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OCD And Cleaning Habits. Has Anyone Else Experienced This?


Guest shelby1990

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Guest shelby1990

I know that "typical" OCD is often associated with overzealous cleaning and organizing habits/rituals...but I am the exact opposite, which caused a lot of confusion when I was first diagnosed. My mom always called me a slob when I was a young child and teenager because my room was always a mess, but now that I'm an adult, I'm starting to think it might be much more than that. I still live at home, and while I have no problem doing my part to keep the shared living space clean (taking out trash, wiping down counters, vacuuming, doing dishes), my own bedroom is a mess. Being 23 years old, it's embarrassing to admit, but there's something about cleaning my own room that I find unbearably overwhelming. I often ask my young niece and nephew (who are very nosy and like to go through my stuff) to help out because otherwise, I won't get anything done. Since I've been a child, it's always the same old process. I go in my room, decide to focus on a specific task or area of the room first...and then find I've spent too much time in that spot doing practically nothing. Sometimes I take too long cleaning or organizing a particular spot, or I'll find a book or journal entry I've written that piques my interest, and I'll just be sitting and reading and not doing anything. I get distracted very easily while cleaning, and after realizing I've spent so much time in my room doing basically nothing, I'll just get discouraged and overwhelmed by the mess that is still around me and promise myself I'll do it "later." And 99% of the time, it's not as if my room is filthy and should take awhile to clean. I'll have a few dishes, a pile of dirty laundry, a few books thrown about, an unmade bed, and maybe other little things that are not in their designated spot (mostly knitting materials), but it always feels like the end of the world and an all day production to deal with even a little disorder. But it also feels like the end of the world if my room is totally spotless and I don't have little personal items strewn about. I wait until my room gets practically unbearable to stay in to take care of the mess and then, like I said, I'll often enlist help or else spend a good 5 or 6 hours in my bedroom myself. I often ask myself "Why can't you just go in there, set a time limit, and make sure you have everything done within that time?" But it just doesn't work that way for me. I wish I was simply a slob and lazy, but I don't think your run-of-the-mill lazy person would feel such dread and anxiety when faced with having to clean a bedroom. After years of watching Hoarders and having my family joke "Hey, that's probably what your house is going to look like when you get your own place", I wonder if they might be right. I know hoarding can be one manifestation of OCD, but it's not like I am collecting weird things or have an emotional attachment to the stuff I'm avoiding throwing away. It just feels physically draining and fills me with an uncomfortable, unreasonable feeling of dread to do so. Any advice or suggestions?

Edited by shelby1990
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Guest PaulM

Hi shelby1990,

I'm the same. I find keeping things tidy difficult because it involves touching dirty things on a regular basis. So it piles up. My laundry turns into a mountain at times. I've had a habit of buying new clothes instead of doing the laundry which just compounds the problem.

It's not laziness. It's dread. Whether it's cleaning the sink or touching a dirty pair of socks or opening the mail it's dread. Which, sadly, translates into avoidance.

And then OCD, being aptly referred to as the doubting disease, makes me wonder if I've done things right or thoroughly enough when I do finally muster the courage to take things on. Often any sense of accomplishment is non-existent and instead I worry that all I've done is made things worse. Last night I had to do my laundry by hand (the machine isn't working) and there were all sorts of thoughts going through my head. Some are still there this morning even though I'm wearing the clothes.

In the past I've taken hours, four pairs of gloves, 8 sponges, and a whole bottle of Vim to clean my one small bathroom. That adds to the dread. It's quite a bit better now. Actually much better. But that's where I was not long ago.

Edited by PaulM
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There is a misguided belief out there that we OCso are all anal retention neat freaks. My psychiatrist said most OCs are not. We spend so much time on obsessions and compulsions we don't have the energy to be perfectionists.

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I have contamination OCD and I like to be generally clean but there are piles of things which need 'cleaning; yet I cant do it because im so fearful of having to deal with the contaminated stuff. I just look like I dont do any cleaning but my home is clean, although I have my clutter of contaminated things which exhausts me to even think about. I also echo what PaulM has said.

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