Introducing OCD to relations -

[Guest minimexicola]

Hello all,

I've been reading through a lot of the forum posts on here over the past few days and have finally read enough to know that this is a place I 'can' post something. I have had counselling for the past year and been advised that I have OCD - something I had wondered for a while. I then kept thinking, 'but do I have OCD because I can't stop thinking I have it? What if I don't have OCD?'. Then I realise that if I didn't have OCD, I would be able to pass that thought by and get on with my day.

Unfortunately, my obsessions are about relationships - I cannot stop the intrusive thoughts that I am not good enough and that I need to make sure people are happy with me to feel comfortable. 'What if I asked the wrong question? What if they took it badly? Does that mean they won't talk to me again? Is that why they haven't replied to my text message? Is that why they have only put 'x' instead of 'xx'?' and so on...

Most of the time, I can calm myself down; distract myself and focus on other things, keep busy, see friends, socialise and try to avoid things that stress me out. However, I am in a period where I cannot avoid the stress that makes my OCD worse. I am trying to finish my PhD thesis, while starting a new and very intense job, while maintaining a long distance relationship. I have moved home and it doesn't help that my parents 'don't believe' in OCD.

So I am asking for some advice:

1. How do you explain to relations and friends that you have this condition? I have passed leaflets on but my parents have little tolerance for 'mental issues'.

2. Does anyone have any good advice on how to break a cycle that starts a secondary cycle? I'm pretty confident I'm on an 8th cycle at the moment but it would nice to break it nonetheless.

3. Does it ever stop? Has anyone ever stopped their OCD?

Thanks,

Minimexicola

[Guest Sisyphus]

Hi Minimexicola,

Nice to meet you. Good name that.

I have moved home and it doesn't help that my parents 'don't believe' in OCD.

Welcome to my world. I'm estranged from my father who I strongly suspect has OCPD but anyway there's seriously no point trying to discuss it with him now.

I have historically got on very well with my mum, but I've been rather taken aback how she's blanked me on the OCD front. She won't enter into a discussion about it, and the only response I can get is "You never heard of it in my day". I'm trying to appreciate the attitudes to mental health back then and understand that it's not her fault, cos she's great in all other respects. I think it's like a "does not compute - ABORT ABORT ABORT" kind of scenario for her and maybe she's incapable of dealing with it. It's phenomenal how many attempts I've made, like a lamb to the slaughter, to bring it up with her and convince her it's a real thing, with books and doctors, but nothing registers.

I'm afraid I don't have the answers to the questions. For (1) I thought about buying each family member a copy of Brain Lock, but I dunno - maybe that's a bit of a big ask. Then there's movies that have been made like The Aviator or Dirty Filthy Love which give some idea of what OCD is like. Not As good as it Gets or What About Bob though! Hating those.

I don't understand what these cycles mean I'm afraid.

Sorry I'm not more help.

But welcome to this forum anyway,.

David.

Edited April 6, 2014 by Sisyphus

[Guest cassie]

Hi Minimexicola,

Welcome to the forum, i am new here also but i already get the feeling that this support site is going to make a difference to me for the better.

I cant offer much in the way of advice but i appreciate how difficult it is to make people understand, as im sure a lot of people here do.

I am very lucky, my husband is fantastic and although he does not really understand he tries so so hard which really helps because i no he is trying for me.

Unfortunately for me my mum never understood, i had a bit of a 'blow out' last November when i was visiting her, she then promptly rang my husband and left him a voice message saying i had mental problems and i needed help and she was not intrested as i was 'not right in the head'.

This has troubled me since but i have to try and move forward...

I have been reading the section on this website that tells you all about what OCD is, maybe it is as simple as asking them to visit the site and have a read, see if that helps them to understand without you having to put it in to words? The people that want to support you will make the effort to have a read if you ask them.

Wishing you all the best

Edited April 6, 2014 by cassie