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Really upset and distressed, feel there's no way out


Guest cpm83

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Hi I'm currently a 3rd student about to move from Hampshire to London for my third year. I think of myself as a decent person (which I know I am) with a good social life. I have never been medically diagnosed with OCD, but have been to the doctor a few occasions about OCD and Anxiety, and also seen a health worker.

But looking back in my past and to my current state, I think (or I know) I have symptoms, and that's being humble. I just don't want to say I have it when I haven't been diagnosed, but I feel confident in saying I have symptoms at the least.

I.e. Locking doors, making sure the doors locked (once locked, pressing the door handle ten times), and I have a thing with looking up at lamposts when I walk down the street. Lastly when I'm just about to come out the bathroom (either at home or public), I look at the mirror/look away five times.

But lately I've been really getting upset, I've developed a mental obsession about 'first person pov', I've only just got it over the past five days or so but it's hell! I don't feel I have anyone because we all look through a camera lense so to speak, I know it sounds really weird but it's like 'we're all human and nobody can cure me, because we all look through a camera lense'. Therefore I've completely lost any faith in humanity, but I never used to think about that nonsense and could live a normal life, even with the checking door symptoms etc. please help, I'm really worried that someone else will look at this and start obsessively thinking about the same nonsense and go through this hell, I'm taking the chance, help :'(

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Cpm this is all OCD and OCD-UK can help you via the main website shop there and the forums And we have lots of student forum members.

Your concern you might corrupt others is really an exagerrated OCD fear but with a little of your true core caring values coming out.

Welcome this is a good place to come for support.

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Hi CPM, sorry to hear you have been hit so hard by this right now. OCD is a frustrating and hurtful condition, but there are effective treatments that will help you get past what you are dealing with right now. I second Taureans suggestion of looking at the support information on the main OCD-UK site, it really is fantastic stuff and I think people in the UK are particularly lucky that they have the options available to them that they do through charities like this and the NHS.

As to your latest concern, one of the ways in which OCD affects us is causing us to feel that certain things are "not right". This can be a vague feeling in general or more specific about certain things. You've seen this in needing to look at a mirror a certain number of times to 'feel right" and now about how you (and others) perceive the world. One of the things you will learn as you begin your recovery from OCD is that its possible to move forward and live your life even when you experience these feelings of "not right"ness. It will take perseverance and active choice on your part, but like making yourself exercise regularly to get in shape, if you do the work, you'll be able to get your life back from OCD. Even though it feels awful now, there is hope, so hang in there!


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