Doubting of feelings

[NicoletteCB]

I have been doing exposure this week where I look at triggering content that causes me to doubt my feelings and accepting all of the feelings I may get but what I'm still confused about is that I still doubt what my genuine happiness feels like? How do I fix this? I can't "make" myself happy though I want to be...in fact I'd describe myself as relaxed and satasfied rn but I am still doubting I feel happy, my OCD has clung onto it's own version of happiness for so long that I have no idea what happiness feels like or is and I feel this is a cognitive distortion that needs to be dealt with.

Currently this is what my OCD considers the only true happiness: Excitement/ energy and good feelings in the chest and head when thinking or looking at things I enjoy.

It's unrealistic to expect this type of reaction all the time and for this to be my only indicator that I am happy and enjoying something but when I try to tell myself I'm happy and I don't feel like the above I begin to doubt myself like crazy.

[PolarBear]

I think this is something that is going to take some time to work out. You're on the right track though. You recognize that those energetic feelings are not going to be present all the time. That's a big step forward for you. Just keep hanging in there and I think eventually you'll come up with a different definition of what happy is.

[NicoletteCB]

Would it be effective as an erp exercise to look at triggers I like and tell myself I'm happy and not analyze or ruminate current feelings or sensations? I'm not sure but you're right, it's gonna take some time.