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in need of some guidance


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Everytime I go to let something go I think 'well everything has an answer so if u just think for a minute you'll know whats true/just a thought' How can it be so difficult KNOWING things and yet seem so completely bad/wrong/dangerous as well.


I don't know whether to let it go by telling myself its either not true or exaggerated or what to tell myself. Of course I know its my mind thats the problem but I don't know HOW to look at situations thats not an 'ocd response'.


I had a good cry with mum last night but at first she said 'i dread you coming in in the morning'- as I always ask her whether my outfits ok before work' and I said 'so do I' and I really hope I wasn't saying/implying/meaning that i hate going in and seeing dad because i think he's pervy/cos my ocd revolves around him.


So scared whether or not I make out i hate being around dad because ocd revolves around him. What on earth would this say/imply? Surely it says I believe my thoughts about dad.


I could go on and on about different scenario's but I know that's me looking for reassurance. But I have enough worries to last a life time and writing individual things is not helpful at all in the long run, I know.


Earlier me and friend watched a film with sex and rape and I said something like 'i've seen worse rapes/rape scenes' and it worries me what that says and implies? Obv I meant in films-not that I even have seen many rape scenes, I'm not sure really. I guess I have in some films. but it sounds like I wanted her to think i meant in real life. And I'm petrified that when I'm as down and stressed with ocd as i am- could be the time where i say and imply a lot of wrong/bad/false things and even BELIEVE them :-(


I also worried so much earlier as my friend said ‘ew look at that kid’ as he was crying but looked mean and i said eww he looks nasty. But i’m so worried whether I said ooh in a pervy way. Same in cinema a baby cried and me and friend looked at one another but dunno what my face said ‘aww or ooh’ it seems so important to monitor what i say and do becaused if I made just one ‘oooh’ in a horrid way it wouldnt seem as bad as doing it twice and then ppl would really think im a paedophile.


Im scare that i’ll now get fears that im a paedophile because i had that before around my ex’s lovely niece. I worried I was saying, implyign, doing inappropriate things. and it seemed the more scared i became the more i felt maybe i liked children and the more i really felt i was doing, saying, implying. I wouldnt have though would I?


I know I have ocd, i know its a condition and i know its not normal and only I can fix it. I just dont know how to go about tackling ocd? Any tips and tools would be so useful right now. Im feeling so determined

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Guest roseanne

First of, I could give you reassurance for all these scenarios because they are not the way you think they are. What I would recommend is the book "Brain lock". That is the only way to help me because I there are no therapy spots available where I live. You should definitely try that and you could also get it as an ebook. Dont overthink :)

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