Guest Saz Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 (edited) Hi all Just wanted to firstly say thanks for the continued support to me my never ending posts. Secondly I'm feeling a bit sad. My new baby is due soon but today I've felt quite upset as I'm thinking about my ex partner (Father of my 2 kids) Not in that way but he took his own life in November we had been separated for some years but all of a sudden I feel sad and anxious about it all and dare I say guilty I know this isn't really ocd as such but im worried when im in labour I might be upset as obviously I have a new partner now who I love deeply but it might bring back memories. ..I'm probably worrying unessasseraly but just felt I needed to put it down really. X Edited July 24, 2014 by Saz Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Grief arrives at unexpected times. Give yourself permission to experience the feelings. They are normal and part of what makes us human. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Thanks polar, probably hormones too x Link to comment
Guest legend Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 look after yourself saz xxx Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 So sorry to hear this, Saz - what an awful thing to happen. As others have said, take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve xxx Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Thanks ginger, I have had this thought creep up on me every now and then since I've been pregnant and I guess now the time is almost here-even though im so happy and excited-it's tinged with sadness aswell. I haven't spoken much about it, not sure why, i know it might not seem like it but I'm quite a private person really. Thanks for everyone's kind concern.x Link to comment
taurean Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Sarah I am thinking of you. Keep busy and this will help you.Try and look forwards. Link to comment
speedbird Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 (edited) Sorry for your grief. I never had any relationships. I'm only 18, so my advice probably counts as nothing! But when I'm upset, I like to play guitar, because no matter how hard I hit the strings in order to vent my emotions physically, they hardly ever break. I'm just saying this because, in my opinion at least, telling you to go for a walk or something along those lines probably won't do as much good as venting vigorously. Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying, I feel like I'm not making sense... Edited July 28, 2014 by speedbird Link to comment
Guest Sally44 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 What you are feeling is normal. Birth and Death are the life cycle, and the arrival of your baby will remind you of loved ones who are not around, whether that is your ex-partner, or parents/grandparents etc. My eldest daughter was one of triplets. But only she survived to birth. And I always remember the other two on her birthday. Now the sadness has gone, but I still think about them, eventhough I never even met them - sounds crazy, but I think you will understand what I mean. Have a good cry about it if that helps and get those emotions out. But don't dwell on them. Allow yourself to be overjoyed at the new arrival too. And once the baby is born, you won't have any time to remember your name, nevermind anything else. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you speedbird and sally x Speedbird you do make sense I promise Sally im sorry to here of your loss, that must of been difficult to go through. Yes I know when baby comes I will be soooo busy your right and I'm sure I'll be fine with everything, ive good family etc too Your right its probably the death birth cycle which will be a reminder and you wouldn't believe it if I told you that the baby is due on his birthday of all the dates in the year, I think that's quite mad but im not seeing it in a negative way more of a blessing or llittle sign. For me it's just obviously last time I was in this situation or giving birth it was different and I am really worried im going to be quite upset and I don't want to be, I want to be happy you know. I repeat its not because of anything other than me feeling sad because he took his own life and is gone (we didnt even really get on in the end! He let the kids down etc etc but you dont want someone to do that to themselves). Again I am pre empting a situation and naturally over thinking it but because of the situation I can't help it at the moment. Sorry this isn't so much ocd guys x Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Just to add I am happy, im so happy about the little baby, I don't mean im not im just worrying for when I'm in labour x Link to comment
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