Relationship OCD

[Guest OCDQueen]

Has anyone on here recovered from relationship OCD, and got any advice?

I have been with my fiancé 5 years love him very very much, but I keep having niggling doubts which I know are caused by this.

It started because of the pressure OCD has but on our relationship this year, causing us to have quite a few disagreements, and now any time he does anything which upsets or annoys me, I question my love for him and then start to feel guilty.

Thanks

[Chels]

Hi yes i get this all of the time!! I am in exactly the same boat!!

It is horrible.

[Nolu]

Hi

Me too. Plus I feel I an lying when I tell her I love her. You can recover, but that should not be your focus. Focus on ignore the thoughts because that is "just" what it is.

Nolu

[Chels]

I also have thoughts that i still like my ex!! I hate it, its really getting to me lately

[imhotep79]

Yes! I've recovered and actually relationshiop was one of my first Ocd themes.

For me, it involved changing perspectives of what true love means, what being in a relationship means, what is the difference between loving someone and falling in love with someone...I had to change all of my views on these subjects, and considering what I really felt instead of what the media, books and common stereotypes considered to be "Love".

Understand that it is normal to have disagreements, even to be annoyed...Ocd doesn't allow discrepancies, it wants us to consider love as pure perfection or nothing, when actually love is, first and foremost, commitment: commitment to our partner, to make him/her happy, to walk this path together, to build something for ourselves and maybe our sons.

I struggled nearly 2 years with this theme but in the end I prevailed. Yes, it can be beaten.

Ocd is often about "all or nothing". Well, love isn't like that I think.

[Guest OCDQueen]

Thank you all. It's great to hear from people who have recovered. It helps to get someone else's view on things.

[Chels]

I hope i can recover soon. I feel like i drag my partner down with me cause i feel like what im thinking inside shows on the outside.

[Guest OCDQueen]

Yes same here! But that is also part of the OCD, feeling guilty. We need to be nicer to ourselves and be patient.

Someone said earlier, we need to just focus on accepting the thoughts and letting them be, not focus on recovering from specific themes of ocd

[Chels]

It just seems impossible to stop thinking about something its like theres something in my head reminding me of it everyday!!

[Guest OCDQueen]

That is typical with any OCD we either choose to beat it or we choose to let it beat us. I know which one I want to do

[Nolu]

Or say to your self. Rumination makes it worse. I will focus on something else until 5 o'clock. And then do it. At 5 the issue is often gorne :-)

Edited October 22, 2014 by Nolu