Long term sufferers......have you gone through this???

[Guest angrocd]

Hi everyone,

I've been on medication for almost 5 years but weaned off in order to become pregnant (ignore my gender in my profile - I don't know how I missed ticking'female'!). I'm almost 20 week pregnant and just feel so fed up. I'm not actively obsessing but it's like in my head I've already decided that no matter what I do I am going to eventually carry through on my rocd thoughts. It's actually different to me obsessing and mentally checking/ruminating for hours on end. I'm not even really obsessing or checking. Just accepting that the day will come when I will eventually carry through. It's hard at the moment. I'm crying a lot. Fed up. Have other long-term sufferers gone through this 'numbness'?

[Guest eden1616]

I think what you are feeling might be more linked to pregnancy than to how long you have had ocd. Sometimes when my depression gets bad I feel a bit like that which is why I would say the pregnancy might be the reason.

[Guest angrocd]

Thanks for the reply eden....feeling very, very sad today (and the last few days), quite low............I was in with my therapist today and I'm very close to going back onto medication. My psychiatrist said it would be fine but because of the worry I feel it's such a huge responsibility, despite their reassurances. No one can guarantee the medS (sertraline) won't have an effect on the baby but I just don't know........the rocd is rearing its ugly head again and I'm just about half way through the pregnancy. I can't spend the next 20 weeks or so like this because I know it will get worse and worse. Just feel so sad

[Symps07]

If your psychiatrist says it's fine for you to go on the meds, maybe it's worth giving them ago?

You could always have a sit down with your GP & discuss the risks & your options.

But make sure you base your decision on facts & not on OCD fear :original:

[Guest angrocd]

Thanks for the replies symps and fiatver.....I'll take a look at those videos! I've spoken many times to the gp and the psychiatrist and they can reassure me no more......they say that it's my decision but of course I keep pushing it re the bad effects on the baby. hey say they are low but no one can guarantee what could happen. My therapist said today that if I was to go on meds that I could not be going back on my decision. Just to take it and let it go - think no more about it. No tooing and froing.....I think the time has come.....I must stop reading stories about 'the risks' etc. on the net.....it makes it worse.... If I was further along, maybe 30+ weeks I'd do my very best to ride it out but I just can't risk the destruction it causes, especially as I have a 4 1/2 year old already. Not to mention my husband who is the focus of it all.

You make a good point about making my decision based on facts, not ocd fear.....it puts it in perspective...tanks symps

[Guest eden1616]

Sorry you are feeling bad try and keep distracted if you can.

[Guest angrocd]

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all of your replies. Feeling much better today - had an exercise class last night and I remembered something that helped me in the past! Can't believe I'd forgotten it! For me the ocd flares up when I feel out of control of something that's 'actually' happening in my life. I have to say I'm worried about the pregnancy - I have no physical problems or anything, baby is fin, developing fine etc. I worry that things will go wrong and because I can't 'really' control the development of the baby, the ocd is something my mind feels I can control. So really, the ocd is a symptom of me worrying about the pregnancy. I feel so much better today. Said I'd post in case it's a technique someone else would benefit from - examining if there's something else going on in life and the ocd is a reaction to that xxxx

[PolarBear]

We have had a number of forum participants say that OCD symptoms seemed to get worse through pregnancy. Probably a hormonal issue.