Melanie

I have to admit that I feel angry towards my doctor as well... How long did it take you to shake off the withdrawal symptoms? Are you medecin free now? I’m nog planning on going cold turkey... I’m considering to let the pharmacist make capsules of 19 mg... 18 mg.... etc.... my plan would be to medecin free in two years or so... thanks for your reply

Hey i could have replied on your post instead of creating a nee thread.. i’m having the same doubts... wish you all the best

Hi there I haven’t been posting in a while because, frankly, I have been doing great lately. That is exactly why I am considering going off meds. I have been taking Paroxetine aka Seroxat aka Paxil 20 Mg for almost 11 years now, mainly for anxiety, obsessive worrying and depression. I had suffered two major depressive episodes before my GP prescribed the meds. I chose not to read the info. I was in a position that my anxiety could have a major influence on my professional career. Although I had always been against ‘Happiness Pills’... I decided to start popping the pills. I hadn’t read about the side effects, so i assumed that the intense panic attacks were part of the illness, not the drug... I slowly got better... it took me six months to shake off the deepest anxiety and depression. I thanked God for the meds and took up my life again... in my mind the idea that the pills would prevent me getting in such a bad place as I had been slowly grew... everytime I thought about quiting, I almost immediately decided not to... Hey, why change a winning team.... eight years later, 2013... bang!!!! Depression was back with a vengeance. I went to see a therapist, who turned out to be a lovely, caring person... I probably owe her my life.... The GP put me on a higher dose. I was sceptical, but decided to take the higher dose. I was at the end of my wits and would have done anything to sooth the devastating pain inside. But in the mean time I had read about Paroxetine... about the side effects... I wanted to know if there were any health risks involved in long time use of the drug etc.... after the first 30mg pill, I knew immediately that I wouldn’t do that twice. My anxiety was immense. My heart went crazy and frankly... I almost did too. At 7 am I called my GP. I as in a horrible state. I hadn’t sleept at all. One panic attack followed the order. He actually ordered me to take a xanax immediately. I did and spent the rest of the day in a state between sleep and being awake. I have been overthinking many aspects of the meds over the years.... these were my conclusions - it took me six months to recover with the meds... before the meds, It took me 6 months as well. - the depression reoccured after eight years... without meds... every three years...one could say that the meds did that or one could say that the thought of taking the meds created a placebo effect. - I have come to understand that I really do suffer from side effects. But I never blamed the meds because I had never had the courage to look them up. E.g night sweats, nightmares, hypnagogia, being hyper active, difficulties to concentrate and forgetfullness etc... - I do not experience any benefits from the drug anymore, but I do have withdrawal symptoms when I forget a dose. Head zaps (especially when I turn my eyes or my head), agitation, elevated heart rate, easily startled, ..... in short: let’s stop taking this.... I wish it were that easy. The truth is: i’ m scared. I read many articles on how difficult it is to quit. About all the horrible withdrawal symptoms .I am afraid that by disturbing the balance in my brain, I Will cause some sort of permanent damage mentally or physically. On the other hand... I don’t want to be on meds forever. Is this who I really am or is this me just because the pills make me like this? Have I done things which I wouldn’t have done without the meds (they take away your inhibitions to a certain extent). anyway: i’m very much aware that quitting the meds must be my decision and I definitely need medical assistence in the process. I am just looking for people who understand, who experienced the same and who came off the drug succesfully, without horrifying withdrawal symptoms. thanks

Hi inneedofyou My therapist performs talk therapy, but her approach contains many elements of cbt. I haven't Done erp, so i can't help you with that. I think It's very important to feel a connection with Tour therapist... So that you trust him or her completely. Without that it's very hard to open up completely.... I wish you all the luck....

Hello It has been quite a while since I have posted or read things on the forum. That is, in my opinion, a good sign. It means that I am keeping busy and enjoying life. It means I'm doing well at the moment. But now and again I remember how much the people on this forum have meant to me during darker and very dark days. I will never forget the supporting words and great pieces of advice I received from you guys. So first of all: thanks for that. Second of all I would like to say that OCD (in many forms) has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and that I have experienced 4 major depressions so far during my relatively short lifetime.I'm growing more and more convinced that wrong thinking patterns and persistent OCD thoughts have caused these periods of suffering. It took me a long time to realize that part of my depressions was also the way I looked at things, the way I thought about myself and life. Before that I only felt a victim. bad things had happened to me, they made me and nothing could be done about it. Yeah surely I had heard of therapist, psychologist etc... but who needed them. I had my meds. Fortunately, my doctor recommended a therapist during my last depression. Slowly, she started opening my eyes. She unravelled and analysed my thought patterns, learned me how to look at things differently... in short... she made me grow as a person. She opened the door for me to have a look at myself deep inside.. she showed me a completely new perspective on things. On the other hand I have learned the hard way that the only one who can really help you, is you. With the help and the support of professionals, family and friends...OCD can become a thing of the past. Others can help you, listen to you, give you a shoulder to cry on, but the actual work has to been done by you yourself. It's not only about applying the pieces of advice and hope they will help. It's about accepting yourself and the situation you're in. STOP FIGHTING. It will only wear you out. Acceptance is the key. I wouldn't consider myself 'cured', but I'm starting to be able to control it... I'm in charge of my head.. not the impulses, the scary thoughts or the 'what ifs'. Mind you... there have been and there will always be challenging times. But I have learned and experienced that going on with your daily routine is the best way to go. Don't postpone things because you are not feeling ok, because you are scared or think you don't deserve happiness. Postpone the worrying and you'll see that if you postpone it long enough it loses it's importance. I used to (literally) go and sit alone in a corner to overthink my thoughts, I tried to reason them out. I tried to find answers on the internet. I relied upon this forum too much to answer questions that couldn't be answered at all. I was too focussed on trying to get better, trying to enjoy the simple things in life again, persuing happiness. I was living in my 'I need to cure this OCD -bubble' while the only thing I really had to do was step out of the bubble, be a participant of my own life, stop living in my head, stop looking for answers that were never to come, stop WASTING MY LIFE on fear, uncertainties and stress. Now I catch myself doing this: Whenever a nasty thought turns up, I simply think: "I'll worry about that later, now I have to do the dishes or concentrate on work. And then I simply forget about the nasty thought and its gone. I'm rewiring my brain....or have partly rewired it. Finally I would like to say that I'm not a doctor, nor a therapist and I can only say what worked for me. Eat healthy, stop smoking, exercise, reduce stress as much as possible and do what makes you happy. Be self confident. You are worth it. If I can get control over my OCD then so can you. REALLY, NEVER, EVER give up. Good luck to you all!

Nerds is of course wrong !!! Autocorrection on mobile. I obviously mean 'needs'

Hi there Paroxitine nerds more time to kick in. Give it about dix weeks or so...

No one?

Hi there. This is a very old thread, but I kinda reflects what happened to me during this weekend. I must confess that lately I have been under a lot of stress. I moved to another apartment with my boyfriend. Which is a huge change in my life, because I have always lived with my parents or alone. I never actually lived with a partner. At the time I had obsessions of relationships and that lasted up until now. Two weeks ago I noticed my obsessions on becoming psychotic came creeping back into my life. I caught myself analysing every small noise again. What was that noise? Where did it come from? Did I hear voices? When stress levels go up, hypnagogic hallucinations come back as well. Which adds of course fuel to the already existing fears. I constantly said to myself, you are a sane person.... You don't have delusions and you recognize your thoughts as your own. Last Sunday I was in bed trying to sleep. I think I was almost off when I heard: turn the volume down! It wasn't my boyfriend and afterwards I thought that I must have been dreaming. I fell asleep and in the morning I woke up. I decided to sleep a bit longer. Again, I had a similar experience. Between being awake and sleeping I heard: your not insane, the rest is.... I basically freaked out and said oh my god.... The tv is sending me messages and my thoughts are being put in my head. That's it!!! I have lost my sanity..... I'm going nuts..... I immediately e-mailed my therapist and she said I was getting in the clutches of anxiety again. That I was NOT going insane but that my brain is looking for evidence that I am. Ever since when I think something or do something I ask myself: did I decide this? Was this idea planted in my head? What if it is? Who can prove it's not. No of course they are your own thoughts. You don't think differently than you did yesterday... You are sane. Or maybe not? We assume that thinking is a process we control by ourselves? But is this necessarily true...? And then I get into the realms of philosophy, which scares me. Can anyone relate? It would be nice to hear.

Well Done!!!!!! Congratulations!!

Couldn't it be so that SSRI's contain a substance that causes people to have more appetite? Just a wild guess, but to my knowledge too much or wrong food causes weight gain. I've been on an SSRI for ten years now. My weight has remained the same, except during major depression episodes of which I have experienced four. I lost ten kilo's then because I couldn't eat. But I am happy to say: they're back ?

Oh my god, that was spot on!!!!! Nice video!!!

Hi Cub I know the feeling. Worrying is not a temporary phenomenon for me. I got used to a certain way of thinking. I have never known moments without worries. Mind you, the amount of stress involved varied enormously. There have been moments of annoying worries, slight worries and enormous Pure O worries. But I have always worried. I'm trying to adopt another way of thinking together with my therapist, but some habits are hard to break. But I keep working hard. Every day again and again. I do my utmost to resist the compulsions, to have a 'so what' attitude towards things. Even though bad moments are still a part of my life now and then, I am still convinced that this is the best way to tackle my issues. Slowly but certain the anxiety starts to subside. Good luck to you. Drastic life changes are hard, but not impossible.

I know this sounds hard, but get back in the saddle. It really is the only way. Keep distracted, keep busy, use the advice from your therapist etc...We all get relapses, but you will see that they will become less frequent and less intense if you keep working. NEVER GIVE UP.

Dear Phili We all know what a tight chest feels like..... We nearly all suffer from panick attacks from time to time with a long list of physical sensations. We do know very well how difficult breathing can be, how tight our muscles feel etc..... You launched several threads about this, most of them are closed by the mods. This means that all the necessary and useful advice has been given over and over and over and over again. I too had periods in which I wasn't coming outdoors because of fear. Agoraphobia can become very debilitating, but only if you LET IT BECOME DEBILITATING!!! Djeezes, I don't know what the weather is like in your country at the moment, but if it is as lovely as it is here then pleaaaaaase go outside... Make small challenges for yourself. Go out for five minutes today and tomorrow and gradually stay outside longer. DO STUFF. I also read the forum and post things now and then. I also have very difficult days. BUT THE ONLY WAY TO GET BETTER IS TO ENGAGE IN LIFE. I'm allowing myself half an hour on the forum now and then I continue with my daily business. Don't be stuck behind that computer. LIVE YOUR LIFE. You are constantly focussed on your mind and body because you have nothing else to do.... You will never hear me say that anxiety and OCD are easy to deal with. But the only one who can make your life worth while and who can cure you is you. But it works the other way around too. The only one who keeps you from enjoying life and tackling this problem is YOU. Start working NOW!! Look for things to do. Good luck