Catch 22.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

I hate that my sex life has taken a dump due to my current theme. I have POCD and I find it really hard to have sex with my husband due to the intrusive thoughts popping up. Also, I basically have no desire for sex most of the time due to all of these thoughts and fears. However, sometimes when I do feel better, I start to feel like I want to by intimate with my husband ... then immediately after this thought, comes the thought that if I do it will be because of these POCD thoughts... then it makes me feel like I no longer want to have sex. Then after deciding I don't want to have sex, I start getting thoughts that I only don't want to have sex now because I don't want to with my husband (instead of because of the intrusive thoughts). I feel like I am in a perpetual catch 22.

Does anyone else experience this?

[Ollie46]

Had it for ages, Headabovewater. About a year or so, I absolutely denied myself any kind of sexual arousal because I was so scared of my thoughts. But I don't have it anymore, or i have it less at least. And when I do get it, it doesn't bother me.

The way you get rid of this kind of OCD is to just do what you're gonna do and let the thoughts be present. It sucks, big time. But after the first few times, you're brain starts to subconsciously recognize that the thoughts aren't anything to worry about. As you say, you want to do it, but as soon as you think that, you get the thoughts. Boom, that's another anxiety attack that puts you right off the idea, am I right? Trick is, to put OCD in it's place, you have to allow it to do it's thing. It's going to be uncomfortable, but you have to not recoil at the thoughts and just let them be there. Sound like a familiar concept? That's because what you're doing i ERP. It's a nasty thought, but it does work, I promise you It was the hardest thing I think I ever had to do, but I did it. And if I can do it, you can definitely do it, because I am really not that special at all Keep at it head, this is the worst part of the whole disorder. It's not invincible, it can be beaten, you just have to take a breath and summon up every ounce of willpower you have.

Good luck! And don't force it or worry if you slip up. Stuff like this takes time, it's certainly not easy.

Ollie

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Thank you so much, Ollie. I am feeling better about it today. Let's hope this progress sticks. OCD is such a little beast. I am working every day to stop ruminating and stop reacting to these thoughts. My medication is helping with the anxiety so I hope soon this theme will fade away and I can stick to beating OCD completely. I appreciate all your help, Ollie. You were one of the first people I talked to here on the forum and you have always been so helpful. I'm happy for you that you are doing well and I hope you continue to do so! ))

[Ollie46]

You are more thank welcome, Head, glad to hear you are feeling better. It sounds like you are doing the right things to beat it, so massive congratulations to you for that, it's not easy going to do those things

[PolarBear]

Thank you so much, Ollie. I am feeling better about it today. Let's hope this progress sticks. OCD is such a little beast. I am working every day to stop ruminating and stop reacting to these thoughts. My medication is helping with the anxiety so I hope soon this theme will fade away and I can stick to beating OCD completely. I appreciate all your help, Ollie. You were one of the first people I talked to here on the forum and you have always been so helpful. I'm happy for you that you are doing well and I hope you continue to do so! ))

Certainly a much more positive post than those we typically see from you, HAW. I like it!

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Certainly a much more positive post than those we typically see from you, HAW. I like it!

Thanks, Polar. I have been really working at it. I need to stay in the here and now and do what I need to do in order to focus on my life and not on these OCD fears that have plagued me. I am all too familiar with OCD and its tricks.. yet.. I always seem to fall apart when the thoughts get too real or too disturbing. The doubt, as we all know, is a devil. I am really trying to focus on other things and working on healthy lifestyle changes, with my diet and exercise and trying to stay busy. It might be all I can do at the moment, as I know the thoughts and doubts will linger, but at least I can change some things.

[PolarBear]

And yet, those changes you've been focusing on seem to be working at the moment. You are coming across calmer and more positive now than in the past. And it's okay that the thoughts are going to sneak up on you and slam you when you least expect it. Actually, you should be expecting it. They'll throw you for a loop and it will seem terrible and tough to deal with again, but know that you overcame them before and you can overcome them again. At that point, when the thoughts become too much, give yourself a break, go ahead and feel the anxiety, and slowly refocus onto the important things and keep going again.

You have actually done this. Several times now. You've gone from the depths of despair back up to a more normal way of living. You can do it again. And again.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

And yet, those changes you've been focusing on seem to be working at the moment. You are coming across calmer and more positive now than in the past. And it's okay that the thoughts are going to sneak up on you and slam you when you least expect it. Actually, you should be expecting it. They'll throw you for a loop and it will seem terrible and tough to deal with again, but know that you overcame them before and you can overcome them again. At that point, when the thoughts become too much, give yourself a break, go ahead and feel the anxiety, and slowly refocus onto the important things and keep going again.

You have actually done this. Several times now. You've gone from the depths of despair back up to a more normal way of living. You can do it again. And again.

Thank you for that, Polar, it definitely motivates me to stay on path. I have been a little sick today and been suffering with a horrible headache. When I don't physically feel well it seems that my OCD gets worse. Though, my OCD isn't too bad today, it is worse than it was yesterday. I have been getting intrusive thoughts again that are feeling real and making me want to ruminate. I am resisting but it seems that the OCD is persistent today. I am going to try to relax later and take a nice warm shower and do a facial and all those girlie things I normally love to do... just to help me stay on track and to feel better. Thank you again for your encouragement.... I need that.