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is anyone in the same boat?


Guest lily h

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Hi I'm 15 and I've had fairly mild OCD since I was very young and was diagnosed a few years ago. I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to me, because out of the very few people I have met who do have OCD, they are very different than myself. My type of OCD almost completely revolves around numbers, especially the ones 23, 28, and 56. I will count to these numbers when I'm doing almost anything, for example, I will give myself 23 seconds to rinse off in the shower, 28 seconds to shampoo my hair, and 56 seconds to wash it out. Another numerical thing that I do is add up numbers that I see (phone numbers, addresses, etc) and if they don't add up to a multiple of 5 or one of the numbers I previously listed, I get extremely uncomfortable (thankfully for me, I graduate in 2017). I will also not change my current task (if that makes sense) until the clock is at a multiple of 5, especially :15 :30 :45 & :00. I also have to have the television volume at a multiple of 5. It truly doesn't impact my life that much and I am thankful for that but it's always in the back of my mins and I just wanted to know if anyone is going through the same stuff as me. Thank you so much for reading.

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Hi lily h,

Since being diagnosed, I've had different types of OCD, but as a child I used to have to say the number 'six' alot.

Once I said it, I'd have to repeat saying it, & it got pretty annoying.

Not totally the same as yours I know, but was the only number one I've dealt with.

On a personal note, if it's on you mind, then work on getting rid of it. Are you currently seeing a therapist?

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Guest eden1616

i do i have to have numbers in multiples of 5, 3, 10 and i have to avoid 4, 2, 8 ect. basically anything that could have to do with the number 4 i am constantly counting in my head and everything i do is in certain numbers and if something is in a "bad" number i have to start again or do something to fix it. although i have a lot of other ocd themes as well but numbers are a big problem for me. dont worry you are not alone. i am 17 and i have had ocd all my life and it seems like everyones are a bit different but still the same if that makes sense.

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Symps07-

Thank you. It helps knowing that somebody has had to deal with something similar. Like I previously said, it doesn't strongly impact my life, so I haven't felt the need to seek therapy, so I am not currently seeing a therapist. However, when I was originally diagnosed, the therapist gave me some tips that really helped me tone it down, if I can call it that.

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Hi lily h,

Since being diagnosed, I've had different types of OCD, but as a child I used to have to say the number 'six' alot.

Once I said it, I'd have to repeat saying it, & it got pretty annoying.

Not totally the same as yours I know, but was the only number one I've dealt with.

On a personal note, if it's on you mind, then work on getting rid of it. Are you currently seeing a therapist?

Symps07-

Thank you. It helps knowing that somebody has had to deal with something similar. Like I previously said, it doesn't strongly impact my life, so I haven't felt the need to seek therapy, so I am not currently seeing a therapist. However, when I was originally diagnosed, the therapist gave me some tips that really helped me tone it down, if I can call it that.

Edited by lily h
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i do i have to have numbers in multiples of 5, 3, 10 and i have to avoid 4, 2, 8 ect. basically anything that could have to do with the number 4 i am constantly counting in my head and everything i do is in certain numbers and if something is in a "bad" number i have to start again or do something to fix it. although i have a lot of other ocd themes as well but numbers are a big problem for me. dont worry you are not alone. i am 17 and i have had ocd all my life and it seems like everyones are a bit different but still the same if that makes sense.

Eden1616-

That makes perfect sense, thank you! I do very similar things to the stuff you described and it really does help my peace of mind knowing that there's someone out there who is kind of the same as me. Thank you very much for your reply!

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Yes I met someone recently with this problem at an OCD UK support group meeting.

Counting is a common form of OCD and I used to do it a s a child. It sounds daft, but I had this counting ritual of counting in blocks then multiplying until i reached a million. It didn';t take long but i would be very uncomfortable until i had done it.

How did i break it?. i realised it was pointless and nothing bad would happen if i didn't perform the ritual.

So if you bnoth determine a hierarchy to gradually challenge and face out the situation without performing the ritual - feel the anxiety until it fades then work elsewhere within the hierarchy you can wean yourself off this .

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I also did counting as a child as well I would have to touch each object with my left and right hand the same amount of times and I didn't like odd numbers. I, like taurean got over it by realising that nothing bad eventuated by not engaging in those rituals. I dont know what other way someone would conquer these rituals other than gradually exposing yourself to the 'risk' of not doing them - the obsession may get worse and be exacerbated initially but over time this should abate when you realise that nothing bad will happen if you dont count.

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Guest eden1616

Eden1616-

That makes perfect sense, thank you! I do very similar things to the stuff you described and it really does help my peace of mind knowing that there's someone out there who is kind of the same as me. Thank you very much for your reply!

Glad to help

Edited by eden1616
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Symps07-

Thank you. It helps knowing that somebody has had to deal with something similar. Like I previously said, it doesn't strongly impact my life, so I haven't felt the need to seek therapy, so I am not currently seeing a therapist. However, when I was originally diagnosed, the therapist gave me some tips that really helped me tone it down, if I can call it that.

No worries, personally I would get treatment just so you know how to deal with it properly. OCD has a funny habit of rearing up now & again.

But I wish you all the best :original:

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Bozzie

Hi there,

I understand your problems with numbers. I too have good numbers and bad numbers. I can do things just once, but if it doesn't 'feel right', then I usually go to 2, then it could go 4, 8, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16... it's a strange pattern, but the numbers I avoid totally are 6, 13, and 18.

It does get frustrating, but I find that the best thing that helps me stop my rituals is when someone is watching me, or with me. As well as that, I find being under time pressure (for example, having to leave the house to catch the train) also helps.

Hope this helps :original:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, I'm in a far worse boat. My ocd is so severe that it might be out of reach to be treated. The pains I've gone through.... death and cancer seem like nothing compared to my condition.

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Guest eden1616

Hey, I'm in a far worse boat. My ocd is so severe that it might be out of reach to be treated. The pains I've gone through.... death and cancer seem like nothing compared to my condition.

That is not fair to assume. Saying that you have got it worse is highly unlikely and also kind of rude. Everyone has ocd here it is is hard for everyone. You cant make those sorts of assumptions as you dont know everyone else's lives and what they go through.

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Hey, I'm in a far worse boat. My ocd is so severe that it might be out of reach to be treated. The pains I've gone through.... death and cancer seem like nothing compared to my condition.

Hi Chipre. I know that it seems difficult now, but there has to be a way to treat it. I choose to believe that there is, anyway. Don't give up hope, though. It's often what keeps you going. Plus, everyone struggles with this illness in different ways, which is a relatively good thing because we can all offer different perspectives on different topics. What I took from the final sentence of your post is that you'd rather die than live with your OCD - is this assumption correct? I felt that way this morning on the way to school, and it didn't really stop until I got to 4th period (band class). I've been feeling that way a lot lately, and yet I'm still here. It's difficult to live with my OCD, but I'm not ready to die yet. It's important for us to realize that if we truly couldn't live with our OCD, we'd already be gone. I say this because feeling hopeless is not the same as being helpless. There is a way out. Remember that.

Does anyone that you know in "real" life know about your OCD?

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That is not fair to assume. Saying that you have got it worse is highly unlikely and also kind of rude. Everyone has ocd here it is is hard for everyone. You cant make those sorts of assumptions as you dont know everyone else's lives and what they go through.

Well, I made those assumptions based on what I've read so far throughout the forum, what doctors have told me, and the information I've found throughout the internet. For me, the anxiety never really goes away until I do a compulsion. It may decrease, but it continues there until I perform the compulsion. I've had certain anxieties that have stayed for months. I don't mean to offend you, but the severity of ocd I have been diagnosed with is extremely rare. I've seen several proffessional doctors, and they admit they haven't encountered a case like mine yet. Some examples of the severity are: I wash my hands for up to about 45 minutes sometimes, I can't sit or lay down anywhere in my house except here at my chair at the computer or my bed, and many times, just by thinking that I got dirty is enough for me to have to wash. Besides, ocd is one of the many other problems I have.... I've been completely bullied by life(life itself hates me apparently). Again, I don't mean to offend anyone, and please don't hate me.

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Hi Chipre. I know that it seems difficult now, but there has to be a way to treat it. I choose to believe that there is, anyway. Don't give up hope, though. It's often what keeps you going. Plus, everyone struggles with this illness in different ways, which is a relatively good thing because we can all offer different perspectives on different topics. What I took from the final sentence of your post is that you'd rather die than live with your OCD - is this assumption correct? I felt that way this morning on the way to school, and it didn't really stop until I got to 4th period (band class). I've been feeling that way a lot lately, and yet I'm still here. It's difficult to live with my OCD, but I'm not ready to die yet. It's important for us to realize that if we truly couldn't live with our OCD, we'd already be gone. I say this because feeling hopeless is not the same as being helpless. There is a way out. Remember that.

Does anyone that you know in "real" life know about your OCD?

Thanks for the kind reply(it's very rare). Yes, from my last sentence.... I wish I had never been born and I regret ever existing. Sadly, this feeling never goes away from me. The only reason I'm still alive is because it's strongly against my religion to kindly put myself to peace(in other words, committing s**cide).... it's the worst sin, because if I kindly put myself to rest, the act itself is a big sin, and since I'd be dead, there would be no way to repent, and I'd end up in hell where the ultimate suffering lies. So I know that putting myself kindly to peace would only really be taking myself to an even worse torment, which is why I can't do it. Very few people in real life besides my parents know about my ocd, though it does seem obvious that I am a miserable person(but other students at school don't know I have ocd). Some evil-minded students at school just assume I'm emo(because I'm never happy) or stuff like that and pass rumors about me. So I don't truly trust anyone in real life, because sadly I know what kind of world I live in. :(

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Guest eden1616

Well, I made those assumptions based on what I've read so far throughout the forum, what doctors have told me, and the information I've found throughout the internet. For me, the anxiety never really goes away until I do a compulsion. It may decrease, but it continues there until I perform the compulsion. I've had certain anxieties that have stayed for months. I don't mean to offend you, but the severity of ocd I have been diagnosed with is extremely rare. I've seen several proffessional doctors, and they admit they haven't encountered a case like mine yet. Some examples of the severity are: I wash my hands for up to about 45 minutes sometimes, I can't sit or lay down anywhere in my house except here at my chair at the computer or my bed, and many times, just by thinking that I got dirty is enough for me to have to wash. Besides, ocd is one of the many other problems I have.... I've been completely bullied by life(life itself hates me apparently). Again, I don't mean to offend anyone, and please don't hate me.

My anxiety doesnt leave either and i am sorry you are having a hard time i just think the way you worded it was a bit unfair. I dont hate you but i dont think you can reasnoably compare your ocd in terms of severity to others. I know i certainly play down mine a fair bit as my ocd wont let me say certain words so what people say on here might not be 100% accurate.

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Thanks for the kind reply(it's very rare). Yes, from my last sentence.... I wish I had never been born and I regret ever existing. Sadly, this feeling never goes away from me. The only reason I'm still alive is because it's strongly against my religion to kindly put myself to peace(in other words, committing s**cide).... it's the worst sin, because if I kindly put myself to rest, the act itself is a big sin, and since I'd be dead, there would be no way to repent, and I'd end up in hell where the ultimate suffering lies. So I know that putting myself kindly to peace would only really be taking myself to an even worse torment, which is why I can't do it. Very few people in real life besides my parents know about my ocd, though it does seem obvious that I am a miserable person(but other students at school don't know I have ocd). Some evil-minded students at school just assume I'm emo(because I'm never happy) or stuff like that and pass rumors about me. So I don't truly trust anyone in real life, because sadly I know what kind of world I live in. :(

Some kids at school are mean, while others simply don't know any better, but there are people who understand, and people who are willing to help in any way that they can. You don't have to trust everyone with every little detail of your illness, but it's nice to have someone to talk to when you've had a bad day (or a good one :)). Are you currently having any sort of treatment for your OCD and other problems? How was your day today? PM me anytime if you need to talk - I'll be there for you whenever I can. You're not alone with this. :group:

Edited by Purplepiper7
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Some kids at school are mean, while others simply don't know any better, but there are people who understand, and people who are willing to help in any way that they can. You don't have to trust everyone with every little detail of your illness, but it's nice to have someone to talk to when you've had a bad day (or a good one :)). Are you currently having any sort of treatment for your OCD and other problems? How was your day today? PM me anytime if you need to talk - I'll be there for you whenever I can. You're not alone with this. :group:

I am currently having treatment, but it's not helping :( Even CBT was unsuccessfull because the conditions were so severe, that the therapists suggested trying meds to help weaken the ocd so that I could better manage the therapy. But the meds are not working :( One doctor even gave up and recommended me to another doctor. My day was horrible today. 99.99% of my days are horrible.

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My anxiety doesnt leave either and i am sorry you are having a hard time i just think the way you worded it was a bit unfair. I dont hate you but i dont think you can reasnoably compare your ocd in terms of severity to others. I know i certainly play down mine a fair bit as my ocd wont let me say certain words so what people say on here might not be 100% accurate.

I guess it's very hard for all of us. However, here in the USA it seems as if everyone's life is perfect and everyone is happy except me.

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I am currently having treatment, but it's not helping :( Even CBT was unsuccessfull because the conditions were so severe, that the therapists suggested trying meds to help weaken the ocd so that I could better manage the therapy. But the meds are not working :( One doctor even gave up and recommended me to another doctor. My day was horrible today. 99.99% of my days are horrible.

I'm sorry. :( Some doctors have absolutely no idea how to deal with mental illness in general. People have given up on me, too, but you can't give up on yourself. Have you spoken to your current doctor about trying a different medication, or possibly a combination of them? Have you tried completing CBT a second time, and was the therapist experienced in treating OCD? Depression can exasperate your condition, so it may be a case of treating that first.

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I guess it's very hard for all of us. However, here in the USA it seems as if everyone's life is perfect and everyone is happy except me.

Trust me, this is not the case. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly eager to go around shouting that I struggle with OCD. People around you may be struggling too, but are reluctant or embarrassed to speak up. In many cases, it's just not relevant and these things go unsaid. You're not alone - this I am certain of. :group:

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Guest eden1616

I guess it's very hard for all of us. However, here in the USA it seems as if everyone's life is perfect and everyone is happy except me.

That is what it seems like everywhere. may i ask how old you are? cause sometimes at certain ages kids/young people are really mean and horrible And i am just wondering if you are in that age group. Have you looked into possibly having depression i am not a doctor but depression is common with ocd.

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I'm sorry. :( Some doctors have absolutely no idea how to deal with mental illness in general. People have given up on me, too, but you can't give up on yourself. Have you spoken to your current doctor about trying a different medication, or possibly a combination of them? Have you tried completing CBT a second time, and was the therapist experienced in treating OCD? Depression can exasperate your condition, so it may be a case of treating that first.

My current doctor has tried several medicines and combinations, but they're still not working. I actually got to the point of being on 200mg sertraline + 175 clomipramine + 2mg clonazepam, but even all that didn't help. So now i'm in other medicines but they're still not working. I haven't actually tried CBT again, since my condition has worsened even more over time, and if I couldn't do it back then, I doubt it'll be any easier now. All I can do is hope to find the right medicine to weaken the condition so that I can do the CBT.

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Trust me, this is not the case. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly eager to go around shouting that I struggle with OCD. People around you may be struggling too, but are reluctant or embarrassed to speak up. In many cases, it's just not relevant and these things go unsaid. You're not alone - this I am certain of. :group:

I try to hide my condition as much as I can, but some symptons just can't be hidden since my condition is so severe. People at school just think I'm weird and most people are mean(even some of the staff). I'm like the outcast since everyone is very smart and social while I am not smart and no one wants to be my friend so I'm almost always alone. But it's really nice to be able to talk to other people here. :group:

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