not sure what way to turn

[Guest gary46]

im really suffering right now with ruminating and obsessive thoughts about so many diffrent things. it started when i started going to a spiritual place. i started off ok until i started getting deep into there practises. i felt as though i had to do the rituals, meditations and say certain stuff to keep myself well, otherwise i would suffer immensely. it got worse and worse as i moved onto other religious groups and started following these practises intensely. i read and read and trolled thru internet about everything and anything spiritually.it went into buddism and now christian stuff that i have to recite ie prayers i had to say, talking to god etc. its been driving me crazy when i stop one thing i move onto another thing obsessions with breathing practises, mindfulness.

i keep thinking one thing will help when its time for me to leave this body. i want to knock it all on the head but theres one voice saying dont do that some of its good for you and another voice saying give it all up its not doing you any good at all.(the voice of reason lol) when i give one thing up my mind wanders to the next thing.

ive done cbt before but for general mental illness before not ocd(didnt really help) and im just been upped from 20mg citrolopram to 30mg 2 days ago. my wife is so supportive but she cant help me any more with this condition.

i so stuck atm with this. does this sound like ocd and what way to go from here?

many thanks gaz

Edited March 26, 2015 by gary46

[Guest TheBiggerPicture]

Sounds exactly like OCD to me, as soon as you accomplish something and finally get over a certain ritual things get so much better, until it starts all over again about something else, something that never even used to be an issue at all!

I know my reply does not bring a solution but try to stay positive and work through it, I'm sure someone with a little more knowledge will give you a better response lol.

Take care.

[Guest Petit4]

I definitely notice religious and spiritual practices can easily turn into OCD behavior in those of us who are susceptible. If it feels obsessive, it is, and doing more of it or switching rituals won't help. It doesn't mean we can't be spiritual, but we have to know we fall into that very easily.

Petit4

Edited March 26, 2015 by Petit4

[PolarBear]

Some religious people and even groups can be overly obsessive about their practices to start with. Throw in OCD and you can have a boat load of trouble. What you have talked about does sound like OCD, especially the thought that you have to get your prayers/whatever right or something bad will happen.

Have you thought about seeking professional help for this, gary?

By the way, welcome to the forum.

[Guest gary46]

thank you for your responses much appreciated today i have started knocking all the religious and spiritual things out of my life as i think this is the only way for me now. i will also seek some sort of help from councelling and keep tabs on my medication to see if i need to go upto 40mg in the future. i wll try and sort myself a hobby to think about also. just have to be on guard against it goin onto something else in my life. best regards gaz