Guest Saz Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi everyone (again) I feel a bit like a failure because I'm stuck. I never post anything positive anymore either, it's all doom and gloom and depressing. I'm a broken record with no signs of being 'fixed'. I know I sound like I'm feeling very sorry for myself and after sympathy-but I'm not. People tell me (and rightly so) that the change needs to come from me but what happens when you try your very best but your still stuck? Where do I go from here really? I can honestly say I do not think about the actual thought now but I awake every day full of anxiety like it's ingrained into me that I'm a walking criminal or something and I cannot shift this at all, the feeling is very, very overpowering. x Link to comment
Guest nswitch Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I relate to what you are saying , Saz. I've felt (and am still feeling) rather like that myself. I can only speak from my own experience but I think this will pass for you. What I am trying to do is take my mind away from anxiety by doing as many positive things as possible and challenging what makes me anxious. This has been possible after some really horrible days. I know its easier said than done but it might be worth a try. Exercise really helps for me too. How about things you enjoy and make you feel good? But I really appreciate when you are in that really dark place, its hard to overcome these feelings. Please be kind to yourself and take care. Link to comment
Guest Tricia Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I used to feel a failure, but I don't any more. It takes a lot of courage and perseverance just to cope. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thank you both for your words. When I see things written about people who thought they had ocd about a particular subject and it turned out not to be then that is very frightening and stops any good progress I've made. It's not just that but it all confuses me so much x Link to comment
Guest nswitch Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Saz, As soon as I made good progress after a very difficult week, the OCD came back at me with 'this isn't OCD, you're just a bad person looking for an excuse for your thoughts". And even though this distresses me, I push the thoughts away. Because I know thats the nature of OCD: it preys on doubt. It is easier to fight when you feel stronger: but to feel stronger, you just have to fight back a little, no matter how hard. Link to comment
Guest angrocd Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi Saz, I've been struggling with my thoughts for a while (again) and yesterday after an exercise class something very important came into my mind - it actually really helped me when the thoughts had gotten bad before but with the anxiety/depression this time I'd forgotten about it. What seems to work for me is (- don't know if it would work for you but I'll put it out there -) I stop and ask myself if there is ANYTHING else going on in my life that I'm finding difficult to cope with at the time of the ocd flare up. If there is and I'm ignoring the actual situation the ocd gets worse. I feel that for me if I feel out of control of the actual situation my mind compensates by increasing the ocd because for some reason I feel I can ignore what's really going on and work on my intrusive thoughts. Last night this came back to me and I feel much, much better today. I have something I'm struggling to cope with in my life at the moment - I'm pregnant and worry about the baby developing properly (baby is absolutely fine, no problems at all). I feel out of control about the baby but in a twisted way I feel 'in' control of the thoughts - even though i'm not......aaarrgghhh. It's better today!! It's easy for people to say the change needs to come from you but when you're feeling down it's very difficult......take it easy on yourself. When you give yourself a break you'll start to feel a little better and stronger. Link to comment
Guest PaulM Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Baby steps Saz. You've been working hard. Sometimes it isn't easy to see. But you've made progress. Even if people slip back, it's progress because they know where they've come from. Just a bit at a time is all it takes. Link to comment
taurean Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) I still feel the way forward is probability. You have been going looking for proof Saz and it has set you back. OCD will always demand certainty. So go with the balance of probability that it's OCD and cease the compulsing activity. OCD plays up feelings of guilt or needing to be punished, having allegedly done wrong. So when these come along be ready with your position re it being OCD and face these out and they may lose their power. Edited January 30, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thank you both for your words. When I see things written about people who thought they had ocd about a particular subject and it turned out not to be then that is very frightening and stops any good progress I've made. It's not just that but it all confuses me so much x Your progress need not be stopped and you should not be dealing with confusion. Clearly you have not bought into the premise that you are dealing with OCD. You are not 100% there. Until you are, you will continue to be tripped up by this comment or that story. Accept that you have OCD. Accept that you are dealing with OCD. Treat it as OCD. Keep treating it as OCD. No wavering, no waffling. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Morning everyone and thank you for taking the time and effort to reply. I'm sorry I can't reply individually at the moment. I'm just so tired x Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hi all I don't want to start another thread but can you have obsessions with no compulsions? For example every time my phone rings early in the morning I instantly think it's bad news like someone has died. Now I'm pretty sure I have no compulsions to this, I don't do anything to rid me of the thoughts and I guess once I realise no one has died im ok-because I have the answer. These thoughts aren't nice and cause me to worry for a few seconds. X Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think this is pretty common, OCD or not x Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Yeah I guess so. That was just one example which I suppose is quite common. The other one is that I keep thinking I'm gonna get bad news about a particular person, again no ruminating its just a very horrible thought. I'm not distressed by these I just don't know why I think this way x Link to comment
taurean Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hi all I don't want to start another thread but can you have obsessions with no compulsions? For example every time my phone rings early in the morning I instantly think it's bad news like someone has died. Now I'm pretty sure I have no compulsions to this, I don't do anything to rid me of the thoughts and I guess once I realise no one has died im ok-because I have the answer. These thoughts aren't nice and cause me to worry for a few seconds. X There is a rationale to that isn't there - beacuse its an unusal time for someone to ring. How would the woman on the Clapham omnibus respond to that? She would probably think oh I wonder who is calling me so early - she probably wouldn't have the thought that someone has died - that is a negative intrusive thought. As you are in fact an OCD sufferer I would put it down to a bit of OCD and a bit of fear - the fear dissipates when you realise that is not the purpose of the call . You can have obsessions without compulsions. As a child I had a dislike of seeing the church spire at night - made even more irrational as that church was extremely well known to me as I was a chorister in the choir. I just didn't like it looming over me - but didn't have a reason. It was a tall spire - but i was comfortable enough drawing it in the daytime for a school art project! Link to comment
taurean Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Yeah I guess so. That was just one example which I suppose is quite common. The other one is that I keep thinking I'm gonna get bad news about a particular person, again no ruminating its just a very horrible thought. I'm not distressed by these I just don't know why I think this way x The second one is a classic type of OCD - so you think this way because of another OCD theme. I had a friend who confided in me - as she knew I had OCD - that she was regiualrly in dread that something bad would happen to her husband, and she thought she was going mad. When I explained to her that this was another form of OCD and treatable the relief in her was amazing to see. The treatment for this type is in fact ERP. Link to comment
Yrrow Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I do this too. If the phone rings, I fear bad news. I sometimes get scared checking the mail because I'm afraid there will be bad news or I'm in trouble. If someone doesn't return a call, I am afraid something is wrong or they are mad at me. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Thanks both. You just feel constantly on edge don't you. So is obsessions without compulsions ocd or is that just anxiety? X Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Yrrow yes I do this if I don't hear back from someone I think they have fell out with me! I didn't used to be this bad it's ever since this whole memory business, I feel it always links back to it x Link to comment
Binxy Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Hang in there Saz, I hope you're doing OK this morning. Link to comment
taurean Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Thanks both. You just feel constantly on edge don't you. So is obsessions without compulsions ocd or is that just anxiety? X There is no real need to specifically classify it. It could just be fear. Fear anxiety worry stress phobias are all anxiety disorders, all I think may full under the umbrella of cognitive therapy to resolve. The good thing is although it's distressing it's not a major matter. The best way to look at it might be rational - the view of the woman on the Clapham omnibus - who is just surprised but is not assuming the worst. Link to comment
Guest Orwell1984 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Just generalised anxiety. Horrible but keep taking the 'meh' attitude and hopefully it will move on. Do relaxing things for yourself in general and maybe the intrusive thought wil pop up less. I have this too about my partner it sucks. Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Hi orwell It isn't causing huge distress, I still hate it, but I guess I'm just wondering what it's all about, what makes us so worried all the time. So does ocd happen because you have anxiety? I don't know how this all came about. As a side note I'm unfortunately (and im really sorry) back to thinking that people are just telling me I've ocd just because I think I can't remember because of alcohol x Link to comment
taurean Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) OCD is one of a number of anxiety disorders Saz - its part of a "family" of problems that manifest with anxiety. We have answred your second question many times so not going to go there. You know what to do, but you listen to the "whispers in your ear" (and you know where they come from) and not to us. Edited February 2, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
Guest Saz Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I know Roy I will try harder x Link to comment
PolarBear Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Saz, aren't you getting tired of thinking about this all the time? Isn't it dragging you down? Link to comment
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