Sexual obsession or worse

[Guest Caponnne]

i have not seen a doctor yet i have just looked up ocd online and found i had all the symptoms. I had a thing where i felt obsessed and paranoid about demons and had a scary urge to worship the devil which scared the sh*t out of me. When i was younger like 5 years old i was scared of the hulk (i know this sounds dumb) and i would not touch or look at anything green so i wouldnt turn into the hulk. Another thing is i would rub my tounge up against the roof of my mouth which was really unconfortable and made me look crazy in class. I would pick the skin in my underarms until the were red or pick the middle of my palms. I have had hocd it stopped once then came back 3 years later it has stopped now and turned sexual obsessions about horses which i do not understand. It doesnt happen all day like hocd or other ocd but when it happens I get an intense and disturbing gronial responses and it feels like i have to mastrubate and then i ejaculate and i hate it and it wont leave me alone. Is it because i dont want to get aroused this thing happens. And after it happens my regular sex drive goes away and now i cant enjoy mastrubating anymore. My dad told me he has ocd and my little brother used to pull his hair too. I told my parents i had ocd but not all the things im going through and i havent asked them to take me to a psycologist yet but i am considering it.

[dksea]

Hey Cap, welcome to the forums. Sex related anxieties are very common for people with OCD, though they are often hard to talk about. It sounds like you've taken some good steps already by talking to your parents and by being able to share some of your anxieties here, you should definitely be proud of yourself for both. I'm glad to hear that you are considering talking to a mental health professional, getting the right therapy can be a huge benefit. Hopefully you find the forums useful and encouraging!

[Guest Bobbie]

Hi Cap,

I have the same problem with sexually aggressive thoughts in my head. Mine revolve around my niece being sexually abused by myself or somebody else - I also have strong groinal reactions and masturbate almost as if it is a test. What is most frightening is just how creative my mind is and how quickly I climax when I think of these thoughts. Like you, my sex drive has also diminished as well. You are definitely not alone.

I have found that with the groinal sensations, I also feel the ball of anxiety in my stomach - do you get this as well?

The best thing to do is get some therapy and you are doing great by taking the first steps - talking about it with those close to you is a good way to feel like you are not carrying it all by yourself. It is a really difficult step to take, so well done! I hope you find this site helpful.

Please message me if you ever need to talk to someone.

Bobs