rchippex

Thanks for the reply. Well on Sunday the feared consequence didn't happen. Neither has it today but I still feel very stuck with the thoughts and can't get any kind of certainty at all. I have been basically trying to totally cold turkey it though and I dont think that is helping. I know that is the OCD though. I have just sat down at work (I am self employed) and begun to write a heirarchy. What do you think? Is this the right kind of thing? I want to start tackling this before it gets worse because it occupies my mind almost all day and I need to start getting a handle on it. My fear is all based around going crazy or developing psychosis or schizophrenia hence the odd thoughts etc. I have had 3 assessments now by professionals (2 in a&e) who all say I have anxiety and OCD but still I can't shake this stuff. Thoughts/Images Thought of harming someone or myself as a result of my odd thoughts Thought of believing a weird thought that just pops up (imagining harming someone or them being a monster) Thought of believing something I have imagined (like if I imagine something behind me) Thought of believing a weird abstract thing Thought of believing something depressing Thought of being scared about seeing something that isn't there (imagining a shadow is shaped like someone) Thought of obsessing about myself too much and feeling unreal Fear of being paranoid Fears about losing touch with reality Fear that if I don't argue back to a thought then I may believe it Fear of not paying attention to my thoughts just in case I miss something bad Fear of having an image in my mind and believing it Triggers Talking to people Looking over my shoulder Playing on the Laptop Intrusive thought or image Not being aware of what I am thinking Rolling films at work Story time with Evelyn Sitting in the van Becoming aware of myself Shaving my head Doorway in peripheral vision Having a shower Exposure Ideas Imagine someone behind you Imagine something weird and don't try to argue against it Sit and allow any and all thoughts without trying to reassure myself that I dont think they are real etc Sit in the van for 30 minutes with no reassurance Sit with a doorway in peripheral vision for 30 minutes Play on the laptop for 1 hour Do something and keep bringing attention back to what you are doing instead of monitoring thoughts Have a shower and perform no reassurance or thought monitoring if possible - 15 minutes Hold a scary image in mind for as long as possible Agree with the idea that maybe I am crazy - last on the list! Goal To be able to have any thought without being scared of believing it. To get to theory B (my thoughts are not dangerous) and be back to normal

Thanks. I caved in today and have ended up reassuring myself online My anxiety was so extreme and I was worried that I was doing too much. I was worried that that level of anxiety wasn't normal and it didn't seem to be going down at all.

Hi all, So for the last 3 days I have been resisting my compulsions as much as possible when it comes to my intrusive thoughts. I have had a fear of going mad for a while now and so I keep thinking weird things and I have been doing my best to just let these things pop into my mind and then not do anything about them. The first day I tried this I was extremely anxious for most of the day. Then yesterday I had a better day but not perfect and still had to resist my compulsions a lot. Today I seem to be extremely anxious again. I am doing my best to just keep resisting the urge and anxiety to deal with these thoughts or try to argue against them etc but is it normal for the anxiety to be so extreme that it feels hard to function? Am I flooding myself too much? I don't have a heirarchy or anything because I find it very hard to choose something that doesnt scare me as much because all of my thoughts are weird and scary and I know they aren't true but yet the OCD makes me doubt and it really sends me spinning. I am really struggling with it today but I want more than anything to beat this OCD again as I have in the past. Thanks

Thanks both. I am going to have an assessment with them next week I think with a view to starting some ERP so I can overcome my obsessions.

Hi all, I was wondering if anybody has tried outpatient treatment for OCD from the priory? I have spoken to them at Altrincham about getting an assessment and then getting outpatient help from them but its not cheap and I want to see if anybody else has been helped by them or not. My current private therapist doesn't seem to be helping me so I am looking for another option. We aren't even doing ERP. Thanks

Thanks. Im not really sure of the cause but I did start taking fluoxetine 4 days ago and have found that it is making me feel seriously down and so the evenings feeling better could be to do with that too if there is a natural improvement in mood. The downs are so down though that I am considering asking my GP to take me off these and put me back on Clomipramine which I had a lot of success with a few years ago. I don't think I could cope with 2-4 weeks of feeling this down.

Yes maybe. Its something I've found from time to time that when I get home and have sat down for a while and relaxed in the evening that sometimes the anxiety just melts away and im left wondering what I was so anxious about earlier in the day. But then come morning it hits me like a ton of bricks again.

Whats odd though PB is i feel no anxiety right now. Granted I still wouldn't choose to think the thoughts but they don't seem to bother me even though they really did earlier in the day.

Hi all. I hope you are doing well. I wanted to ask a question about time of day relating to ocd. Something odd with me is usually after about 8pm if I am at home my overall anxiety generally drops and as a result the thoughts that were really causing me great distress during the day dont seem to bother me half as much. It makes me worry a little that its not ocd. Could it just be that I am in my safe place at home so the anxiety is naturally lower? Does anyone else experience this? In the morning it all kicks off again big time as soon as I wake up and my mind has had a chance to realise I'm awake. Thanks

I'm right with you on this John. PB is right. We need to let the thoughts pop in and then take it no further. Its much easier I find once the anxiety is lower. When its very high it can be very difficult. If we engage with them then we will just enter into the OCD cycle again.

Thanks PB. I know you are right of course. My anxiety just bluffs me into dealing with them. Im feeling calmer now and the thoughts don't have half the weight they did earlier. Ive really tried hard today to not add anything further after a thought.

Thanks PB. I did have a look this morning. Today has been a little better but I'm still catching myself checking for weird thoughts and of course my mind obliges every single time with weirder and weirder things. Its so frustrating and causes me a lot of distress. I am trying not to add anything to it after it has happened though but then I get scared that I'm crazy and believing absurd things if I don't argue with it somehow or check if I'm believing things.

I do see your point. My therapist said the same thing. I told him im terrified of believing weird things and he said I need to just allow them to roll on through but I get caught up really quickly and can't help but pay attention to them and freak myself out because I cant get certainty about it. Its so frustrating. Its like my mind just won't move onto anything else and I just scare myself more and more. I actually contacted a specialist ocd service this evening so I can start to take the fight back to this. I have looked into the chap who I hope to have sessions with and he seems to have a lot of experience treating ocd and is the medical director of the priory in my area so hopefully with his guidance I can make some progress. My current therapist isn't doing any ERP unless I ask for it and he doesn't assign me any homework or anything which I know is very important if I want to deal with this properly. It feels like I'm just treading water right now and really badly.

The problem is pb I tie myself up with statements like that and scare myself thinking what if I start to think they are etc. Im so scared of losing insight.

Thanks PB. Good to see you are still active here. You were a great contributor to my recovery last time with your helpful reminders. I struggle because the thoughts are so weird sometimes and I think to myself how can anyone have such a strange thought and then it's like I automatically check if I believed it instead of just letting it go.