Hi

[Guest flappergirl]

Hi,

I am a newbie (please be kind to me!!), and I think that I have OCD. I had a panic attack out of the blue before Christmas, and since then I have started to really obsess about things to the point where I am having anxiety most of the day. I am worried about contamination by blood/bodily fluids.

It started really suddenly when I thought I found a chip in my food with blood on (it was potato pigment), and then from there, I started worrying about finding blood or needles everywhere. I am washing my hands so much that they are chapped and have cuts (which I then worry will be infected by the blood of another person). I have started to wear gloves to wash up, and even to handle things I feel uneasy about (like shopping from supermarket, etc). I am constantly fearful of finding blood in food, and seem to have funny tastes in my mouth, which then prompts me to throw the food away. I have lost 2 stone since Christmas because of this.

Today, I freaked out after a heating engineer used my toilet. I worried he may have "contaminated" the loo, and so I cleaned it (wearing 2 pairs of gloves at once) about 5/6 times before I felt calmer. I had a shower. I bought a new loo seat (and cleaned that 3 times), and made everyone use the other toilet in the house. This is not normal and it is freaking me out how much control this OCD behaviour has on me.

I last saw the GP after Xmas and he referred me to counselling but I am still waiting. The more I wait, the more out of control I feel. I am going tomorrow to see GP and hope to talk things through. I don't want medication though.

Does anyone suffer from similar issues? How do you cope? Today's stresses (there were more episodes after the "toilet" but I could go on and on) have made me feel so sick that I can't eat/scared to eat. HELPPPPPPP!!!! xx

[Guest Sisyphus]

Hello Flappergirl,

Welcome to this forum.

First off, for some reason not that many people seem to check this "introduce yourself" forum(ironically) so you might find you get a better response re-posting on the main OCD forum. For what it's worth I never got a response to my first post on here! How rude?

Have you read the book Brain Lock? If not I reckon it might be a good investment of your time before your counselling starts. Knowledge is power and all that. It describes how the disorder works in the brain and gives real life examples of people who had it and some who got over it using the 4 step therapy detailed in the book - similar to what they do in CBT. And some of those cases involve contamination, excessive cleaning, so relevant to yourself.

I'm sorry for what you're going through - it's horrible - but hopefully you can take solace in people's similar experiences on here and maybe even get some good advice or knowledge.

All the best,

David.

Edited April 7, 2014 by Sisyphus

[legalseagull]

Hi. I agree with David. If you can find a good book about OCD to read before your therapy starts you might find it helpful. I remember when my OCD started, it was a horrible and scary time. If I'd had some knowledge about OCD it would've made a difference. I can identify with what you're going through. I lost weight when I first had OCD as I was worried about getting ill from food, so I barely ate for months.

It's good that you can talk to your doctor about your worries. I hope you can start therapy soon. CBT really has improved my OCD although there's still a way to go.