repeating over and over

[Guest sarah moore]

My son keeps making me, his dad and sister repeat phrases over and over .He says what we have just said or what he has just said then he asks us to say yes then he repeats the process again this can go on and on .it has got to the point where we cant have conversations and this is very stressful. He is exhausted as are we.He also has aspergers .CAMMS are not much help . Does anyone have any advice please xx

[Guest Dom75]

Hi Sarah so sorry to hear this, I can't give advice only empathy. Exhausting isn't it. My son asks us to reassure him constantly that his hands aren't dirty, even when he reassures himself he has to check that's ok and we have to say ok and he won't relent until we have done so. We were advised by CAMHs to "shift focus" when he is doing this. We are trying to ignore or play it down and then distract him onto something else. Too early to say if it's working yet and it may not work with your boy. Sorry CAMHs are not helping you much. Hope you find some good advice on here.

[PolarBear]

Hello Sarah. Repeating the words for/with him is involving yourselves in a compulsion. While your son may feel compelled to have it happen it doesn't stop. It keeps going and going.

The rule with OCD is to disengage yourself from assisting in compulsions. However, children are dealt with a little differently and I don't know how the aspergers would play into it.

How old is your son?

[Guest Sally44]

Is this something new? You say he has a diagnosis of Aspergers. Was his language development typical up to age 3 ie. talking at the same age as other children?

My son is on the autistic spectrum. He was not diagnosed Aspergers because his speech and language was delayed when younger. He has always repeated things he sees on TV sometimes immediately or days or weeks later. He can 'record in his head' whole DVDs.

Repeating things said from an autistic point of view is called echolalia.

If your child also has a diagnosis of OCD the repeating maybe a way he is using to soothe himself? Or a way he is trying to use to block out other thoughts? Or it could be a repetitive behaviour. Or a way of engaging other family members in a repetitive dialogue for reassurance. Or as suggested it could be an OCD compulsion.

As he has Aspergers can you ask him what the purpose is of repeating the phrases over and over? And can you give an example of what he is repeating and asking you to repeat?

[Guest sarah moore]

Hi thank you to yo all xxmy son is16and this repeating started beccoming a problem when he was 12 but it has got worse and worse camhs dont appear to know what to do as my son can become violent if we do not repeat the correctt words and in the right way for him .

[Guest sarah moore]

He makes us repeat yes to everything every thing we say or he says we have to say the correct amount of times until he is happy but he is never really happy as it continues on and on . We cant really talk as a family anymore .it really is exhausting and a strain xxx

[Guest worriedmum]

HI there,

I don't know much about aspergers but my son has/had OCD. He was diagnosed at 10 and is now 16 and OCD barely figures in his life these days, thanks to the CBT & support he received. I remember when he was younger, before his OCD diagnosis, he used to ask us to repeat things.... what we were going to do that day, where we were going, who with, instructions and so on. He'd even ask us in ways that would get us to repeat it without us even realising, even though deep down he knew the answer. I remember my mum telling me to turn the question back on him, rather than give him the answer. For example, 'what do YOU think is happening later' so he'd develop the confidence to trust his own answer or memory, rather than us having to reassure all the time. Although this was a few years before he was diagnosed with OCD, I think it was definitely related. He likes to be 100% sure and hates any uncertainty.

When he was diagnosed with OCD and this was something that reared its ugly head again (the constant questioning and repeating) we had a better idea of how to deal with it as he was being given CBT. We were encouraged (by the mental health nurse and psychiatrist) not to constantly reassure and answer his questions over and over. Now our son is pretty much free from his OCD he's able to explain to us that at the time he felt he NEEDED us to give the right answer or repeat or reassure... and once either I (or my hubby) would tell him what he wanted to hear, that it would make everything ok. But he realises now that it never made it ok... only for a short time he'd feel relief... but only until the next time. So the best thing in the long-term is to not give in and keep answering your son and repeating things... however, if he's violent I understand that you are put in a very difficult situation. Also if it's more related to his aspergers, I am not sure how that would be usually dealt with. Have CAMHS actually diagnosed OCD and are they offering him any CBT or treatment? Could you go back to your GP and ask for a referral elsewhere? As you say, you can't go on like this and help should be available to you.