Jump to content

has this ever happened to anyone?


Guest crazyymindddd

Recommended Posts

Guest crazyymindddd

literally today i was having a massive breakdown of anxiety. i read something on here and i felt it confirmed my fear etc tec.. anyway i was sat in a toilet for half an hour going over my little compulsion set i have werei tell myself its not real its just ocd. you know what you have to do. you need to accept the thoughts in. the only way to get over ocd is to do this etc etc.. but i get in a way were i almost have to say it word for word right,.. then i say nothing is going to have changed byyy 'this time' your not going to have admitted anything by 'this time' so thats it startinggg.. now.. nd i have to say it right i cant even explain.. anyway i kept going over it for about half an hour,. then had to leave the library and sit on a bench and finish going over it.. then since then iv not even had the energy to do it anymore.. iv literally just been staring at my computer screen down... not anxious just down and i feel like i know the worry is true etc etc and its just their..

i dont evenknow what to say right now,.. i just feel down and so unsure of anything i feel about anything. i feel drained. i just had a little cry. im not anxious right now.. just down and confused and lost... and that makes me feel because im not anxious im admitting the issue even more..

i honestly do not know what im meant to do.. has this ever happened to anyone else.. im worrying my meds are kickin in nd getin rid of anciety but the worrys are still their so that mkes them true etc etc...then iv never been diagnosed with ocd so now im thinkin what if its gad and i just am getin anxious because i dont want to admit the worry etc etc

someone please offer me some guidance.. im just in a pit right now and i feel like because iv opended this can of worms... i cant let go now.. 3 weeks its been the same worry.... ive not had a breakdown like this in over 2 years... now i just cant reshut this can..... everynight i wake uppp worrying... every morning its the worst.... a few times iv had a bit of clarity but right now i feel they wernt real etc

Link to comment
Guest crazyymindddd

and i try these tecnhiques given like accept its just ocd... i just end up repeating constantly in my head its ocd its ocd etc etc... nd then try and get a worry in so i can epxlain to myself what to do.... atm its all revolving around my gf.... iv had multiple worries in the past i.e being gay.... this 'rocd' in past relationships, worrying im a a pedophile, worrying iv sexually abused my cousin when im younger. i have to save messages in my phone everytime i drink because of fears il forget something and worry i cheated the list goes on.... this one is so stupid... their is no reason i would not want to me in my relationship. their are no arguments. nothing wrong. been togetehr 2 n a half years, stayed together 10 months while my gf went and studied in japan and stayed faithful. but its so stupid, everytime i see a good looking girl now i feel i cant look because i feel abd and anxious, i worry i dont find my gf attractive enought etc etc when we get in bed nd she takes her makeup off or when shes not all done up. the most annoying thing (and people have even said joking to me ) she is clearly out of my league when she is all done up which makes it even bloody stupider.... its just crazy.... and everytime im on my own every night i just wanna go and see her which makes the whole paradox even more stupid and irrational. i remember this time a week ago exactly.. i knew for a fact it was all ocd and i even wanted to save a message to remind myself.. but now it dont matter how hard i try i cant get that feeling of clarity back... i know its clearly obvious our brain can make us convince ourselves things but sometimes like before i sit here and im calm and i think wtf is going on... this cant be my mind just tricking me etc its absurd.. if i didnt suffer from this and someone else told me this id prob think hey... your clearly just in denial.. or your a looney. like its so stupid noone randomly gets one little thought from absoultelyy nothing after 2 n a half years of amazingness nd then has all these doubts. its absurd... i dont know if its cos my nan died recently and the fact my 4 years at univeristy and hers are coming to an end so its going to be a big life change that has set this off.. but i need some advie on what to do

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...