next stop, you won't be having the thoughts at all (of if you do they will disappear as quickly as they come!). You're doing it: you're winning over the Imp. This is the final battle (it's getting desperate!); don't retreat now... Edited January 15, 2015 by bigkeefer Link to comment
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