ocd and my computer...help!!!

[Guest pleasehelpp]

some month ago . i have using one premium leech site . i download some software...im a free member . but a mod from this site give me some "premium member link" and suggested I should upgrade to premium membership. and I agree with reluctance (OCD)

I was really upgrading but that day has lost power to use the computer. That night I logged in and they insulted me.

They said I was a liar and insult me ​​... (im feel bad... but so lucky because i know their true self)

i remove all software i download from their host. and file i suspect that I downloaded from their site (OCD)

then i using other site and download again. and install

but...2 day ago .

I discovered some hidden files left.

and I suspect i have overwrite some file...

now i think i will redownload all file (so much . 10GB>>>) and my downloading speed is 230 > 300kb / s

OMG what should i do?? i dont want anything of people have insulting me!!!

[Guest itsnotmeitsmyocd]

Hiya pleasehelpp,

"OMG what should i do??"

These people sound vile so their opinion/words are not valid ones. I am not offering that as reassurance more as a point of fact!

You know this is ocd playing up, so ideally you do nothing to react to the thought. If you start re-downloading that is a compulsion and only gives the thought more power.

[Guest pleasehelpp]

thank you . its better now. but i get new problem...

when I discovered some hidden files left.

and I suspect i have overwrite some file...

im be mad ... i say : so stupid !!! because uninstall file cant remove 100%

now i think i have insulting progammer who creating this software . and now i cant use my soft ...

[Guest itsnotmeitsmyocd]

Hiya Pleasehelp,

I don't think it's a new problem, it sounds the same as the last ocd obsession - just that it is dressed up in a slightly different way.

May i ask, are you actively looking on your hard drive for evidence of these files? If you are then this is a compulsion - looking for evidence to back up your ocd's demands

As for insulting the programmer, this is the ocd obsession working, if you choose not to use software then this is called avoidance.

Do your ocd obsessions generally revolve around over responsibility?

[Guest pleasehelpp]

thank you for help me.

yes.I tried looking for the file to make sure I was clear all.

"Do your ocd obsessions generally revolve around over responsibility?"

my translate tools ...im not understand 100%

but example:

I found a small error in a book. OCD begins operations. and to avoid that. I started thinking, "I hate this book. who cares what they have?"

but OCD stronger than me . i remember my favorite artists like this book too.

i feel something but i dont know how to say it...look like i dont want my artist like this book .and i feel "I wanted his cause of failure and never saw him again"

but then i dont want and im feel guilty and cant read his book. because I can not use the products of the people I have insulted.

help me.

sorry my english.

[Guest itsnotmeitsmyocd]

Hiya pleasehelpp,

Your English is really good, what is your first language?

So by looking for the files - this is a compulsion - try to fight the urge to look for these files.

I found a small error in a book. OCD begins operations. and to avoid that. I started thinking, "I hate this book. who cares what they have?" - OCD sends you the faulty message ""I hate this book" Avoiding reading the book shows ocd that the faulty message it's sending is vaild - so by avoiding you are feeding your ocd - avoidance is a compulsion.

Lots of what you are describing are ocd obsessions, not you actually wanting the thoughts. These thoughts are out of your control, but how you respond to the obsessions is in your control. Ocd is a big bully and the more you give it the more it takes. So ideally you work towards resisting the compulsions - is that something you feel you are able to work on?

Take care