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Help and advice on how to tackle BDD


Guest SufferingSilently24

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Guest SufferingSilently24

Hi I'm a 19 year old male and I suffer from BDD and at the moment I'm getting really down about everything.

I've never been diagnosed with BDD but I'm pretty sure I have it, id like to explain. It all started when I had my nose broken at a young age by someone the age I am now, to put it bluntly, I was attacked by a drunk guy. This is what started it all off.

So as you can imagine my thoughts centre around my nose, and how I think it's crooked and how I think it makes me look ugly and how I think I am ugly. I went through adolescents with constant mirror checking sometimes hours at a time, constantly taking pictures of myself getting others too, seeking reassurance my nose was straight, went to the doctors and even saw Ear Nose and Throat specialists, 2 of them and they both told me my nose was fine, as did the doctors and as did most people I asked, some people said it was a little out but they had to really check and look.

What I don't understand is how I can see a crooked nose whilst everyone else cant, this is why I could never accept what I was told because I can see it! It drives me mad that's what I don't understand, I just think that people are saying it because they don't want to insult me. I really do think that I'm ugly and the only thing that got me through school is that for whatever reason I actually got attention off of girls, and they all seemed to think that I was good looking, from what I was told anyway, but I was just a depressed kid who everyone probably thought was vain as hell but I really did hate the way I looked/look. I always tell myself how can anyone who thinks they look as bad as you actually look good to other people, if I think I'm appalling in the looks department how can others actually think opposite.

I'm not trying to come across in a vain stuck up way or anything of the sorts i just think I need to get everything I feel down to benefit the most from advice. I'm not 100% how this actually works so I just need explanations. I have really low self confidence and I find it really hard to talk to new people because of how I see myself and I always think they're looking at my nose or thinking 'he's ugly'. I'm just getting so tired of it, my confidence is so low and I just feel awful. I think that's about everything and I'm sorry for the long post, please someone help, I'll be really grateful thank you.

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Guest panix2007

Hello!

Sorry to hear that you are suffering. You say that you see your nose as crooked but others don't? Remember that our minds can play tricks on us; we often think things and see things that don't reflect the way reality really is.

You might never be 100% certain about your appearance. The back-and-forth argument in your mind, the mirror checking, and the questioning of doctors and others might all be a big distraction for your mind. And what if it's just that - a never-ending activity that only serves to keep your mind busy?

I think you should live life the best you can without giving extra time to the worry over your nose. Go and talk to new people despite your worry! Stop yourself from checking mirrors or taking pictures and instead do something you enjoy. Doing these things will feel uncomfortable at first, but over time it will get easier.

Also, is there a counselor or therapist you can see? I don't have any medical knowledge, so I can't say if you have BDD or anything else, but a professional might be able to help you sort things out and get better.

Best of luck :-)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bdd is a psychological problem you see suffering silently.No ones nose is exactly perfectly straight but in the real world it doesn't matter one bit(There is a saying that there is no such thing as a straight line in nature)however in your mind it matters a very great deal.Others will look at your face and see your nose as just a part of your face and whether it is straight or not will not be noticed ,however you focus on that and just that not realizing that you must be good looking and whatever shape your nose is is judged as just fine

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