battlethrough Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Bottom line,I have in the past fantasized about things I shouldnt,as in mid teens albeit I thought they were older People with ocd never fantasize about their fear,for me the knowledge of my past fantasys has caused this obsessive guilt and intrusive thoughts I just feel im bad and all on hear are good people Ive crossed a line by enjoying the fantasy I cant see how this is ocd I deserve to die Link to comment
Guest nidu Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hey.. Calm down you are not alone Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 You are not understanding how OCD works and you are allowing the guilt you feel to cloud the real situation going on. You had a fantasy. It could have involved underage girls. That is not OCD. That is just a fantasy. OCD comes into play because all of a sudden you are stuck on the thought of fantasizing in the past. The fantasy itself is not OCD. It is what it is. But your reaction to the memory of that fantasy has all the hallmarks of OCD. What you are going through these days is OCD. Your disorder has latched onto a minor situation from the past, blown it all out of proportion and made you feel like ****. You are making the situation oh so much worse by constantly ruminating about fantasizing. It's OCD. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I feel I am even in a room full of people Theres no ifs or buts,as gross as it is I have entertained thoughts of developed teens,the fantasys were arousing the reality is horrifing. It never matterd it was just taboo,now it has destroyed me Im not like others on here as I fantasized,I couldnt begin to imagine anything like that for real but its still not right I get better and then it hits again I realy dont want to carry on,find myself concidering stopping this touture for good Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 You can stop this torture for good by adhering to sound principles for dealing with OCD. You aren't the only person who has fantasized about such things and you're not even the first person on the forum to raise such a thing. Given your state I strongly recommend you find a therapist to help you work through your feelings and help you implement sound CBT principles. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Observe a fancy dress party or a Hen Party and just see how many times you see women dressed as school girls with gym-slips, hair in plaits, painted freckles, open necked shirts and push up bras, stockings and suspenders. The women choose to do this as a turn on and all the blokes are in there going Phoarrrrrrrr!!! Why do you think this is? Fantasy, titillation. Are those people all perverts? No. Do they worry about it? No. When I was a teenager it was common practise for blokes to refer to an attractive teenager as "Jail Bait" (because they lusted after them) It was also common practise for a 16 year old to go out with a 20+ and no-one batted an eyelid before all this media stuff we have today. You can change this but first your have to accept what's driving your fears Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Thanks for your time I have no strength left Im nearly done,I give up,I cant win Link to comment
Guest nidu Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Everything will be OK.. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I cant see that but thnx Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 You can choose to get past this. It involves hard work on your part, but there is a way out. You have to choose to go down that path. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Nobody here's judging you harshly battlethrough, so please don't judge yourself harshly. Like polarbear says, it'll be hardwork but you can get past this! Stay strong mate, we're all here for you! :original: Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Does anyone else fear going out My wife and me are going out,I just feel im not worthy,just a sick perv Link to comment
Guest ADD Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Fully developed is fully developed. Primal functioning is in healthy order. Rest are concepts and negative beliefs and judgements. A number doesn't make an adult body, development does. Brain maturity is often slower than body maturity though that varies also. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 I was in my late twentys,she was sol much younger it makes me sick how I could venture there in my head Link to comment
Caramoole Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I was in my late twentys,she was sol much younger it makes me sick how I could venture there in my head So when are you going to put this down, stop torturing yourself and start to deal with it as OCD? Link to comment
Caramoole Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Happy Birthday btw :happybirth: :hug: Link to comment
Guest ADD Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 (edited) I was in my late twentys,she was sol much younger it makes me sick how I could venture there in my head Sooooo dramatic! Late twenties is quite young. Edited January 24, 2015 by ADD Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 (edited) Thanks caramoole Lol add,love your sarcasm But I do find it dramatic,its consumed me with all the press lately but it is realy bad She worked were I worked and was dressing up very provocitive I had no idea then was walking through town and to my horror she was in last years of school,how could I go there in my head,the gap is huge,that makes me a perv Edited January 24, 2015 by battlethrough Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 It only makes you a perv to you. You'll get no reassurance that you're sick on here. Might as well stop trying. You do have a choice right now. You can stay stuck where you are, in a miasma of guilt and pain, or you can start treating this properly, as OCD, and start the journey to wellness and feeling better about yourself. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) I cant see how I can ever move on from feeling this bad about past pervy fantasys, With harm ocd and illness ocd themes inbetween it always comes back to this,I cant beat it because I enjoyed the thoughts once even though they disgust and destroy me now, Edited January 27, 2015 by battlethrough Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Only you think your fantasies are pervy. Keep telling yourself they were and you will prolong your suffering. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) I used to fantasie about shooting up my high school columbine style, but does that make me a killer? It might be a sick thought but it doesn't make me a sicko. But then I don't attach any thought to it. Don't let OCD tell you how to feel. Edited January 27, 2015 by Symps07 Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Fantasies and thoughts mean absolutely nothing. if people were honest they'd tell you about all kinds of bizarre and disturbing fetishes - taboo makes things more exciting. They're just fantasies. Actions are what matter. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Im trying to see this reaction as ocd But it wont let me be,I dont think ill get over this I dont think most men would entertain thoughts of someone so much younger I feel if my partner new she,d be sickend.she knows about intrusive thoughts with pocd but doesnt know about mid teen fantasys,why has it attacked so many years later Link to comment
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