OCD during the night?

[FoosBoo88]

Hi guys,

I suffer from nocturia and do sometimes have to get up at night to..erm..go. The problem is sometimes I sort of feel like I 'forget' myself and feel like I'm just going to go and get a blade and stab my husband. That then leads to a huge panic attack about going crazy, resulting in being awake like a dear caught in the headlights for an hour and not getting more than about 4 hours in any one night. I've also had a lot of dearealisation lately which makes it even scarier!

I know mornings are hell, but does anyone else get up at night and find OCD is on autopilot even when you're not? How do you cope? I'm not too bad during the day, I 'get up and get on' nowadays, but obviously I can't do that at 3am! :laugh:

FoosBoo88 x

[PolarBear]

Hopefully when these thoughts enter your head you can start saying, "I am not going to do that. I'm tired and I'm going to bed." That's the gist of it. You haven't killed him yet so that's a pretty good indication what you'll not do in the future.

[FoosBoo88]

So in essence, telling myself my OCD is tripping me up is good, not reassuring myself? I get in such a mess at times! I never know what the right thing to tell myself is.

And no, but then my family are going away for a fortnight tomorrow...and that's made me feel VERY pressured, as the 'mother hen' of the young uns..

FoosBoo88 x

[Caramoole]

Horrid notion but I used to have to think "If I do, then I do" ....and do my best to get back to sleep

You do actually know that the thought is an OCD one....you're just struggling with the anxiety and persuasive doubt it provokes, which isn't nice.

I can so relate to your fears because if I rewound to 1976 I stood in the same pair of shoes exactly......"Please don't nod off on the sofa in case I kill you" :crybaby:

OCD Foo....the only danger is to your emotions in that moment.

It masquerades as real but it's still an imposter.

[FoosBoo88]

Oh god Caramoole..you could bring a girl to tears like that, but yes, I remember telling my friend that I was going to go and kill my husband, I was that sure. All she could say was "well if you do, I'll help you hide the body". She loves thrillers, I'm terrified by them!

I do sort of flip between "maybe I will", "it's just my OCD" and "who cares?! I'm pegging it the hell back to bed before I do! I'm nuts!" it's a very scary time when that happens

And yes....if I could wind back to 2010 you'd see a 12 stone 21-year-old who was newly engaged and very excitable about marrying the same man she married at 25, 19 stone and violent obsessions about killing him with the cake knife Bad, bad, bad OCD!

FoosBoo88 x

[Miranda123]

I know what you mean FoosBoo! I used to get the same - if i woke up in the middle of the night or as i was trying to get to sleep i was bombarded with thoughts that i would just turn round and strangle my boyfriend. Or i would wake up in the morning and i would've hurt him in my sleep without knowing. Sometimes i'd even wake up and worrying that i had hurt the other people in the house too and wouldn't be able to relax until i had heard them moving about etc. Felt so incredibly real, awful! x

[FoosBoo88]

Miranda123 exactly! I only recently has thoughts of strangling, the first was with my mother. We were sat in her car and BOOM! I also feel like I'll strangle my husband when we hug or sometimes I'll feel like stabbing him for making me 'pregnant' even though I know the chances are tiny as I'm on the pill. It's a complete nightmare at night.

Yep.. I wake for people to wake up, too. It's kind of reassurance though? I've seen things on TV which,even though they're fictional, were huge spikes for me.

FoosBoo88 x