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Help.. anyone?


Guest Guinness

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Guest Guinness

Hello everyone

I am glad to see a support forum for OCD. I didn't know I have OCD until we bought a puppy for my son. Since then stress level has been sky high, I have been tearful, depressed and at times wishing for death. I make my son who is 12 wash his hands every time he's played with the puppy, every time before he eats or even drinks. I've been doing the same too, sometimes spending nearly 5 minutes washing and scrubbing my hands.

The hand washing is very mild compared to my intrusive thoughts - that I am not a good carer for the dog, we don't deserve him, I am going to cause harm to him etc. I have the same intrusive thoughts about my son when he was much younger but I managed to keep those at bay for a while now until this puppy came along in September. Since then, my life is back to hell. The puppy is just being a puppy, it's not his fault but sometimes I get so stressed that I imagine myself hurting him.

I am seriously considering giving the dog away (there is someone I know who is willing to take him on but she doesn't know my issues) but I feel so bad even thinking about it. Then my thoughts get worse and worse to extent that I wish I'm dead. I know I can't think like that because my partner and my son need me here. But it is agonizing. I don't want to be crying the whole time, at every little thing. My partner doesn't know how serious my OCD is and I am afraid he might think I'm making it up.

Please help. I don't know what to do. I have just signed up because I am desperate. I will find time to read up what's been going on in this forum, I know there are people who go through similar experience and perhaps I can find help reading other people's stories.

Thank you.

G

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Hi Guinness,

Welcome to the forum :thumb up:

Seems like you have contamination OCD. I've only had it in a very mild form (intrusive thoughts & rumination being my main). But it does seem a fairly common form of OCD.

Hope to see you getting involved on the forums, I'm sure you'll find it a big help, I would also recommend you take a look a the others sections on OCD UK to do with what is OCD & it's various types.

Regards,

Symps :original:

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Definitely sounds like OCD.

What you should know is that the thoughts you have of the dog, like not being worthy of caring for him, etc., are intrusive thoughts, otherwise known as obsessions. What you do after the obsessions, like going over it in your head, thinking about giving the dog away, are compulsions.

We perform compulsions in order to try and alleviate the distress that obsessions cause. Unfortunately, they don't work. They do work temporarily, but soon enough the obsessions come back and you end up stuck in an endless cycle. In fact, doing compulsions strengthens the obsessions and makes them come back stronger and more often.

You can't directly stop the obsessions. You can control the compulsions. That's what you need to do. You need to work on resisting and stopping compulsions. Basically, don't react when the obsessions appear. Don't give them any attention. Don't go over it in your head. Leave the thoughts alone. Let the thoughts appear, let them float around and don't react to them.

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Guest Guinness

Thanks Symps07. I think my contamination OCD is not as severe as my rumination and intrusive thoughts. It is comforting to know there are people out there who understand me.

Hi PolarBear, I am happy for you that you have now overcome your OCD. I wish the sufferers here will be able to over come it too. As for me, I managed to fight my intrusive thoughts (even though I didn't know about OCD back then) and I have coped with them very well in the past but now it's in my head all the time. I just can't shake it off :weep: Thanks for your advice. I'll remember it.

Some days, it is easy, some days I struggle :weep:

Thank you all.

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