clear steps advice please

[battlethrough]

My trouble at the moment is fantasies I had years ago

The ruminations are whats killing me

I ve been reading ocd online antidote techniques to stop ruminating

With one technique it says to not need to give a direct awnser to a thought,instead awnser it with a theraputic responce

Eg you worry that you spoke to your boss rudly,ocd responce,oh my god I could be fired Ill have no money etc etc

Whereas the theraputic responce would be maby I did and if I get fired tommorow ill deal with that then.

So my problem is that I did fantasize on a taboo subject,I feel incredible guilt that I did that,I never would again

But when I get the intrusive guilt,images,self hate calling,what theraputic responce should I give to avoid ruminateing and trying to seek proof im not a hebephile

Advice would be appreciated

[Guest nervous]

Hi Battle, I don't know how good of steps I can offer you but I will try.

1. Normally a person who has a strange or troubling thought will think "well that's kinda of an awful thought" decide they don't like that thought and move on, I have observed people close to me have the exact same thoughts I do but then just disregard them and carry on like nothing happened. We need to learn to do the same thing.

1. Recognize your compulsions, this is big one because as much as we think we know what we do, I think most people don't realize the extent that we are doing it. You have rumination and confessing, neither makes you feel better and only convinces you of your obsession.

1. Get used to feeling anxiety about your thoughts. This is the core thing for us because this is what we are trying to get away from. Think about when you are a kid and you afraid of the dark, or a monster in the closet or something like that. You can tell yourself that there is nothing to fear but you will still feel fear, but in time we grow up and we are no longer afraid of the dark or the closet. The same thing has to happen here, we have to feel that fear to move forward in our lives

I think you can agree that this is tough problem to beat, but not an impossible one. In life most people will do anything to avoid feeling anxiety or feeling bad in general, what we have to get used to is that this is part of life to feel this way. Right now your feeling is exaggerated greatly because of all the time you spend thinking about it.

I hope this helps

Edited January 29, 2015 by nervous

[PolarBear]

My trouble at the moment is fantasies I had years ago

The ruminations are whats killing me

I ve been reading ocd online antidote techniques to stop ruminating

With one technique it says to not need to give a direct awnser to a thought,instead awnser it with a theraputic responce

Eg you worry that you spoke to your boss rudly,ocd responce,oh my god I could be fired Ill have no money etc etc

Whereas the theraputic responce would be maby I did and if I get fired tommorow ill deal with that then.

So my problem is that I did fantasize on a taboo subject,I feel incredible guilt that I did that,I never would again

But when I get the intrusive guilt,images,self hate calling,what theraputic responce should I give to avoid ruminateing and trying to seek proof im not a hebephile

Advice would be appreciated

First off, stop trying to find proof you're not a hebephile. Just stop it. As for what to say to yourself, try, "It doesn't matter what happened back then. I am a good person here and now."

Though eventually you need to get to a point where you aren't responding at all. That's where you want to be -- a place where the thoughts about the fantasies just wither and die quickly because you don't give them the time of day.