Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) I read this. This is exactly what Im experiencing when fantasisng about girls v guys. I get a more intense orgasm to gay thoughts Edited September 23, 2014 by Ashley Removed link. Link to comment
Ashley Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Sorry I removed your link, but due to the amount of unhelpful rubbish on the web, we don't have time to moderate the links people provided, so we blanket ban all links as general rule. To be honest I am absolutely 100% certain such forums like that are the most unhelpful thing possible for someone with this form of OCD and seeking reassurance there is not the best solution. Are you gay? I have no idea, but would it matter to me if you were? No. Does it matter to you? Yes, that's why the OCD is playing on the thought. I am guessing though that it is not being gay that bothers you, it is the thought of being gay that bothers you, which is very different. Dr Adam Radomsky wrote an article in the last charity magazine on the subject, I will have another read of it later and see if I can summarise what his conclusions on the subject are.. Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 I am disturbed and scared when my groin gets aroused by guys. I never had it ever growing up as a teen or up to age 25 when this fear started. I never got aroused by men. now it looks like I have a ridiculously strong gay sex drive and its driving me to insanity I dont want to be gay but looks like I am Seriously life isnt worth living for me now. All my life goals, the pleasant things I wanted to happen to me, my dreams are all shattered. I feel like punching myself and hurting myself. My body betrayed me. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 weve covered this many many times eric . we have encouraged change , we have worked very sympathetically the person who needs change , is you fella, and only you can do that my friend whats your challenge , what are you going to do differently ? Link to comment
Guest RoundTheTwist Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 All this worrying and obsessing is clear ocd, the more you ruminate the more terrified you'll get and the more it will appear like your fears are true. I know it'll sound like reassurance but logically, you can't just change sexuality overnight, you liked women before ocd, you're not gay you're having groinal responses. I've been there and am going through a relapse myself, you need to label these thoughts, feelings etc as ocd and move on. It's hard I know but you'll get there. Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 I just dont see how this is ocd and its freaking me out. EVERYDAY my groin reacts to men. I dont think ocd can be this strong. I think you are underestimating what Im experiencing. I really think the groinal response is 100 times less than what I am getting. This has to be way beyond that. Plus the intensity of orgasm must be proof Im gay too I guess Im hoping and its probably totally unrealistic that its ocd and somehow I can be saved from the brink. If it is ocd its obsessing about the truth-a painful truth. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Eric aren't you exhausted of this merry-go-round yet? When are you going to try something new? Link to comment
Guest RoundTheTwist Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I highly doubt that if you were gay you'd have liked women up until the age of 25, I have pocd and a comfort for me is knowing that until this illness got a grasp on me I'd always liked guys my own age. OCD plays on our deepest fears, for you it's the fear of being gay, it blows everything out of proportion, your mind is playing tricks on you. I'm here if you ever need a chat. Link to comment
battlethrough Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Round in circles,over and over and over Im not being offensive to you,this what ocd does No more explenations can be given,no awnser can awnser you Ive asked you before what tools are you using to beat this and you told me what can you do So since your last post I ask again,what are you doing to beat this,you wont wish it away,thats not how it works I think you should reavaluate what you can do and try something then post that youve tried x and y,and either its helping or not and people can then help you and guide you,but you have to get tough and be pro active with useing the knowledge youve been told I feel for you,i realy do but you have to find the strength to help yourself,small steps What are you going to apply to beat this? Link to comment
Guest J-L Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 hi mate, i sort of know the horrible feeling you are experiencing, im gonna go into detail a bit here, ive never really told anyone these thoughts before. im straight, ive only ever had girlfriends, sexual relationships with girls and i only have interest in having sex with women and when i masturbate its about girls ok, so im certainly straight BUT with my ocd i do notice that when im 'in the mood' when masturbating or about to get lucky i get certain thoughts that IF i allowed my mind to, i could obsess about being homosexual or bisexual but i know in my HEART im not,my head may say different. im not going to say what exactly but it involves arousal about a male part. I only get these thoughts when i get the thought pop in my head, what if your gay and then my mind tries tricking me into thinking im aroused about men which i then get uncomfortable about, but even IF you was to be gay its not even a problem man, the fact that you are distressed about all this proves to me you are not gay. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I just dont see how this is ocd and its freaking me out. EVERYDAY my groin reacts to men. I dont think ocd can be this strong. I think you are underestimating what Im experiencing. I really think the groinal response is 100 times less than what I am getting. This has to be way beyond that. Plus the intensity of orgasm must be proof Im gay too I guess Im hoping and its probably totally unrealistic that its ocd and somehow I can be saved from the brink. If it is ocd its obsessing about the truth-a painful truth. but you havent made changes Link to comment
Guest J-L Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I just dont see how this is ocd and its freaking me out. EVERYDAY my groin reacts to men. I dont think ocd can be this strong. I think you are underestimating what Im experiencing. I really think the groinal response is 100 times less than what I am getting. This has to be way beyond that. Plus the intensity of orgasm must be proof Im gay too I guess Im hoping and its probably totally unrealistic that its ocd and somehow I can be saved from the brink. If it is ocd its obsessing about the truth-a painful truth. have you ever had any type of therapy............therapy has always been useless in my situation, heavy medication is the only thing thats worked, but a situatin like this would certainly be benefitted from therapy Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Therapy was useless. It made the anxiety go away 50% but then the groinals never went away and then when I was calm and still feeling gay it made me panic again. I did ERP for 2 yrs. It was useless. Why? I think because Im gay and have ocd about being gay because I must be homophobic. Plus while I believed I was straight all my life and never had gay attractions my arousals to girls had diminished 90% fromt he age 0f 19-25. Thats what made me question. I had a girlfriend for 18months which ended not long ago and I really did love her but I never got that intense orgasm feeling that I get when I masturbate about men and was always feeling unfulfilled after it which made me worry. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 but what are you doing to change eric ? Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Nothing can change my sexual orientation can it? So what can I do? I can treat the anxiety and feel calm and then still realise Im gay and then panic will return even worse as I know its 100% for real. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) You posted no doubt i am gay now as your headline thats not change Caramoole locked your previous thread , as it wasnt beneficial I know you dont have access to a therapist , you have in the past . change comes from the sufferer Edited September 23, 2014 by legend Link to comment
battlethrough Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 What do you want to get from this forum eric Link to comment
Guest Readyforchange Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hi Eric, It does seem that again many people are trying to help you as they have in previous posts but it seems as though you're not getting anything useful out of it? My concern for you is that if you do not at least try to take on board some of the advice given this thread might be closed down as others have for you and then everything goes back to square one again? Link to comment
Caramoole Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Nothing can change my sexual orientation can it? Nope...it can't Visiting an OCD Forum can't change your sexual orientation either. We can help people to manage OCD though, if they're prepared to work at it. Why won't you make any changes Eric? Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Because I dont see the point of going through the pain barrier and repression only to be gay at the end of it. If I feel calmer at the end of it the panic and obsessing would immediately return once I see that these attractions are real. I actually think suicide is the only way out. Im not there yet but the tunnel is getting darker and darker. Link to comment
NicoletteCB Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 If you think you're gay why aren't you being happy about it and going to gay bars and hitting it? Literally Eric nobody obsesses over being gay so you have OCD, I've met gay people who realized they're gay and they were so relieved and happy and whatnot, not crying over the past. We can keep telling you you have OCD but the real change comes from you. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Its awful buddy , i know we all do. But at the mo you arent seeing the woods for the trees , thats how horrific ocd is But what we cannot do is keep reminding it is ocd , you cannot keep saying , seeing and predicting futures , ocd recovery is a day to day basis , and i can tell you that from the bottom of my heart as a recovered ocd sufferer You panic dont you ? You are on constant awareness of everything arent you , and when you are in that place everything becomes real , i am therefore i must be , BUT and its a big but , one has to make radical changes both cognitivley and exposure wise Personally id work at the "brain" side first , not the i have got a erection , i see men , i see this , id deal with the brain intrusions thats causing evil anxiety and pathological doubt So would you agree that the brain is sending out bad , nasty false messages ? Link to comment
Eric Dave Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 I dunno if they are false messages though or my true attractions. They certainly feel like they are. If I had my way I'd never feel attracted by a guy, feel strange around a guy or get a groinals/arousal around a guy again AND get excited by women again like I used to back in my teens. And then not have these intrusive arousals come back EVER Link to comment
Guest legend Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Not bothered about arousals attractions etc ... , im talking about the cognitive side , if you want some help im happy to offer from my past experiences. You say you dont know if the are false messages , what we are talking here is unwanted irrational thoughts that are constant , am i right ? Link to comment
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