Being ugly.. People mocking me

[Confused.com1]

I've had this obsession over being ugly for some time now and It does get me down.. I'm convinced everyone else thinks Im ugly and when I take pictures I think it etc.. Even tho people tell me otherwise I don't believe them. Also I have this thing where I think everyone is taking the biscuit out of me or 'mocking' me should I say.. And I don't believe anyone would genuinely like me etc.. Anyway tonight my ex added me on a social networking site. We ended badly and I know he wouldn't be nice.. He has got a girlfriend he is stil with from after me and now in my head I'm thinking he's added me to take the '****' out of me or he's laughing at me with his gf.. I know this may sound stupid but this is what I'm thinking, also that he must think 'oh she will still be single' because I'm ugly or some sort of joke? I feel really stressed and upset and I know I might sound shallow but I really feel down =(

[Running Lover]

I get like though too. I don't feel attractive what so ever I know I'm not as people never say it. Feel embarrassed sometimes that people will talk about me and want to hide. I'm not sure if this is part of ocd? Probavly low self esteem? I'm probably wrong person up advice my heads pickled at the moment hope your okay x

[Guest Rosiebella1]

Omg I feel like this is me talking!!! I feel exactly the same as you about things especially when your ex has added you and you think he is laughing about you. From reading this from the outside I would say it's in your head hun and he has added you because he still likes you and obviously isn't happy with his ex. However can I just ask why you are bothering entertaining him anyway if you ended badly? I would block him and forget him! But re your paranoia I had a guy ask for my number from my work friend and I am paranoid they did it to wind me up and laugh about me. So I totally get where you are coming from. I also doubt you are ugly. You sound insecure and thats totally normal with ocd but just accept the doubts and carry on anyway. Don't think the worse all the time it's hard but the more you do this the more you will realise it's all in your head. Trust me I know how you feel xx

[Guest Annabel]

I feel really hideous most of the time too- I have mild Body Dysmorphic Disorder and it sounds like you might too?

[Confused.com1]

Thanks for the replies! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.. Although sorry to hear you guys feel the same you see with other people I would say it's all in your head and your being paranoid.. With me I feel as though it's not in my head and my thoughts ARE correct?! I'm not bothered over my ex the only thing bugging me is that I feel like he's somehow laughing at me and that makes me feel crappy i do wonder if this is ocd though or bdd(body dismorphia) x

[Confused.com1]

Annabel do you ever feel as though people are mocking you or suspicious of other people in general?

[Guest Rosiebella1]

Ocd and bdd are closely linked. So could be a bit of both. If you read what you just said - you are not bothered about him but worry he is laughing at you. If you are not bothered about him what does his opinion matter anyway!? So what if he is laughing. His loss. Maybe try that mental attitude xx

[Ascend]

Sounds like lack of self esteem rather than BDD perhaps?

[Guest nervous]

I think are feeling bad about yourself and when people feel that way they go looking for insults and when you go looking for insults you always find them. I could tell you that you don't have any proof of what others think of you but then you would probably just spend more time trying to prove your assumptions. Try and spend some time to decide what is really important to you and follow that instead.

[Guest Annabel]

Hi Confused.com,

I guess I don't really feel as though people are mocking me but I did refuse to post a facebook profile picture for several years and I feel that I am much uglier than average due to certain problems with my face and head-shape.

It may be OCD or BDD but the treatment would probably be similar.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

I think some people could be facing BDD issues here and others are just dealing with low self-esteem. I have been told that I am very beautiful, etc, but I never fully believe it. I always think that people are just being nice. I also get very self-conscious when I am out in public and people look at me or talk about me (maybe I am imagining them talking about me) although, sometimes it is obvious that they are. And I never think they are saying good things, I start to get really anxious and my thoughts are always, ''they think I'm ugly, they are talking about how I am weird looking or awkward, etc.''. If I see people laughing, I automatically assume they might be making jokes about my looks. I know I'm not ugly but I constantly think that others are judging me and making negative judgments. I guess, it isn't BDD in my case - just EXTREMELY low self-esteem.

I'm sorry that all of you are feeling so low about yourselves. I'm sure you are all much more beautiful than you believe. That is usually the case.

Plus, what I try to remind myself is that there are so many definitions of beauty and everyone really is beautiful in some way and to someone.

[Confused.com1]

i mean i dont think its just low self esteem as i constantly have to seek reassurance that i am not ugly.. from friends and family, its got to the point where they are sick of me going on. So i think this is a form of my ocd as well as obviously me being insecure etc. I wish i wasnt so paranoid though, thinking that people are mocking me and taking the p**s, it really gets me down and makes me hate interacting with people.

[Ascend]

Well if it's OCD you're dealing with then you need to stop the compulsions. Don't ask your family and friends if you're attractive or not, don't stare at yourself in the mirror for hours on end. Do exactly the opposite of what your thoughts are telling you to do.

[Guest lizinlondon]

If anyone mocks people for the way the look or behave, they are the ugly ones. Beauty comes from within.