Same worry, want reassurance, but don't give it to me.

[Steven_in_the_clouds]

I've posted on this topic several times before, but something just triggered me. Basically about six/seven years ago, I had bad pocd. This now does not bother me much as I can see it is irrational and doesn't reflect reality. I Have had other ocd over the years as well since I was in my teens. However, the more classic ocd fears no longer bother me as I have strategies to ignore them.

However, my main fear/obsessive worry which had ebbed and flowed over the past five years is always the same and very clever. It's obsessing about ocd being on my record and having to tell gps about it etc. The recent thread on child protection getting involved with people with ocd has freaked me out again. (I end up reading through all the threads in here trying to find material relevant to my worry).

How am I supposed to leave ocd behind when people with ocd are being viewed as potentially risky? I just keep obsessing that some time in the future, when (if) I have kids, that they will be taken away and all my friends will find out about ocd and I'll lose my job etc... I know that this is catastrophising but I find it very difficult to stop when my ocd kicks in. I really want certainty that nothing will go wrong in the future, but no one can give me that. Because this seems like a realistic fear to me (unlike other more irrational fears I have had) it is very difficult to ignore.

After all there is evidence on this board that social services get involved with ocd people. I just keep obsessing that it will happen to me in the future.

I suppose I want reassurance that this won't happen to me but no one can give it to me. And I know it won't help anyway. I find this obsession very hard to beat. I know I should stop going through all the threads on this forum looking for reassurance as it is a compulsion. Likewise I have other compulsions like googling about ocd and social services and asking for reassurance from trusted friends.

Any advice anyone? Also, hardly anyone else has this obsession so few people ever reply! I really want to leave ocd behind but this intrusive worry seems so likely that it's hard.

[PolarBear]

There's nothing realistic about your obsession. There have been a few isolated incidents, each with their own circumstances that have to be taken into context. The vast majority of OCD sufferers never have any problems of any kind with the authorities. You are overestimating the potential threat in this case.

I'll go ahead and sound like a broken record. Stop searching the forum threads for proof your concern is real. Also stop seeking reassurance from friends.

If you go to a doctor and end up telling him/her about your OCD, then OCD may well end up on your medical file. So what. It's on mine and I carry on. It's a medical condition, as sure as diabetes or heart disease. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Steven_in_the_clouds]

Thank you polar. I did tell my doctor and a psychiatrist many years ago. It's already on my record and will stay there as I take medication. I know that in theory ocd is nothing to be ashamed with. Accepting that myself is another matter! If it was widely known about by the medical profession, I would feel less guilty about it, but I always have this fear that it will be misunderstood. Anyway, I do okay mist of the time. And yes I will stop scouring the forums for proof of my obsession and reassurance.