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desperate and don't know what to do


Guest acer

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Hi, I have suffered with OCD for the last twenty years but this time it has got me beaten.

My latest manifestation of this is the sexual orientation variety after the previous health and harm usual suspects.

The problem this time is that I have an incident from when I was a teenager to reinforce the feelings and that is a killer.

I have just started with a CBT therapist but I cannot do the exposure therapy. My sexual thoughts don't cause a spike at the moment, they happen, I try to ignore them and let them wash over me but it only seems to reinforce the feelings that I am not reacting to them and that then brings on massive depression. TODAY HAS BEEN HELL.

You see how can I do the exposure therapy when I'm not getting that spike to resist??? If I fill my head with those images I will simply end up going that way totally.

I am so desperate and really scared I will do something silly as I feel there is no hope for me at all anymore.

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Guest Sisyphus

Hi Acer,

Perhaps I've misunderstood something in what you wrote, but if you are ignoring the sexual thoughts and not performing a compulsion, even though it causes depression, well that is exposing yourself to the thoughts isn't it? Even if it leaves you feeling like ####?

But maybe I've misunderstood that part. I don't see that you have to fill your head with those images, just not responding to the obsession should be enough, but it will take time to have an effect.

Like I say apologies if I've got the worn gend of the stick there. I probably have!

David.

Edited by Sisyphus
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