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Hi.Can anybody please help me?


Guest jxx

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Hi.I am new here and i am really very confused.I don't know if i really have OCD or not which makes my condition all the more torturous.So while researching on OCD i found this group and thought of coming here and talking with the people who actually suffer from this illness.Maybe i can get some help here.I would really appreciate it if someone helps me.So,the thing with me is that i have these very weird habits.i have a habit of obsessing over sheer illogical and utterly meaningless thoughts.I have this constant fear that something bad will happen to my family.like if i don't write a particular word in certain 'way',something bad will happen.i have to cut a particular word over and over again until i succeed in convincing myself that what i am doing is completely illogical or until it feels 'right'.I have read some articles and in all of them i find that the most common of symptoms are washing hands,checking,hoarding,etc.but i don't have any of that.but i have this extreme phobia of sticky organic substances and whenever i am around such things i feel panicky.i mean right now just writing about it seems very hard.i have to like mentally cleanse myself.i know how weird this sounds.i find i weird too and therefore i am very scared all the time.and this mental cleansing is not just limited to physical things.I also get triggered by other things which i think to be impure(highly illogical).Like this time when i was on the internet and i saw this picture of a dead person and i was so full of fear and panic.i thought if i see any of my loved ones now something bad will happen to them.I mean how illogical is that?but i couldn't convince myself in anyway.i fought and fought and fought with my brain but just could not get over that thought.then i went and washed my eyes and then just to be sure i looked at myself in the mirror so that if my eyes were still impure it will just be me.it is so weird.So weird,really.And this was not an isolated incident.it happens all throughout the day.my brain feels like it is an antenna with nerve endings protruding out of it,ready to pick up any trigger.i am always on edge,always scared.i also have some weird habit of repeating certain words in my head and sometimes even out loud.but i try to control it.I am also uncomfortable in the presence of certain sounds and sharp objects like needles,pins or even pens sometimes but this fear is relatively easy to control.i get uncomfortable when i am near a corner or anything like stain.But all my symptoms are not very visible.it's just inside my brain.nobody except my family notices my weirdness.but it is very tiring.i get exhausted fighting with my own brain all day and all night.Can anybody tell me what i am suffering from?it certainly isn't normal.Is it?Because sometimes i think maybe i am just too lazy and too weak.maybe i suffer because i let my brain control me.i am really confused.And this is taking a toll on my self esteem.Thanks in advance.

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Guest 04KentNa

Hi,

I totally understand how you go over and over a certain thought in your head and the fact you feel the need to get rid of thought but you can't. It sounds like you are obsessing over scary things the same as I do. I read a really good article which helped. This is the link. Give it a read.www.ocduk.org/sites/default/files/understand-pure-o.pdf.pdf

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Hello Jxx and welcome to the forums. Though I am not a doctor and thus can't make any sort of official diagnosis, I will say that the description of your symptoms sounds exactly like OCD. Obviously having a mental illness like OCD is not "good" or anything, but if you do have it, knowing that you do enables you to fight back and regain control of your life, so hopefully this is the first step in that direction for you.

It is true that often the most well known symptoms of OCD include behaviors like hand washing, hoarding, keeping things in order, etc. but these are merely examples of the larger set of behaviors called Compulsions that are part of what sufferers of OCD deal with. While some behaviors are more common than others, OCD is not limited to them at all. OCD is characterized by two things Obsessions and Compulsions (hence the name :) ). Though these terms can be used in common conversation, there medical meaning is more specific.

Obsessions: When it comes to mental health and OCD and obsession is defined as an unwanted, intrusive, and persistent thoughts/images/feelings which can cause the sufferer to feel distress. In your case some of these would include the idea that something bad might happened to a loved one based on some unrelated action (like seeing a picture on the internet) or the feeling that things are "contaminated". Much of these center around what you describe in your post, about things not feeling "right". It is believed that part of the problem with OCD sufferers is that a defect in our brains can cause it to not properly signal when an idea is sufficiently "OK" thus leaving us in a state where these thoughts aren't resolved and continue to linger.

Compulsions: These are behaviors which the sufferer repeats in an attempt to alleviate the distress, anxiety and fear that Obsessions cause. Sometimes they are related to our fears (such as a person fearing contamination cleaning excessively) and sometimes they are not (Having to repeat a word a certain number of times to protect others from harm). In either case these behaviors are repetitive attempts that may provide temporary relief but never long term relief, and in fact worsen the sufferers problems by re-inforcing the fake importance of the obsessive thoughts. Another common misconception about Compulsions is that they need to be overt and physical (counting, checking, washing, etc.). Many compulsions are mental and covert, such as reviewing a memory or image to try and resolve it, or trying to argue away an unwanted thought.

The fact that you recognize that these worries are illogical is actually common in OCD and highlights that the disorder is not one of being "weak" or "lazy" like you fear. Combating OCD requires learning a different set of tactics to dealing with unwanted thoughts. The primary method for treating OCD, which teaches you these steps is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Additionally some people utilize medication to help alleviate symptoms and allow them to better tackle the therapy side of things, though there are many who do not require medication and are able to manage using therapy alone.

I hope learning more about OCD, and that your symptoms fit the description are helpful. I suggest checking out the main OCD-UK site to learn more about OCD, including treatment. http://www.ocduk.org/ocd I don't know what medical options are available to you in India, but if possible it would be a good idea to work with a qualified doctor or other mental health professional to be officially diagnosed and start treatment. If that's not an option for you at the moment there are numerous self-help resources also available in the form of books and videos. Best of luck and see you around the forums!

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Hi,

I totally understand how you go over and over a certain thought in your head and the fact you feel the need to get rid of thought but you can't. It sounds like you are obsessing over scary things the same as I do. I read a really good article which helped. This is the link. Give it a read.www.ocduk.org/sites/default/files/understand-pure-o.pdf.pdf

hi,kentNa!thx for the reply.it means a lot,really.And thanks for the trouble you took for sharing the link.But the link seems to be broken.Could you share it again?And i would really like to talk to you as it seems you have similar obsessions.have a nice day :)

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Hello Jxx and welcome to the forums. Though I am not a doctor and thus can't make any sort of official diagnosis, I will say that the description of your symptoms sounds exactly like OCD. Obviously having a mental illness like OCD is not "good" or anything, but if you do have it, knowing that you do enables you to fight back and regain control of your life, so hopefully this is the first step in that direction for you.

It is true that often the most well known symptoms of OCD include behaviors like hand washing, hoarding, keeping things in order, etc. but these are merely examples of the larger set of behaviors called Compulsions that are part of what sufferers of OCD deal with. While some behaviors are more common than others, OCD is not limited to them at all. OCD is characterized by two things Obsessions and Compulsions (hence the name :) ). Though these terms can be used in common conversation, there medical meaning is more specific.

Obsessions: When it comes to mental health and OCD and obsession is defined as an unwanted, intrusive, and persistent thoughts/images/feelings which can cause the sufferer to feel distress. In your case some of these would include the idea that something bad might happened to a loved one based on some unrelated action (like seeing a picture on the internet) or the feeling that things are "contaminated". Much of these center around what you describe in your post, about things not feeling "right". It is believed that part of the problem with OCD sufferers is that a defect in our brains can cause it to not properly signal when an idea is sufficiently "OK" thus leaving us in a state where these thoughts aren't resolved and continue to linger.

Compulsions: These are behaviors which the sufferer repeats in an attempt to alleviate the distress, anxiety and fear that Obsessions cause. Sometimes they are related to our fears (such as a person fearing contamination cleaning excessively) and sometimes they are not (Having to repeat a word a certain number of times to protect others from harm). In either case these behaviors are repetitive attempts that may provide temporary relief but never long term relief, and in fact worsen the sufferers problems by re-inforcing the fake importance of the obsessive thoughts. Another common misconception about Compulsions is that they need to be overt and physical (counting, checking, washing, etc.). Many compulsions are mental and covert, such as reviewing a memory or image to try and resolve it, or trying to argue away an unwanted thought.

The fact that you recognize that these worries are illogical is actually common in OCD and highlights that the disorder is not one of being "weak" or "lazy" like you fear. Combating OCD requires learning a different set of tactics to dealing with unwanted thoughts. The primary method for treating OCD, which teaches you these steps is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Additionally some people utilize medication to help alleviate symptoms and allow them to better tackle the therapy side of things, though there are many who do not require medication and are able to manage using therapy alone.

I hope learning more about OCD, and that your symptoms fit the description are helpful. I suggest checking out the main OCD-UK site to learn more about OCD, including treatment. http://www.ocduk.org/ocd I don't know what medical options are available to you in India, but if possible it would be a good idea to work with a qualified doctor or other mental health professional to be officially diagnosed and start treatment. If that's not an option for you at the moment there are numerous self-help resources also available in the form of books and videos. Best of luck and see you around the forums!

Hi,dksea!thanks for the reply.I really appreciate it.i will check out the links you mentioned and let's see how it turns out.anyway.thanks again :)

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